Ihave always heard that twin drops aren’t just connected by their souls, but their hearts as well. I smile as I listen to Ereon’s steady heartbeat; it beats at the same tempo as mine. Our heartbeats are another reminder of why I trust him — the twin drop between us. The slow rise and fall of his chest shows that he’s deep asleep. I trail my fingers across his ribs and the many scars there; I’m assuming the marks are from his father.
Tonight, even though I am exhausted after my time with Ereon, my mind is lost in thought. I shouldn’t want him.I know this. I hear how he’s talked about among the men, how he’s killed and killed often. He still had blood on him when he had me inside the tent. But I trust him. Is it possible that I love him? I’m starting to think I do, my heart refusing to accept reason. He has never lied to me and has been one of the few who does not coddle me, and I want that honesty more than anything.
I asked him if he would kill me if I had the madness, because I thought I was dreaming of the coolness that shifts down my arms from time to time. When I separated him and Thylas, it wasn’t something I meant to happen. I didn’t want them to hurt each other. I felt the energy flow through me, as if led by a simple thought. I saw the ice vines that held them in place, but I thought if I didn’t acknowledge it, they wouldn’t notice. But tonight, the display of power we witnessed wasn’t me, at least as far as I know. I did nothing but look out in horror as Ereon fought his way towards the soldier. But I felt the pull of the power as it wrapped around Ereon.
Something feels different — perhaps even wrong — inside of me. My thoughts feel like mine, but are not wholly my own. Even the sensation of my blood flowing through my veins feels altered. I’m unsure if it’s the madness, but whatever it is, it’s wrong. Anger seems to overtake all other feeling, and that’s not who I am.
I want to talk to someone, but who? I can’t talk to Siphonie for fear that if I do have the madness, her knowing could endanger her, Rhenor, and their unborn babe. Ambassador Thylas? The Shastonian who found his way into the good graces of the Antalian people. Despite what he says, I don’t trust him not to turn mein for his own gain. With me out of the way — he could have unchecked power if my father wasn’t king.
My father.
The deluc has consumed Antalis. My friend Marianna is dead as a result. I’ve rarely let myself think of her demise … of my kingdom’s. That’s selfish of me, but I’m unsure how I’m supposed to help. I’m trying my best to cling to what I know as we continue this journey. We are heading to the north now to get men for Midaeliea, but what of Antalis? Ereon swears we will change things, but how can we? How can I?
You’re useless. A status symbol who wears a crown.
I push the covers off me and sit up, twisting so my feet hang off the bed. I feel Ereon’s cool fingertips brush against my wrist.
“Ryehro, are you okay?” Exhaustion laces his voice.
“I’m just thirsty.” I take advantage of his sleepy state, hoping to catch him off guard. “What doesRyehromean?”
He lets go of my wrist and raises his hand to rub my back as he yawns. “My moon. You are my moon, a light in the darkness.”
His words make my cheeks flush with warmth. As I turn, I bend down and use my hand to sweep away the stray strands of brown hair that fall across his face. Pulling my legs back onto the bed, I watch as his eyes flutter open, blinking away the remnants of sleep.
Ereon’s hands glide across my ribs, sending a shiver down my spine. With a sudden movement, he pulls me towards him, and a startled scream escapes my lips as he positions me to straddle him. He grins and I can feel his hardness beneath me. Enveloped in hisembrace, his intense gaze locks onto mine; I feel shielded from the chaos that surrounds us.
“Can you shine some of your light on my dark soul again,Ryehro?” he whispers in the darkness, his fingers leaving a blazing trail along my thighs. He thrust up and I’m already pulling the night dress straps from my shoulders.
“Yes.”
“Strike again,” Ereon says from the sidelines of the makeshift ring.
I raise my staff, letting my hands take the position on the bottom and strike southwest towards Anara. She blocks the attack, striking back.
Anara is quiet — at least with me. Siphonie says she talks a lot to Thylas since the night we all witnessed the madness, a moon cycle ago. We’ve traveled slower than expected because of conflicting reports from the north. But in a way, I’m grateful … the slower pace has given me time to train.
Anara does what is asked of her; she’s always there when I need her as a handmaiden, but every time she looks at me, a sort of melancholy flashes across her features. Except for when she’s in this ring, then she’s a warrior to contend with.
Ereon has tried for days to talk to Anara, but every time he is in her vicinity she leaves. I understand they were together before I showed up. He still loves her, it’s plain across his face each time he sees her. I was the one to find the courage to ask her if she wouldn’tmind helping to train me. Even with her shackles and the chains between them, Anara always wins the matches.
The outfit she wears is almost identical to the one that Ereon had made for me. Anara told me that those in San’doma prefer pants.
Anara moves gracefully as I block her moves, a thud echoing through the camp as our staffs clash. She swipes quickly at the ground knocking my feet out from under me, causing me to land flat on my back.
Trying to catch my breath, I hear Ereon laugh. Anara comes into view, and I can’t help but smile up at her. I’m starting to like her, she doesn’t treat me like I’ll break.
“Sorry” — she holds out her hand, offering it to me to help pull me up — “I sometimes forget that I’m supposed to be training you, not leave you breathless.”
I stand up, quickly wiping away the dirt from the back of my pants and pick up my staff from the sandy ground. “Eventually, I’ll remember that move.” She’s beaten me every day this week with the same attack. I have a bruised back from falling, and while Siphonie believes it’s unbecoming for a princess to have bruises, I don’t really mind. And I am getting better. Slowly.
“I think that’s enough for today, Princess.” Ereon comes up to me, places his arm around me, and kisses my temple. We’ve found comfort in each other every night since the first night we came together.
“I’m going to go wash up then.” I look at Anara. “Can you come help me when you’re finished? I want to get out some of mywarmer clothing since we will find ourselves in the snow soon. We buried those items underneath everything else when we left.”
“I can come now.” She grabs a black canteen from the ground and takes off her fingerless gloves — Ereon explained they are to better grip the staff — before taking a drink.
“I’ve got to go check in with Ryul and then I’ll be back. Find Thylas or Rhenor and try to stay with one of them, please.” Ereon looks down at me before his arm slips from my shoulders and he continues, “Anara, I would like a few words with you.”
