‘Is that what the card with your present was about? Katy?’ he said.
Forgive me.
‘I’m honestly not sure. Maybe.’ She examined her hands. ‘Maybe not. With Cameron, it could have been a few things.’
‘Yeah. I’m starting to realise that.’ The dark felt thick and heavy. ‘I spoke to Steve earlier. About Jenna.’
‘Oh, yes?’ Ilse’s eyes flicked to him.
‘He said he told me the same as you.’
She leaned back, disappointed. ‘So nothing definite. No physical evidence, he told me.’
‘I don’t know. It sounded pretty definite to me.’
‘Did it?’
‘I thought so. Especially in hindsight, for whatever that’s worth. I should have, I don’t know, at the time –’ Nathan was quiet. ‘But Cam’s my brother. I believed him.’
‘I know.’ Her eyes were on him. ‘What do you think now?’
He looked up. The night sky was huge.
‘I think Cameron forced her.’
‘I do, too.’
They looked at each other for a long time.
Nathan had finally opened his mouth to say something when he heard footsteps on the other side of the yard. ‘Sounds like Harry doing the generator. Do you want to get inside before the lights go out?’
Ilse took a sip of beer, not quite looking at him now. ‘Do you?’
‘No.’
Her eyes turned back to him just before the familiar electrical thump plunged them into darkness. The generator fell silent and there was the sound of Harry climbing the stairs to his own cabin.
Nathan put the guitar down. He could hear nothing now but the distant rush of wind and Ilse breathing. Against the inky night sky, he watched as her shadow tilted its head back and looked up at the stars.
‘I was trying to leave him.’
Nathan felt something stir deep inside him. ‘Were you?’
‘I’ve been planning it for a while. Leave with Sophie and Lo. It’s not that easy around here, though. Practically, I mean. You can’t just pick up and go. I mean you can, physically, but –’ She waved a hand at the hundreds of kilometres of space all around them. ‘Go where?’
To me, Nathan wanted to say.You could have come to me. He stopped himself. ‘Were you leaving because of Katy and the others?’
‘No, actually. Although that obviously didn’t help. There were other reasons.’ She was quiet for a long time. ‘It’s hard being married to someone who really doesn’t love you.’
Nathan thought of Jacqui, and felt a sudden flash of sympathy for her. Their marriage hadn’t been easy on him, but it hadn’t been easy on her either. He looked at Ilse. ‘I’m sorry you were unhappy.’
She gave a small laugh, and he saw her take another sip from her bottle. ‘That’s not your fault, Nathan. I just wish –’ She stopped.
‘What?’
They sat across from each other in the dark, the constellations brilliant above, their drinks warming in the air, the guitar lying on the step.
‘I honestly didn’t know Cameron was your brother when he first started talking to me,’ she said, finally.
