“Fuck,” I groaned lowly.
“It’s cool, Isaac, The divorce hasn’t been finalized yet, but you can do what you want. I don’t feel any kind of way about it.”
“Of course you don’t,” I stated in a tone that came across as more sarcastic than I wanted it to. “My bad.” I didn’t want to argue with her. It had already been established more than once that I fucked up. Everything was all my fault.
“It’s really not like that. She ended up being the caterer at Hymn’s bachelor party. I asked for her number because I was horny, but we didn’t have sex. We linked yesterday after my therapy appointment.”
“Therapy?”
“Yeah, therapy. You don’t think I need it?”
“Yeah, sure. How was it?”
“It was cool. I’m actually looking forward to going back. Using the past, things I’ve been through, being pissed off, none of it excuses fucked up behavior.”
“I’m proud of you. And I’m glad that we can be in the same room and get along. I don’t want our child raised in dysfunction.”
“Me either.”
London gave me a small smile before walking out of the room. Swallowing down a lump, I removed the items from the box, so I could begin the process of putting it together. Even though I had accepted that London didn’t want to be with me that didn’t mean I liked it or that it felt good. I wasn’t looking for anything serious with anyone, but I needed to know that Iwouldn’t be lovesick and regretful over London for the rest of my life. Maybe moving on was the best thing for me to do.
CHAPTER 13
BRION
“You nervous?”Hymn asked as I sat in the exam chair
“Maybe.” I was definitely nervous, but I didn’t know why. I had just taken a pregnancy test two days before. My period had only been one day late, but I knew the day that it was due that something was up. Yes, I had been working hard and dealing with wedding planning, but the fatigue that I had been feeling wasn’t normal at all. I had no energy.
“What are you nervous about? I thought you wanted to have my baby.”
I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes. “Not that kind of nervous. We planned this pregnancy crazy. My nerves are just shot. I haven’t been pregnant in like seven years.”
Hymn stood up, walked over, and kissed me. “There isn’t anything to be nervous about. We got this. If you want to stop working, stay home all day, and stuff your face with food and snacks, you can do that. You know that, right?”
“I know.”
I had worked so hard to build my makeup bar. The reality show got my business a lot of recognition but at the same time, it was my skills that had people booking me on a daily basis. There were days I did at least nine clients. There were femalesthat came in every day we were open to get their makeup done because they were bartenders, bottle girls, or strippers. The women that made money based off their looks viewed paying to get their makeup professionally done as an investment. When they went to work looking good, they made that money back plus plenty more.
Maybe I would close my books for a month or two just until the fatigue got better. I had done the whole stay at home mom thing, and it wasn’t something I wanted to revisit long-term. The door opened, and the doctor came in. She was a short Indian woman. I had a doctor that I’d been going to for years but for my prenatal care, I was going to a doctor that was used to dealing with high profile patients. I didn’t want people trying to sneak and take pictures of me and Hymn every time I had an appointment. I needed people that were used to seeing celebrities. I wasn’t even sharing the news of my pregnancy with the producers or any of the cast members. I wanted to wait until I was almost four months in case I miscarried.
“How are you doing?” she asked me shaking my hand then she did the same with Hymn.
“I’m pretty good,” I smiled not feeling the need to share the fact that I’d been tired because what pregnant woman didn’t have that symptom?
The doctor went over all the particulars then she told me to lie back, so she could listen for a heartbeat and try to get a photo of my little bean. Hymn had sat back down, so he stood up and came over to stand beside me, to have a better view. I licked my lips nervously as the doctor inserted the ultrasound device into my vagina. What if there was no heartbeat? My heart was racing, and I just wanted my nerves to settle. Once she told me the baby was fine, I’d be able to relax.
“Thereeeee we go,” she smiled as a soft swishing sound filled the room. It was amazing to me that something so tiny couldhave a heartbeat. Like, the baby didn’t even have fingers and toes, but the heart was beating.
Aside from my baby’s heartbeat, the room was silent. I felt slight pressure as the doctor gently moved the probe to the side. When the doctor glanced over at me, my heart pounded harder.
“Is something wrong?”
“You must be one of God’s favorites. Either that or your eggs don’t like to release alone. I see two sacs.”
“No,” my heart thudded. “No please be lying to me. How the hell? What the hell? If you tell me you see three, I’m getting up off this table, and I’m not coming back,” I threatened as tears filled my eyes. One of God’s favorites hell. I was starting to think He hated me.
Hymn laughed at my over the top reaction making my eyes shoot in his direction. “I don’t see anything funny.” I whined. “Why does this keep happening to me?”
