“Okay.”
I did as he asked, and Huncho stood up to walk over to the table with the drinks. Brion and Hymn were in the corner being lovey dovey. I wanted a refill myself. One thing about me, I was going to always find a reason to celebrate something. Life was too short to be any other way.
CHAPTER 3
HUNCHO
The visitation roomat the rehab facility my mom was in reminded me of a fancy prison visitation room. The thought of prison twisted my gut. I had several charges pending and though my lawyer was a beast, there was a very real possibility that I’d have to do some time. There was no one to blame but myself. I had been wildin’ and acting without thinking way too much. Every time Hymn tried to tell me some real shit, I got pissed off and tuned him out. As a grown man, I knew I had to take accountability for my actions, but I also knew part of the reason for my anger issues was about to walk into the room and sit down across from me. Stark white walls made the room seem bright despite the gloomy weather outside.
Growing up without my biological mother in my life wasn’t the worst thing to me because I had my father, and his wife was like a mother to me. Until they broke up, and she went on to get remarried and have kids of her own. She still kept in touch with me, but it wasn’t the same. I felt like not only did one mother leave me, but the woman that was like a mother to me left me too. I tried to tell myself it was all good. My siblings didn’t have our mother either, and they were both great people.
I had been seated for about five minutes when my mother walked through a door located in the back of the room. Her fair skin was pale from lack of sun, but she looked good. I’d never seen my mother with a full face that came from being at a healthy weight. Even with the sweatsuit she was wearing, I could see that she’d gained at least fifteen pounds. Even if clothes had been able to hide the added pounds the extra weight gain was evident in her face. She wasn’t missing any meals that was for sure. Her short hair was in a half up half down style making her look younger than she was. For the first time ever in my life, I was seeing my mother actually look good. Regular. Not like an addict. It might have seemed strange to some that two weeks before she was getting out of rehab, I decided to visit her for the first time, but I came when I was ready.
“Hey, Huncho,” she smiled like she was genuinely happy to see me. She paused for a moment like she thought I might stand up and hug her. When I didn’t make a move to get up, she gave me a small smile and pulled the chair out.
“I see you stuck it out.”
“Yeap,” she smiled proudly. “I can’t believe I did it myself. Actually, I’m scared to leave,” she looked off to the side. “I feel good. I feel real good. Even with my left side still being kind of weak from the accident, I haven’t had this much energy and hope in a long time. I don’t want to use again. I swear I don’t. But being out in the world that shit has me worried.”
“It sounds cliché, but that’s why they tell y’all to take it one day at a time. You’re already stressing about what could happen once you leave here. That’s only going to end up triggering you. Don’t focus on what might happen.”
“You’re right,” my mother smiled wide. “Every single day in here, I think about all three of my kids. I failed all of you. It’s probably too late for apologies, but I have to give you one. I owe all of you one. Once that monkey jumped on my back, I didn’tgive a damn about anything else, and I hate that. From the bottom of my heart, I do, but I can’t go back.”
My mother looked genuinely apologetic. The way I felt wouldn’t disappear overnight, and it damn sure wouldn’t disappear with one apology, but all she could do was what she did. I doubted we would ever be close, but I wanted to stop hating her. When she was in that car accident and could have died, I was nowhere near as worried as I should have been. I didn’t even go visit her in the hospital. If she would have died, I probably wouldn’t have cried. I wanted to stop resenting the fact that she had three kids to give drugs up for and never once did she even try. Now, we were all grown doing our own thing, and she had the nerve to stop using drugs.
“It is what it is,” I mumbled. “You can’t take it back.”
“You’re right, but I had to say it. Hymn told me you’re back in school and doing well. He also told me that you’re working for him. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.” Clearing my throat, my eyes darted around the room at the other recovering addicts and their visitors. There were women of all ages and ethnicities in the facility getting treatment. There was an Asian girl that looked to be no older than eighteen. There was a white woman that looked old enough to be someone’s great grandmother. A black lady with long locs that appeared to be in her mid-thirties maybe. There was also a Hispanic lady that was pregnant. Everybody had a story.
“Once you graduate are you going to keep working for Hymn or get a job in your field?”
“I’m not sure yet. Working for Hymn is cool. Since he’s going to be in Diamond Cove more, he got two investment properties there. I’ve been helping him as much as I can. Ripping up carpets, replacing windows. Painting. I didn’t know I was so good with my hands. I’d like to do more stuff like that actually. But there’s so much I can do with a degree in business.”
My mother beamed with pride. Once, that was how many times in my life she’d shown up for me. That time was when she came to one of my games when I was like thirteen. She was high as a kite cheering me on and bragging on me once the game was over. I wanted to be embarrassed because she was high, but it was the most she’d ever hyped me up and acted as if anything I did impressed her. I was soaking it all up. Every game after that I anticipated her presence, but she never came to another one.
“That’s amazing, Huncho. I love how close you and Hymn are even though you weren’t really raised together.”
I gave a curt nod while eyeing the clock on the wall. Visits lasted for two hours, but I doubted I was going to stay for the entire time. Conversing with my mother didn’t come naturally to me. Every time there was a lull in the conversation an awkward silence made it feel like I was sitting across from a stranger. My mother continued to ask me questions, and I answered all of them. I couldn’t make any promises regarding the future of our relationship, but I didn’t feel obligated to have a relationship with her. I would give it a chance but if I couldn’t get past the hurt, I’d do the same thing she did to me and walk right on up out of her life.
The day after I visited my mother, I woke up with a painful, swollen, left knee. That shit hurt so bad, I winced every time I took a step. I had no clue how I had hurt my knee because I hadn’t played a game of football since I was expelled from college. I hadn’t been to the gym in two days, so if I injured it somehow, it seemed like I would have felt pain before then. At first, I planned to smoke a blunt, ice it, and just stay off my leg for a few hours. After an hour of barely being able to walk, Idecided to hobble my ass into Urgent Care. Thinking about all the times I had Percs to sell or just to take leisurely, made me kiss my teeth because I for sure needed one in the moment.
Football could indeed wreak havoc on a person’s body, but I didn’t feel like I’d played enough of the sport to be having such intense pain in my knee. Especially since I’d been on a long hiatus from playing. Prayerfully, it wasn’t arthritis. I felt I was entirely too young for that. When I walked into Urgent Care I sighed at the sight of all the people waiting to be seen. I was pretty sure the wait at the emergency room was even longer, so I registered, paid the copay, and got comfortable. I had health insurance thanks to Hymn. When I started working for him, he paid me the legit way with benefits and all.
Hymn gifted me nice things all the time. I had a car, expensive jewelry, designer clothes and shoes, all that. But it irritated me when people felt like I should be driving a Rolls Royce and rocking big, gaudy diamonds because of who my brother was. It wasn’t my plan in life to ride my brother’s coattails and feel entitled to his money. That shit was lame as hell in my opinion. Working on his investment properties had me ending workdays dirty and tired. That shit made me feel like I was earning the money he was paying me, so I was cool with it. Hymn didn’t want me selling drugs or doing anything illegal. There were times when I felt I’d rather do that than to keep holding my hand out for his money, but the pending charges I had made me wish I’d listened to him.
Since I had my air pods in, I got lost in watching videos on my phone and before I knew it, they were calling me to the back. I didn’t expect them to give me any strong pain medication. I just wanted them to tell me what was wrong and tell me what to do and how long I’d be in pain. After talking with the doctor, she decided to give me an Xray, and the phlebotomist came in to draw some blood. After the Xray, I began to grow antsy. Ithad been damn near thirty minutes, and I still didn’t have any answers. After almost an hour, the doctor came back into the room and sat on her rolling stool.
“The Xray’s show that you have swelling in the joint. That usually comes from an injury, but it can also come from other things. The tests they ran in the lab came back with really high markers indicating that you have inflammation in your body. If you’re adamant that you didn’t injure your knee, I’d like to refer you to a rheumatologist.”
“A rheuma who?” my brows furrowed.
“A rheumatologist treats autoimmune disorders. An autoimmune disorder is when your immune system basically attacks your body. I’d like to rule that out. Rheumatoid arthritis, Lupus, Sjogren’s Syndrome are just a few autoimmune disorders that can attack the joints. In the meantime, I can give you a steroid shot in your knee and in about twenty-four hours, you should hopefully get some relief.”
My mouth was open, but no words were coming out. The information she gave me was the last thing I expected to hear. Autoimmune disorder? Where the hell did that come from?
“I know it’s a lot to process but hopefully, the rheumatologist will rule it out. Would you like the steroid injection? I have to warn you that it can be pretty painful, but it’s very quick.”
