Anara looks at me and then to him before she remarks, “Quickly then. I have things I must get done, Prince.”
I walk away from the tension, feeling the heaviness in the air between them. Walking slowly back to our tent, I pull my scarf over my head, the men stare less when my hair doesn’t incite their attention.
Siphonie comes skipping up beside me, weaving her arm with mine. “So, maybe I was incorrect about training. You are looking much better out there. At first, you looked like a child trying to walk.” She wears her lighter Antalian dresses, now that we are away from Shaston’s castle, and only wears a head scarf when she has to. She has her pale pink hair plaited into two strands. Siphonie is glowing, her stomach swelling. She pats the top of the bulge of her dress.
“Speaking of, how is the little shell?” I ask.
“Good. I think so, anyway. I thought I felt her move earlier, but it was so fast I can’t be sure. Almost like butterflies.” She’s determined the baby is a girl.
We walk into the tent, and I pour water into the basin so I can clean off the dust and sweat from training.
“You and Ereon seem to be doing ... better,” she says, not at all subtle.
As I prepare to respond, I take a moment to freshen up by washing my face with a cloth. “We are, I think. He doesn’t press me about not remembering things. He just lets me be, mostly.”
“Until at night.” Siphonie laughs. “I think the entire camp can hear what goes on between you two during the night.”
I throw the rag at her and she laughs harder, catching it before sitting down in a chair. She tosses the rag to the floor and looks over at me. Taking me in, she misses nothing, she never has. However, her eyes will always give her away. She looks carefree, but behind them, she’s gauging if I’m ready for a challenge, shocking gossip, or some sort of continent-shattering revelation. She’s looked at me like this for the past moon cycle, but hasn’t spoken up.
She takes a deep breath before she says, “You need to talk to Thy.”
I try to tug the tight leathers off my hips, feeling them cling to the curves of my body, and I roll my eyes. Nevermind, this she has already stated ... multiple times.
“I’ve said all I need to say.” Throwing the dirty clothes to the floor, I grab the thick, moss green skirt and pull it on. Next, I toss the matching long-sleeved top over my head, hoping she’ll drop the conversation. My hair is a mess, knotted on top of my head, but it will just have to do for now, because as I hear her sigh I know she’s not going to let this conversation go.
“He’s your twin drop, Naxa.” She leans over, grabbing my hand, trying to halt me.
“I know ... or, well, Ereon said as much. That changes nothing. I’ve not seen a single thing to make me believe that is true besides hearing both of your testimonies.” I pull my hand away from her. “Just drop it. I’ve already told you he tried to force himself on me.”
She rings her hands out in front of her. “He’s upset. You don’t remember him, you don’t remember sharing your body with both him and Ereon. Thylas has to listen to you and Ereon almost every night. It’s killing him. Can’t you see that?”
I have noticed the lost look in his eyes. When I first woke up in Shaston, Thylas walked the halls with confidence and now, I can’t remember the last time he didn’t look upset.
“What I do with my husband isn’t his concern. I can’t help how I feel about Thylas. I don’t trust him, Siph. It’s as simple as that. You are telling me, truthfully” — I take a breath before continuing — “that you are okay with someone from Shaston stealing an ambassador position. A position we didn’t even have until the deluc, and even then it wasn’t Rhenor — it is some person we barely know?”
“Carnaxa! We know him! You and I both!” she screams at me. “You know him, Naxa. You know him better than anyone. He held you when your mother died. His back is scarred because of his love for you. He only took the title because he had to, to protect you! You would know all of this if you would just talk to him, truthfully, talk to him. I don’t understand why you won’t give him a chance.” She stands up, tears of anger brimming her eyes. “I don’t knowmany things, but I know Thylas loves you. He made an oath to protect you. An oath he didn’t fully understand and now you just cast him away without listening to him? You aren’t this person, and I don’t know what’s happened, but you need to figure this out!”
I can hear her heavy footsteps as she angrily stomps out of my tent, the sound echoing through the campsite. I bury my head in my hands as I fall to the floor. Everything feels so messy. I hear what she and Ereon say, but I just ... I don’t feel it. In my soul I feel Ereon. But Thylas, I feel nothing when he’s near me. What is wrong with me?
twenty-nine
Thylas
One Moon Cycle Ago
“Are you ready yet?” I bring Anara a glass of water as we sit inside my small tent on my bed. Times like this I almost wish I would have asked for a larger tent, but I’ve always shared Carnaxa’s when we traveled and so I wasn’t even sure what to ask for.
Tonight, I know what I saw. Anara held that flame, controlled it even, to help protect her — us. Her hazel eyes now shine with the green and brown battling for dominance. Is that fear? I’ve never seen this woman in the time I’ve been around her, have this look in her eyes. Shetakes the drink from my hands, swallowing it all down in one gulp.
“Depends ... how many do you plan to tell this to?”
“How many will it affect?”
She sighs before she relents, “Many.”
I look at her again and I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. With her honey beige skin and dark brown hair, her eyes become even more captivating. The eyes show the weight of the knowledge she has carried by herself for far too long. I would be lying if I said I could hurt her for whatever she’s about to tell me. Since I met her, she has been the one who has comforted me many times — even if I didn’t ask for it. She helped me the night of the Nle Shom and the day that I forced a kiss on Carnaxa and ever since.
I grind my teeth, worried about taking another oath, but it’s all I can offer her. “I swear to the Great Goddess above that what you tell me will not be repeated from my lips unless this information would cause harm to someone I love.”
