CHAPTER 1
LONDON
Standingin the bathroom peering at my reflection in the mirror, I could hear the event planner and her assistants outside in the backyard getting everything together for my gender reveal. It had been minutes since I concluded that I was satisfied with my appearance, however, I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the person staring back at me. My emotions were all over the place as I tried to figure out life and my next steps all in a matter of hours…days…weeks…months.
Never in a million years did I ever think I’d be having a gender reveal while being separated from my husband. It had been months since my wedding set graced my finger, and the blogs had caught wind of the fact that my husband had a threesome in the back VIP room of a club with two skanks. The embarrassment and pain I felt was next level. I went through the worst of the absolute worst. My aunt came to see me one day while I was staying at a hotel, and I knew it was real when she pulled a bottle of anointing oil out of her purse and smeared a dab across my forehead.
Gently, she cupped my face in her hands and began to pray. At first, her tone was barely above a whisper, but it rose a little higher as she began to speak in tongues. The hold she had on myface got tighter as she prayed harder. Even through closed lids, I felt the tears welling and threatening to spill. Once my eyes opened, spill was exactly what they did but even as I cried, the most overwhelming sense of peace came over me.
The peace that consumed me was borderline scary. Make no mistake about it, I was still hurt. I was very much still mourning the state of my marriage, but I no longer cried about it. Fear of the unknown didn’t keep me up at night. The humiliation that plagued me when blogs posted the story dissipated. Whatever my aunt spoke to God about on my behalf, He answered her in rapid speed, and I would be forever grateful. The peace that I had was priceless. I still loved Isaac with my whole heart, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with him, and I didn’t even know where that came from.
A lot of people around me were confused. Including Isaac. The only thing I cared about was my unborn child and not being stressed while I was pregnant. I was pissed at Isaac for sure. Despite being able to accept accountability for communicating with my ex behind his back, I refused to blame myself for the fact that he cheated. Isaac cheated because he wanted to. Yes, I was hurt, but life had to go on, and I refused to be sad every day of my life because he was battling his own insecurities. That wasn’t an option whether I was pregnant or not.
Finally, I turned away from the mirror and walked out of the bathroom. I had signed a twelve-month lease on a beautiful four-bedroom home that one of my homegirls and her husband rented out. He was a retired NBA player, and since he no longer lived in the home during the season, he made money from it. Even though I lived alone, four bedrooms wasn’t too much. The baby would have a nursery, and I wanted to have an extra room for a glam room. When Isaac found out I committed to a one-year lease, his eyes almost jumped out of his head. He wasdeathly afraid that I was done with him for good, and maybe I was.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I should do. I had always viewed cheating as a deal breaker but as my granny used to say, never say never because you might make yourself out to be a liar. Forgiving Isaac wasn’t completely off the table, but I was very skeptical. Being pregnant wasn’t going to make me rush on making a decision either. I would decide when I decided and if he couldn’t wait, Isaac could feel free to walk away. If he filed for divorce, I wouldn’t contest it.
The doorbell rang, and I walked as fast as I could to answer it. I wasn’t really showing just yet, but I had a small bump, and I got winded fast. When I opened the door and saw Brion, I squealed dramatically like I hadn’t just seen her a few days before. Hiring her to do my makeup was one of the best things I’d done because she turned out to be such a good friend. Unlike many others, I knew she didn’t start hanging out with me in hopes of meeting a football player, and she ended up with one anyway. I loved Hymn for her, and I loved the way my girl was glowing. I could only pray he had the good sense not to mess up especially after what she’d been through with her ex.
“You look amazing bookie,” I gushed as I opened my arms to hug her. “Handsome, rich, football player looks good on you,” I teased making her giggle.
“And motherhood looks good on you. I’m glad my little friend stopped kicking your butt.”
“Girl, you? I thought I’d sleep for my entire pregnancy.” Before I could close the door, I saw a white van pulling in. “The camera crew is here,” I sighed.
I knew what I was signing up for with the second season of the reality show. The money it made me was a very hard thing to turn down, but there were times where I missed my old life. The one that didn’t have cameras in it. Although I was no longerstressing my separation, of course, inquiring minds wanted to know what was up with me and Isaac, and I just didn’t want to talk about it. It wasn’t a secret, but it also wasn’t something that I wanted to put on front street for ratings. The same way they tuned in when Isaac and I were good, viewers better tune in while I kept my business to myself.
One of the producers, Helene was cool, but she’d asked me one too many times if I was ready to talk about what happened, and I was close to cursing her out which wasn’t really like me.
“I’ve been getting podcast interview requests out the ass. It seems life went from real regular to real not regular real fast,” Brion chuckled. “Aside from me doing makeup and being in a relationship with an NFL player, my life is real routine and real boring. I can’t imagine what people would want to interview me about.”
That statement got an eye roll out of me. “You’d be surprised. People will be all up in your relationship. They don’t even pretend like they’re not being obnoxiously nosey. That’s why I haven’t accepted any. I know they just want the tea on me and Isaac, and I’m not giving it to them.”
“And I don’t blame you. You don’t owe anyone any explanations, and I make it clear at the beginning of every interview, that I’m not answering questions about anyone but myself.”
“And that’s why you’re my boo,” I smiled.
“You need me to do anything?”
There was a light tap on the door and when I let the film crew in, I saw the caterers arriving. “Nope. Everything is under control.”
The saliva in my mouth dried up when I noticed Isaac’s car. Seeing him didn’t really bother me. It was what came with seeing him. Nine times out of ten, he was going to apologize for what he did and beg for his family back. Lowkey, I was tired of repeatingmyself. He didn’t have to wait forever for me to make up my mind, but he wasn’t going to rush me either.
“Hiiii,” the event planner sang as she walked in through the sliding, glass patio doors. I turned away from the door leaving it open for the caterers and Isaac. I could feel myself about to become overstimulated, but I smiled. “I just wanted you to come make sure everything is to your liking before we leave.”
“Of course.” I walked toward her as Isaac made his way inside.
The moment I stepped into the backyard; my eyes lit up. In the years leading up to my pregnancy, Isaac wanted a child a little more than I did. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a child, for some reason I was nervous about having kids. Finding out that I was pregnant while Isaac and I weren’t in a good place didn’t feel good at all. And to find out he cheated hours after I found out about the pregnancy was heartbreaking. But ever since my aunt contacted Jesus on the main line and got Him to do His big one for me, I was super excited and ready to meet my bundle of joy.
I didn’t want the décor for the gender reveal to be the customary pink and blue, so I went with a neutral aesthetic. The first thing I saw when I stepped into the yard was a light brown backdrop withHello Baby, written on it. The backdrop had a balloon arch going all the way around it. The balloons were white, light brown, dark brown, and a very light pink. Beside the backdrop stood a teddy bear that was around three feet tall. He was holding a bunch of balloons in his hand that were the same color as the ones in the arch. Beside the teddy bear were four large blocks stacked on top of one another with one letter on each block that spelled outbaby.
There were five picnic tables in the center of the yard all covered with beige tablecloths. The dessert table had a backdrop similar to the other one, but it said,what will Ibe? On the left was a cute little, brown-skinned baby boy, and on the right wasa girl. There were vanilla cupcakes with white icing, chocolate cupcakes with brown icing, and red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing. Along with iced Oreos, pretzel sticks, cake pops, chocolate-covered strawberries, little plastic cups filled with apple cobbler, and an array of freshly baked cookies that Brion’s sister, Josie made.
The caterers began bringing out pans of oxtails, rice, jerk chicken, corn on the cob, meatballs, deviled eggs, pasta salad, chicken salad, and green beans.
“Everything looks amazing,” I gushed as Isaac stepped out into the yard with the photographer that I hired following closely behind him.
I couldn’t deny that my husband looked good. Isaac looked damn good. His curls had been freshly tapered on the sides and a line up so crisp graced his hairline it looked like it had been handcrafted meticulously with a straight razor. Isaac appeared to have lost some weight, but it didn’t look bad on him. During the season he was muscular and very fit. Sometimes, he slacked on working out when the off season first started but if I knew him, the stress of what was going on in our marriage had him not working out and more than likely not eating properly. He still had an athletic build, however. His bronzed skin looked as if it had been peppered with hundreds of kisses from the sun.
