I keep my eyes diverted. “What do you want, Chase?”
Chase takes the cigarette back. He pulls on it, then says, “Could ask the same, you were the one that came looking for?—”
“Don’t start,” I tell him, looking away, then looking back when he doesn’t take the bait. I wet my lips, hanging my wrists. “Why do you come down here?”
“Why not?” he shrugs, exhaling.
I pinch the cigarette from him, return it to my lips, and I feel his eyes tracing my throat again, the heat of his gaze at my skin. I take my time releasing the smoke before placing my chin over my bicep, touching my eyes to his.
“You know she’s with you…everywhere…you don’t have to subject yourself to all of this…”
“The way she didn’t have to be subjected to being thrown away down here?” Chase takes the cigarette, sucks down another pull and shakes his head. “You don’t have to understand it, Laik, but you can?—”
“I’m not saying that I don’t or that it’s wrong, Chase.” Our eyes hold tighter. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…it’s brave.”
So were you, Laik.Harlen’s words, an echo, telling me the same inside the truck only moments ago.
Chase looks away, clears his throat, repeats himself, “You shouldn’t be down here.”
I pick at a leaf stuck in the white shoelaces of my Reeboks. “Why? Becausehe’sback?”
Chase turns this time, watches me, and I temper down my fear. I don’t want him to see it, to know what the monster that tore apart our lives return is really doing to me.
Our time is coming, Laiken.The secret I’ve kept, the same one Harlen and his father are now keeping, too.
“I’ll be okay, Chase.”
It’s a lie, and we both know it.
He takes another pull and I watch the way Chase rolls his bottom lip behind his top teeth, and I think to myself how gorgeous he is, in a ragged, Chase Keller way.
He offers over the cigarette, I tap away the ash at my side, and when he doesn’t reply, I keep my eyes on him, burning another line down my throat, rasping on a cloud of smoke, “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Chase’s throat dips. He drops his chin to his chest, and I can’t help but notice the way his tongue wets his lips. He turns away and there’s a tense silence between us before he fills it, “You know I can’t…” He pauses, corrects himself. “Won’t do that, Laiken.”
“Yes, you can, and will,” I counter, shrugging my shoulders, taking another hit from the cigarette. “Because you already did.”
Chase keeps his head between his shoulders, and sucks on his front teeth. “You have no idea what the fuck…” He doesn’t finish.
“So, tell me,” I whisper.
His eyes reach for mine, oscillating until sweat collects in my palms, and my stomach turns over itself.
He looks away, closes his eyes, then rubs his face. “Harlen bring you here?”
I nod and silence falls around us again. It’s as smooth as his diversion. I shift on my ass, feeling the chill in my kidneys.
Chase sits up straighter. “I saw you went through my shit,” he states, and my brows pinch before I realize what he’s talking about. Because he’d caught me red handed in one of his band tees this morning.
“Yeah, well, some asshole was rushing me to pack, I?—”
Chase intercepts, “You looked cute.”
I bite the inside of my lip, and feel my cheeks heat.
“You know, I once heard that cute means you’reugly but interesting.” I can’t help but grin, turning to meet Chase’s darkeyes. It was the first time in years that we had smiled at each other. I try not to let myself fall headfirst into the moment.
“Is that what you think of me, Chase Keller?” I whisper, peeking over my arm. “That I’m ugly but interesting?”
