She trembles violently, her teeth slamming down on themselves when I feel her chin hook over my shoulder and her tears wet my neck.
I drag my palm over the hair at the back of her head, clenching her neck.
“It’s okay, Laik. It’s okay.”
But we both knew it wasn’t, that our lives were completely fucked, I just didn’t know what else to say.
Laiken pushes out of my hold, and her verdant eyes are rimmed red. She looks at me through a pool of crimson tears, then presses her hands through the top of her hair, squeezing the tips of her damaged fingers into her scalp.
“It’s not okay, Chase. None of this is fucking okay.”
I wanted to tell her that she was right, that I didn’t know what the fuck I was saying.
But she continues, “It’s sick and disgusting and I can’t help but wonder if I just let her vomit all over herself and didn’t get him to pull over, if we didn’t choose to run; if any of this would have even happened.” Her agony colors her cheeks.
She’s hyperventilating, struggling to get her words out—struggling to make sense. Her hands are back through her hair, tearing at the strands.
I don’t speak again.
Laiken presses herself against the wall, reclining her head, trying to settle herself, all while crying, “I need her. I need her so badly!”
Her words open the wound at my chest further.
So do I, Laik. So do I.
I drop my chin.
We sit in silence when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Harlen passes me a bottle of water. My hands shake when I uncap it.
I press it to Laiken’s shin and she drops her chin, reaching for it.
“Th-th-thanks,” she whispers into the opening, pushing it to her crusty lips and taking a sip. The plastic crinkles in her trembling hand. She places it down beside her, running the back of her hand over her mouth.
“I had a bad feeling, Chase. My gut told me that I had to get us out of that car.” She whimpers, her body moving with the cry. “I just can’t help but feel that my actions were what sealed Jade’s fate.”
Brushing my thumb across the entrance of my nose, I whisper, “Don’t do that. You did what you needed to. You trusted your gut.”
She drops her head back to the wall and I grate my teeth at the crunch.
“I should have done so much more.” Her voice was quiet, barely there.
And when my throat is too dry to reply, she clears her own and I turn back toward her.
Her head remains pressed to the wall, only her eyes are open, angled down on me, never blinking.
“Jade was really sick. I tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn't. I even offered him money, but he said he wantedsomething.I knew that something was us. So, I decided we had no choice but to run…” She pauses and her eyes are still open, but she hasn’t blinked. “Until he shot her in the back.”
The hole in my chest tears wider.
“I went to the ground with her. She was screaming, Chase. It was fucking terrifying.”
Laiken stares at me, unblinking.
“I laid myself over her, but it was like he wanted to separate us because he shot me in the arm, then he kept popping off all around me.” She shakes harder. “I had no choice but to scrambleaway, behind a tree, that's when I called you.” She lets go of the breath she was holding, then she grabs her arm, wraps her fingers around her limb, over the bandage, squeezing, biting into her bottom lip. “I should have stayed. I left her. I should have done more.”
She slams her head back down on the wall and this time, I can’t move, I’m frozen in place.
Harlen is on his feet the moment she stops.
