“I didn’t say you would, but I don’t trust this nigga. I know men. He might be sad that shorty is gone, but she’s not coming back. He’s setting you up for the kill.”
Rolling her eyes, London walked over to me and took her phone out of my hand. “I am not going to be mean to him. I will text him back and after tonight, if he texts me again, I just won’t respond.”
Anger made me flick the tip of my nose. “Why can’t you just tell him to stop texting you?”
“Because why do I have to be rude?! Me and that man were together in high school. Like, damn, I can’t be cordial with people?”
“Say less. I’m about to be cordial with people too.” Walking out of the room I didn’t say another word.
Some would probably say I was overreacting, but I was around not shit niggas every day. Out of all the members of my team, fifteen were married, and at least ten more were in relationships. From what I knew personally, there were onlyfive of us that were faithful to our significant others. I’d seen men use some underhanded tricks to get women into bed, and I was on to Omar’s ass. The fact that London was pretty much being green and naïve and not listening to what I said pissed me off. If I said I didn’t want her conversing with the nigga that should have been the end of it. I was her husband, but she was worried more about being mean to him than how the situation made me feel. Damn right I was pissed. Plus, why hadn’t she even mentioned that he reached out to her? She told me everything else.
“Earth to Issac!” The sound of Hymn’s voice brought me back to the present.
I had reminisced on what started the demise of my marriage one hundred times. After that day, London admitted that Omar texted her two more times, and she still didn’t tell him to stop reaching out to her. She kept using the fact that he was grieving as a reason to not want to be mean to him. All I heard was her telling me the next man’s feelings were more valid than mine.
I loved London more than I had ever loved any woman. Shit, I married her. Being faithful to her had never been hard but looking back, maybe I was looking for a reason to step out on her. I’d turned down groupie after groupie over the years and some of them had been bad as fuck. That little devil on my shoulder was putting some foul shit in my ear. The longer I felt like I had to beg her to tell Omar to stop reaching out to her, the more irritated I became. I absolutely let my emotions cloud my judgement, and I was regretting it every single day.
I stopped the treadmill and looked over at Hymn. I had been running my ass off and was all the way zoned out. Sweat covered my forehead, and Hymn eyed me with concern. “You good?” he knew I was going through since London got her own crib. It was nothing new.
“I’m straight.” Grabbing my water, I twisted the cap off and gulped the cold beverage so fast it was a wonder I didn’t choke.
“The girls are with their grandparents, and Brion is working until about seven. You trying to grab a few shots and some food?”
Pathetic. That was how I felt when my once single homies or even my married cheating ones were going home to good women, and my dumb ass was going home alone. “Yeah, we can do that,” I mumbled trying to hide my emotions.
“Bet. The spot around the corner good?”
“Yeah, we can go there.”
With my bottle of water in hand, I followed Hymn to the exit. Since London left me, I’d been drinking way too much, but I had gotten back on a consistent workout routine. Hymn had already expressed that two more years was all he was willing to give the NFL. Money wasn’t an issue for him, and it damn sure wasn’t an issue for me. I honestly didn’t know how many more years I wanted to play. I could stop in three years maybe even four. I had always wanted four kids, however, London said she wasn’t pushing out more than three. It was agreed that when our first child was three, we would try for number two, then wait a year and have the last one. It looked like that might not happen.
People called me an idiot to my face, so there was no telling what was said behind my back. No matter what it was, I deserved it. Even my mother called me a dumb ass dummy, and my father followed up by calling me an idiot. I had begged. Shit, I had even cried, but London wasn’t budging. I knew I had issues when it crossed my mind that maybe she didn’t want to be with me because she did want to get back with Omar. One of the perks of being in the NFL was access to free therapy, and I was thinking about utilizing it. Waking up in the mornings in a huge house without my wife made me physically ill some mornings. I couldn’t even eat. That was how bad it was.
The two women that I had sex with in a club were not worth losing my marriage over. Even Charlamagne the God had given me donkey of the day on his radio talk show, and he was a nigga that publicly admitted to cheating on his wife in the past. There wasn’t anything I could do besides apologize to London, and I’d done that so much she wanted me to stop. She was standing on business, and I didn’t know how to break her down. Being pregnant made most women vulnerable, but it seemed to have given London super strength. Shorty looked genuinely happy walking around without a ring on her finger. She was glowing and something told me it wasn’t all because of the pregnancy. She was really happy and at peace meanwhile, I was more miserable than I had ever been in my life. Go figure.
At the restaurant, Hymn and I ordered double shots of Bourbon and for an appetizer, I got the Philly Cheesesteak eggrolls, and he got wings. “Brion and I are going to the strip club this weekend. You trying to come? She wants to pick the strippers that are going to be at my bachelor party,” Hymn grinned. He knew he lucked up with Brion. She was a winner for sure.
“I’ll think about it. I never thought I’d see the day when I was tired of going out,” I chuckled. “The strip club isn’t going to do shit but make me horny. Ain’t that something?” I shook my head. “I haven’t had sex since I cheated on my wife. Ass backwards and stupid,” I chastised myself.
I was still married, but London of course, didn’t want anything to do with me. I was still a man with needs, but I didn’t have the desire to have sex with anyone else. My lame ass would probably start crying in the pussy and be the laughingstock of the blogs. I just wanted my wife back. I’d empty my bank account to be able to rewind time. My homie was about to start his new journey with Brion and her kids, and I had started a new journey as well. One that I didn’t want to be on.
Seeing other men that had cheated on their wives and been forgiven time and time again showed me without a shadow of a doubt that London wasn’t one of them. Far from it. Hymn wasn’t a yes man, and he wasn’t the type to sugarcoat things. I had beat myself up enough, however, so I knew he didn’t want to add to it.
“It’s just something that you have to get through. Until London figures out what she wants to do, just focus on the upcoming season and the birth of your son.”
Pushing out a sigh I ran one hand over my curls. “Yeah, that’s all I’ve been doing. You know how bad I wanted a kid, and now we’re not going to be living in the same house. I’m not going to be able to wake up to him every morning and go to bed with him at night.”
“You gotta stop acting like a victim, bro.”
The waiter brought our drinks over at the perfect time because even if he was telling the truth, Hymn’s words annoyed me a bit. Needing the burn in my throat and chest I tossed the double shot back like it was water. It gave me something to feel besides regret. Sulking wasn’t changing my situation, so I might as well get over it. Like London apparently had.
“How you think that’s gon’ go? If you don’t get back together as far as having your son one on one?”
“I’ll give it until he’s at least a month old. After that, when I’m not on the road, he’ll be with me at least twice a week. I don’t care if I have to hire someone or get my mom to come help me. I can do it, but while he’s super small, I’ll need somebody to show me what to do. I’m not really worried about that. London isn’t like that. She’d never try to keep me from being a father to him.”
Hymn nodded. If all else failed, London and I would be able to co-parent. She wasn’t the type that would be bitter and give me hell. I just had to hope and pray it wouldn’t come to that.
If he felt I had too much to drink, Hymn wasn’t going to let me drive home, so I capped it at four shots. Once I got home, however, I took a shower and tossed back two more shots. Sitting on the couch, I stared at the huge wedding photo of me and London that graced the living room wall. The house didn’t feel the same without her. A multi-million-dollar house decorated with the most luxurious and expensive pieces might as well have been a prison cell. My son’s nursery hadn’t been decorated because London wasn’t there to do it. He would need a room at my house, regardless, so I decided to reach out to an interior designer that I knew, so she could handle it.
