“And I am?” The words escape my mouth before I can stop them and I turn away from his stare. My fingers clutch my glass of water, causing my knuckles to turn white. What a stupid thing to say.
His fingers come under my chin, turning my head back to him before tilting it up to look at him. I can feel his breath on my nose and a shiver snakes down my spine.
“You are exactly my type.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. My shell starts vibrating faintly against my chest. I’m unsure if the vibration is visible, but it is definitely tangible.
He kisses the top of my nose and his beard tickles against my lips. He stops and I stare into his eyes, the beautiful dark brown. I let my fingertips trail across the robe he wears. The pull in my chest feels as if my heart will explode if I don’t get closer to him. He doesn’t move, neither away or towards me, as he lets me explore. Heat blooms from my core, circling and twisting.
“Princess...” He closes his eyes and reaches up to stop my hands. “I don’t know if we should.”
“I want this too, Naxa, but not like this.”
A glimpse of a memory trickles through. Thylas was there, holding me … above me. He had kissed me so much that it left lovers marks and I can still remember the sting. Then he left me, wanting and waiting.
The emotions scatter through me as if the events just happened. Those were words of rejection, just like I’m receiving now from Ereon. He said that we were all together; Ereon had me but a night ago — why would he turn me down now? Anger seeps into my veins and my hands grip into the collar of his robe.
“I’m so tired of everyone thinking they know what is best for me ...”
All the memories I have seem to be of people telling me what I will and will not do. My father told me I would be made to marry a Shaston Prince, and the only memory I have of Thylas is his rejection. Siphonie refuses to tell me anything because she doesn’t want to upset me. The words the attackers told me as they held me down. Everyone is constantly trying to keep me the weak, quiet, subservient woman they want. My mother was the only one who ever encouraged me to be bold and brave before her death, to seek my own desires.
“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Carnaxa.” His fingers move lazily across the back of my thumb he still holds. “There are more things you need to know ... about me. And you’re hurt. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. AtNle Shom, you didn’t have a choice.”
I pull him into me, our noses brushing against each other. “But I have one now.”
I crush my lips against his and for a breath, I think he will pull away. Instead, Ereon wraps his hands in my hair and pulls me closer to him. The sweet kiss turns into desperation, as if he can’t wait any longer, and he growls before he drops his hands to mywaist. He pulls me to straddle his lap, never breaking our kiss. My thigh burns where the brand is as it rubs against the outside of his leg. The shell vibrates and warms as our tongues tangle with one another’s. Right now, he’s the only thing on my mind. I rub against his hard length, barely concealed beneath the thin pants he wears.
He kisses down my neck, biting the skin there, and I let my fingers dig into his scalp, pressing his mouth harder against my skin — wanting his marks on me. A primal need to show everyone that I wanted this. One moment to remind everyone that I can still be the woman I was always meant to be. A moan slips from my lip, and my hips grind against him more. I need more.
He wraps the roots of my hair in his fingers before tugging my head away from him. “I’ll ask one more time ...” His words come out in pants. “Are you sure you want this? Want me?”
His words stop me. I may not remember everything about our past, but he’s the only one who has been honest with me. The only one who has told me the good and the bad of what’s happened. I look between us and the shells that he found, recalling the words he said.
“Yes ...” I stare at him as he tilts my head more, letting his tongue lick up my throat. “I want you, Pri —” I stop speaking, remembering how he’s reacted before to his title. “I want you, Ereon.” Before the words fully leave me, he turns us around and has me lying on my back with him above me. His fingers trail up my calf and stop short of the burn there.
“I’m so sorry,” he says before he leans down, kissing his way down between my breasts and down my stomach. He raises thetunic, which I’m still wearing from the night before, and kisses lightly around the snake before he rises again.
“Ryehro... I —”A knock on the door halts us. He sighs into my hair and kisses my neck once more. “Anyone meaning harm wouldn’t have knocked. Stay right here. I’ll be back.”
He pulls himself away and I pull the covers up over myself. Ereon walks to the door before opening it with a grunt. A Shastonian guard stands with his eyes downcast. “Your father requests your presence.”
“He can wait till morning as per tradition. I have a few more hours yet,” Ereon says, his voice is full of rage.
“Prince Ereon, it is morning.” The guard ticks his head toward the balcony.
Ereon opens the dark, thick curtains that keep out the cold of night in front of the balcony. My heart races as he looks at me, his expression fills with dread. I look over his shoulder, and in the distance, the light of the sun starts to peek over the desert sand mounds.
nineteen
Thylas
The King called a meeting this morning. I wasn’t fully awake yet. The sun was just beginning to emerge over the sands as the youngest member of thePrelI’ve ever seen started knocking on my door. He looked only seven lunar years old, and I wonder if the age of enlistment has changed since I left. I vaguely remember some of my friends joining when I reached my tenth cycle, but when I would ask my mother when I could join, she simply said it wasn’t for me to worry about. It wasn’t long after that conversation I found myselfthrown into the sea.
“You were called as well, I see?” Rhenor comes to stand beside me, Siphonie behind him.
“Ambassador duties, I assume — but why are you here?” I lower my voice. “And have you found out where our men are?”
Since we came to the castle, we’ve been separated from our troops. At the gates, someone met us and ushered the royal party into the castle, but the rest of theShayiwould be taken to their rooms in the soldiers’ quarters. We haven’t seen one since. At first, I didn’t think about it because I was concerned for Naxa, but now it is becoming worrisome because I have not seen Lelfait — my commander — nor any of the handful of ladies that Carnaxa brought with her.
Rhenor shakes his head. “Not yet ... I’ve not been able to find the soldiers’ quarters but I plan to look today after we see what the King wants from us.”
