His palm is through her hair, at her neck, gripping her, tugging her close, though his other extends toward me, finding the top of my shoulder, squeezing it.
It’s a small gesture to let me know that he’s here for me too.
I look toward my feet when tears prick like pins at the back of my eyes.
Jade bled color into all of our lives.
And I think each of us knew that without her, each day would be a little darker, a little duller.
Forever sixteen.
My hands fist the edge of the seat, and I suck on my front teeth, pushing to my feet. I walk across the room and lean against the opposite wall. With quivering fingers, I slide my phone from the front pocket of my ripped jeans and press on my mother’s number. I rest the phone at my ear, chew on the inside of my cheek, listening to each dial tone fade, choosing to hang up before reaching her voicemail.
Something pricks inside my chest, a thread of urgency, the need to get to her. I’m shoving my phone back into my pocket when I feel a small, gentle hand wrap delicately around my elbow. I drop my chin to my side and find Nanna June next to me, stabilizing herself. I hadn’t heard her creep in. Reaching across my body, I place my hand on top of hers.
We are both watching Harlen and Laiken across the room when I hear movement and voices echoing through the halls.
I ask Nanna June, “Has she spoken to the police yet?” I jerk my chin back toward the door when I see the backs of two uniformed officers pass by the cracked opening.
When Nanna June doesn’t reply, I turn my eyes on her and find her dull-green ones shattered.
“Not yet, darling.” She shakes her head, then wipes her eyes with a handkerchief decorated with small coral tulips. “She asked for a little more time.”
I nod, drop my chin to my chest and clasp her weathered hand a little tighter. “I heard about...”
I swallow my words, I can't say them, because last night I lost a sister, but Nanna June also lost her daughter.
She swallows and croaks, “Chase, sweetheart, I’m ashamed to admit this, but I had prepared for this day, I just hadn’t prepared for…” She pauses and turns to look at me, clenching my arm, shaking with the tears trembling at the rim of her wisdom-filled eyes.
She sucks back a choppy breath. “Your sister was a beautiful, beautiful young lady. I loved that sweet girl like she was my very own granddaughter,” she cries on a whisper. “You should be so incredibly proud of who she was, andeverythingshe wanted to be.” She nods with finality.
One lonely tear falls down my cheek. A crowd of hers follow.
“Th…” My voice breaks and I press my head to the ditch in my elbow, shoveling away the tears. “Thank you.”
Nanna June steps in front of me and reaches for my shoulders, grabbing onto them and guiding me in for a gentle hug. “Oh, sweetheart.”
I hold her for a moment before stepping back, pushing my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and raising my shoulders to my ears.
“I’m going to head home and see?—”
“Oh, yes, darling, yes, go.”
Laiken must hear Nan telling me to go because she snaps her head toward us, her almost translucent-white locks slapping across her face with a certain kind of urgency. She tucks the strands behind both ears, her haunted mossy-green eyes latching onto mine.
“You haven’t seen your mo…” Laiken starts, but can’t finish.
I keep my fists in my pockets and my eyes on the girl that has lost way too fucking much, more than any sixteen-year-old ever should have.
And I couldn’t stop any of it from happening.
My jaw flexes. “No, I came straight for you.”
Stepping forward, I close the distance between us and pull her in for one final hug. Burying my face into her small shoulder, I take a deep breath, then I pull back, returning my hands to my pockets.
Laiken’s chin is to her chest and I clench my fists, stopping them from reaching for her again.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”
