They had been so happy with their tiny, little family. So full of hope. You could see it in their eyes in each image. See it in Evan’s wide smile that resembled Hannah’s so much now. They both had huge grins that showed their gums. Edie loved that about them. Those big, bursting smiles, like they couldn’t contain their happiness.
But Hannah wasn’t smiling now. If anything, those full lips of hers were slightly downturned.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
“I just feel bad.” Hannah closed the cover of the album and lowered it to her lap. “I feel bad that I don’t really remember him.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. You were just a little girl when he passed.”
“But he’s mydad. It feels like I should be able to look at these pictures and feel that. Feel the memories and the love he had for me.” She shuddered. “But it’s almost like looking at a stranger.”
“I haven’t done a good job keeping his memory at the forefront of our lives—”
Hannah jutted out a hand, placing it on her mom’s shoulder. “No. Don’t think for a moment that it was your responsibility to do that. You had to move on and make a life for yourself, Mom. You were a single mother with so much on your plate.”
“Yes, but I still owed you that. Owed you the chance to get to know him through all of the memories I have of him.”
“There’s still time for that.” Hannah gave her mother the softest smile. “And there’s time for this little one to get to know his namesake too.” She hugged her belly.
When Casey and Hannah had asked permission to name their little one Evan, Edie had been surprised in the very best way. Thatknock the wind out of yousort of reaction that eventually turned to elation. What a gift. She wasn’t sure they fully comprehended the impact of it. But she was grateful. Grateful that her sweet Evan would continue his legacy in her new grandson.
“What would you like to know?” Edie leaned back against the base of the couch.
“I know how you met. The whole thing with the seagulls and the chemistry notes. But how did you fall in love?”
What a question. It was one Edie wasn’t sure she could fully answer in a single conversation. But she would do her best. She owed Evan that, and she also owed it to Hannah.
“It wasn’t one of those love at first sight things. But I fell for him quickly. I couldn’t help myself. Your dad was a good man, Hannah. The kind of guy that opened doors and asked permission for a first kiss and called to make sure I made it safely home. He was chivalrous and charming. But boy, was he funny.” Edie chuckled to herself, recalling all the times he’d made her laugh. That side-splitting, bent over, belly laugh. When was the last time she’d laughed like that? “He could always make me smile, even on the hardest days. I remember the exact moment I knew I loved him. I’d failed a pop quiz we had in chemistry. Like epically failed. I didn’t know any of the answers, and just made things up. When I got the test back, even though I knew I’d bombed it, I still cried. Evan, of course, had passed with flying colors. Goodness, he was so smart. Never had to try, really. School just came naturally for him.”
Hannah adjusted her legs, stretching them out in front of her on the rug beneath them. Edie couldn’t understand how she could be comfortable sitting on the floor at almost four months pregnant, but it was where they’d set out all the photo albums and pictures, and Hannah didn’t seem to care about moving elsewhere. She was all ears.
“Anyway,” Edie continued. “He told me he was happy I’d failed because it meant that we’d just have to spend more time together studying. We’d only just started dating at that point.” Edie could feel her whole face flush with the memory. Her cheeks almost ached, she was smiling so hard. “And then he kissed me.”
“Aw.” Hannah grinned at her mother. “That’s so sweet.”
“It wasn’t. He told me I’d failed at that, too. Worst kiss ever. Failed miserably,” Edie said, snorting. “At first, I’d thought he was serious. We’d only kissed a handful of times at that point. But then he leaned in for another and said that, like with chemistry, we would just have to practice until I really understood the material. It was such a cheesy line, but goodness, it made me laugh. And it made me realize I wanted someone like that in my life. Someone who could lighten up every situation. Make me feel better by making me take myself a little less seriously. That was your dad. He always was able to do that for me.”
“Have you been able to find that since?”
The question caught Edie off guard. “I’ll never find another man like your dad.”
“Not another man like him, but another one that makes you feel loved in the way you need to be loved?”
It was something Edie had never asked herself. And something she wasn’t sure she could even answer.
“I think our needs change over the years.”
“I agree with that, to an extent. But the core of who we are doesn’t. And Dad knew you at your core.”
He sure did. He knew what made her laugh. What made her tick. The things that made her cry, like seeing an injured animal or reading a heartfelt greeting card. He knew every little part of her—all the parts that made her whole. And he loved her because of, and sometimes in spite of, all of those things.
Hannah’s eyes softened into a look of understanding. “Do you think you’ll ever let someone get to know you the way you let Dad?”
“I’m older now, sweetie. And more guarded.”
“Why?”
“Why what?” Edie repeated.
