“Not at all,” I chuckled. “I already told my wedding party, I’m paying for anything I can. I don’t want my wedding to be a financial burden to anyone. You guys already paid for the bachelorette trip and the bridal shower.” My wedding party had split the cost of the bachelorette trip, and they split everything seven ways even though there were only six of them because they covered my share. They also split the cost of my bridal shower no matter how much I told them not to.
“Because that’s what we’re supposed to do, duh. You don’t have a broke sister, and you don’t have broke friends. Alisa is an attorney for goodness sakes. We got this. You better be saving your money for all those kids you got.”
I pushed my sister playfully, and we headed toward the door.
“Brion!”
My sister and I both turned around when my name was called. My brow hiked while Josie frowned as Imani stood there with a sheepish look on her face. “May I talk to you in private please? I come in peace.” Her demeanor was totally different from the woman that had gloated at the bar when she told me she was Corey’s girlfriend.
“Private? No,” Josie answered her. “Anything you have to say to my sister you can say in front of me.”
Imani’s nostrils flared as she took a few steps in our direction. I already knew she didn’t want to talk in front of Josie, but she didn’t have a choice. She’d better be glad I was even listening to her.
“I’m sorry I let Corey get in my head. I was wrong for being childish. He’s not doing what he’s supposed to do for our baby, and I can’t work without childcare. You know if I end up on the reality show as your kids’ sibling’s mother that would make for good drama. I don’t have any beef with you, and I won’t dotoo much, but if you can get me put on, I could really use the money.”
Josie and I simply stared at Imani for a few seconds before Josie found her voice. “Ha! Are you okay? Seriously, lil’ mama are you okay? You walked up in my sister’s face when she was fresh off a breakup from a loser that she gave seven years and three kids. You gloated in her face like what she was going through was funny, and you want that same person to do you a favor? Hoe you’ll move in a homeless shelter and be breast feeding your child for ten years before my sister puts you on to anything. The show is about WAGS. Not sluts.”
I could practically see Imani grinding her teeth together. She looked angry enough to spit nails, but that was a her problem. I didn’t need Josie to speak for me but since she had said everything that needed to be said, I didn’t have anything else to add. I turned and walked to my car while paying Imani dust. She had me fucked up.
CHAPTER 14
LONDON
I was goingto have to get my aunt to call Jesus on the main line again for me because it felt like the prayer was wearing off. All the peace and happiness I’d worked so hard to accumulate was slowly fading. For the past few days there had been a heaviness in my chest that I couldn’t shake. The day of Brion’s wedding I had to literally stop getting my makeup done twice because I started crying. I didn’t want to be emotional and sensitive on my friend’s day because Lord knows I was happy for her. The fact that I was less than twelve weeks away from giving birth and about to go through a divorce was finally starting to get to me. I’d been happy for as long as I could be, and the sadness was returning.
Brion and Hymn’s wedding was beautiful, and the reception was an entire vibe. The network wanted to do a whole wedding special, and they even offered to pay for the wedding, but Brion turned them down. She wanted her wedding to remain as intimate and special as possible. Planning a wedding in a short time was stressful enough, and she didn’t want cameras in her face the entire time. They weren’t giving up easy, however, and they asked if they could film and air a few parts of the weddingand a few parts of the reception. Helene offered her an extra $10,000 to be able to do so, and she obliged.
I didn’t want the cameras to catch me looking anything other than ecstatic for my friend so between a baby drop kicking my bladder and my emotions, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. When I came out the third time, Isaac was in the hallway.
“You okay? You keep coming to the bathroom. Is it just pregnant woman problems?”
I wanted to spazz on him and tell him it was fuck nigga problems, but this wasn’t the place. I had maintained my cool for so long, and I refused to act up at Brion and Hymn’s wedding. “I’m fine,” I mumbled and brushed past him.
Isaac gently grabbed my arm. When I glanced down at his hand then up at his face, his eyes widened a bit. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to overstep. I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s it. I’m not trying to upset you.”
“Seeing your face upsets me,” I hissed. “I’m sick and tired of all this shit, and it’s your fault. I fucking hate you,” I sobbed and instantly became pissed at myself. Why here? Why now? Fuck!
Issac wrapped his arms around me, and I wanted to pull away from him so bad, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the energy. I was ruining my face and his tux, but I was tired of holding everything in. I cried until I was content, and then I pulled away.
“I really hate to be that person, but I think I’m just going to leave. I don’t want to bring the mood down. Today is about Hymn and Brion. I’ll just tell her I’m tired. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
Isaac grabbed both of my hands. “If you don’t love me anymore, and you really can’t find it in your heart to forgive me then I stand on the fact that I’ll leave you alone. You can be angry. You can call me names, yell at me, hit me, even stay in your own place for a minute, but baby, if even ten percent of you thinks we might be able to fix this, will you please stopthe divorce. Baby, please. I love you so much. I’m lost without you, London. I was a fuck nigga, and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Baby, I’m dying without you.” His voice cracked.
If I was being honest with myself, I was so emotional because I did miss him. I had proven to myself that I didn’tneedIsaac. I could get my own place, pay my own bills, and bring our child into this world without him being there. I could make it on my own, and I would never let disrespect ride because I wanted to keep my man or because I couldn’t function without his money. He embarrassed me, and I would probably never live it down, but was I willing to walk away from my marriage simply because I didn’t want irrelevant bitches to think that I was weak?
I tried. I tried to walk away, but something was pulling me back. I almost had both feet out the door, and I was being pulled like a magnet. Fighting it was making me miserable. I couldn’t find the words to convey my feelings. My heart wasn’t ready to let him go, but my brain wanted him to suffer a little longer. I wanted to drill it into his head that I wasn’t a weak bitch.
Isaac dipped his head and placed the softest kiss on my lips. When my yoni contracted, and my nipples hardened, I knew I was in trouble. “I love you so fucking much,” Isaac whispered against my lips. “I fucking hate life without you. I hate that house without you living in it. I hate myself for hurting you.”
When I didn’t respond, Isaac snaked his tongue into my mouth, and we engaged in a kiss that had my pussy pulsating.
“Oh my God!”
I heard a squeal and chuckled when I saw Brion with wide eyes.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you two getting back together?”
I was sure I looked a mess, but I still chuckled. “I’m still not ready to say yes, but I let the man kiss all on me, so we’ll see.”
