‘Sorry, Mum,’ Nathan said.
She didn’t answer. She was wiping her eyes.
‘I’m sorry,’ he tried again. He ignored Bub, who was clambering to his feet. ‘I’ll fix it.’
Liz took a breath. ‘I don’t want you to fix anything. I have had it up to here, Nathan. I don’t want to see you – either of you – again tonight.’
‘But –’
‘Nathan. Bub. Please. Just go away and leave me alone.’
She turned back to the painting and didn’t move again as her sons left the room.
Chapter 33
It was dark as Nathan sat on the porch, playing Sophie’s guitar. He didn’t know where Bub had gone, and he didn’t care. Xander was crashed out, asleep on top of his bed when Nathan had checked on him. A light was still on in the backpackers’ caravan. Nathan watched the shadows flicker in the windows as he sat on the steps and messed around with some chords.
‘That’s nice.’
He looked up, his fingers stopped on the strings. ‘Thanks.’
Ilse was holding two beers. ‘Can I sit down?’
‘Of course.’ He paused. ‘Always.’
She put one bottle next to him. Condensation had already started to form as she clinked it with her own and sat down opposite. ‘Merry Christmas, I suppose.’
‘Yeah. You too.’
Ilse leaned against the verandah post and tilted her head back, watching him. She’d had a shower and swapped her dark dress for shorts and a shirt. Her hair was wet and shone dark and sleek in the porch light. Nathan had changed back into his jeans earlier, and immediately felt dusty and gritty.
‘I didn’t mean to put you off.’ She nodded at the guitar. ‘Don’t stop.’
He drew a blank, scrabbling around for something to play. In the end, he settled on an old bush song his mum had used to sing when they were kids. It reminded him of Cameron when they were young. Playing cricket in the midday sun until Liz had yelled at them to get into the shade. It reminded him of the Cameron that he used to know, a long time ago.
Ilse stretched her legs out along the step, her feet bare against the wood. She took a sip of her beer.
‘How are you feeling?’ he said.
‘It’s been a terrible day. But now it’s over, I feel –’ She considered. ‘A bit better, I think. How about you?’
‘Yeah,’ Nathan said, realising it was true. ‘Me too. Are the girls asleep?’
‘In your mum’s room. Everyone’s having an early night.’
‘Yeah. Right.’
They sat as he played softly. She did seem better, he thought, in a way he couldn’t quite put his finger on. There was a lightness in her face that hadn’t been there before.
Ilse was looking at the bruise forming around his eye. ‘So you spoke to Bub after all?’
‘Oh.’ He touched it. It hurt quite a bit, actually. ‘He kind of spoke to me.’
‘Did you sort things out?’
‘Not really. I’ll catch him tomorrow.’
‘Well, it is Christmas. He might be more willing to make up.’
