Theo stiffens beside me and makes a low, growling sound, his fingers clenching up into fists. I put my hand on his leg the way he did mine in the car.Breathe, I want to say to him, because I can’t have him stalking into Rockingstead and killing people, even if they probably deserve it. Not if this is going to work.
Theo breathes out. “How did you cut your hands?” he asks.
Oliver looks down at his knuckles like he’s surprised to see the blood. “Trying to get back inside. It was snowing.”
My heart cracks. It’s the only word for it: my heart cracks like it’s made out of glass, and I toss the bandages aside and pull Oliver into an embrace, burying my nose in his damp hair. I don’t know what to say. All I can do is hold him and look over thetop of his head at Theo, who watches us with a strange, uncertain expression.
Then he kneels down, and he wraps his arms around us both.
I easethe door open to my bedroom and peer inside. Oliver’s fast asleep, curled up under the blanket and clutching the little stuffed alligator toy I dug out of storage for him. My head is still buzzing from my conversation with Sofia. Somehow, I managed to convince her to let him stay with me for the time being. Putting Oliver on video chat to ask for it certainly helped. Tomorrow I’ll get him in to see the doctor in Pinella. But for now, I let him sleep.
When I go back into the living room, the curtain that covers the picture window has been dragged open, revealing the snowy landscape outside. White, blazing sunlight pours into the room, making me feel momentarily blinded after the last forty-five minutes I spent in the spare bedroom, talking with Sofia.
“Theo?” I call out, and then I see that he’s outside, pacing back and forth on the pier, his hair hanging in his eyes.
He’s worried.
That the thought surprises me, even a little, is unfair to him. Of course he’s worried. He was worried when I said I was going to call Sofia, his face scrunching up like he didn’t want me to do it. Like we could all just move into his cabin across the lake and hide there, off the grid, pretending the outside world doesn’t exist.
He can be a ghost. We can’t.
I go to him, stepping onto the back porch without bothering to put on a coat. The wind off the lake is sharp and biting and cold, but the sun gives enough warmth that I don’t care. He stopsmid-pace and looks over at me, the wind making his coat flap around his legs.
A killer, watching from the pier.
“Oliver’s going to stay with me,” I call out, the wind catching my voice. “At least for the next few days.”
Theo lopes toward me, unnaturally fast, and we meet in the middle of the pier. The wind is so much harsher on the water.
“Why only a few days?” he asks, hands slicing emphatically through the air.
I sigh. “Because that’s how things work. But Oliver told the social worker he wants to stay with me. That he feels safe here.”
Theo scowls. “He is safe here.”
“I know. I told her that. This is the safest place for him.” I look up at Theo, at his harsh, worried expression. “I couldn’t tell her about you, but—” I breathe out. “I know it. And so does Oliver.” The wind gusts around us, and I step closer to him, put my hand on his arm. “You’re the reason it’s safe here, for him.”
Theo’s expression immediately softens, and he brushes my cheek with the back of his hand, his knuckles rough against my skin. It’s not until I feel his touch that I realize how wound up I’d been, too, and I fall against him, pressing my face into his chest.
“I’m going to fight for him,” I whisper, clutching at Theo’s shirt. He wraps his arms around my waist. “I’m going to try for custody. Okay? I promise. But I just?—”
I look up at Theo, who’s listening intently, his pale eyes boring down into mine. This is the part that I know I need to say, even though I’m afraid of it. I’m afraid of what it says about me that this is what I want.
Thathe’swhat I want.
“I don’t want to do it alone,” I whisper. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here.” I swallow, tears edging into my vision. “I want you to help. And so does Oliver.”
Something like astonishment washes across Theo’s face, and for a long time, he just stares down at me, the lake wind blustering around us. Then he says, “Are you sure?”
My heart squeezes. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t be sure, that I’m crazy for even considering it. Maybe I am. Maybe it doesn’t matter.
I cup Theo’s face, and he tilts it into my hand, his eyes fluttering closed.
“You asked me why you couldn’t protect someone you love.” My voice trembles, and Theo’s eyes open and burn right through me. “And I didn’t answer then, but—of course you can.” I take a deep breath. “But so can I. Which is why you’ve got to promise not to kill Oliver’s old foster parents. I don’t want them hunting you down.”
Theo gives a little quizzical tilt of his head, then breaks into a smile, which is not remotely the reaction I’m expecting.
“You want to protect someone you love?” he asks. “You want to protect me?”
