I choose to give Harlen the truth. Well,a half-truth,which is more than I gave Chase. Licking my lips, I curl my hands into the fabric of my hoodie and nod.
I’d seen my mother load it enough times to know exactly how to make sure I didn’t blow my own head off. But Harlen didn’t need to know that, nor did he need to know that I hadn’t shot it before.
I knew enough, that was all that mattered.
Silence curls between us. I take my eyes to the sky when Harlen places a hand to my knee and squeezes it.
“Harlen,” I whisper.
He keeps his hand where it is, tightens his grip. “Yeah?”
“I’m so fucking scared,” I admit.
He lets go of his breath slowly. “You don’t need to be, okay. We have all?—”
I breathe. “Hesaid something to methat night.”
“Wh-what?”
I wet my lips, and my legs start to shake. “The thing is, he made a promise to me.”
His hand slips, he turns and looks straight at me. “What are you talking about, Laik?”
“Our time is coming, Laiken. Th-that’s what he said, before I ran.”
“Does he know?” he asks, and I can only assume he means Chase.
I shake my head. “Only you.”
Silence fills the gaps and space and hollowness between us.
It’s then that I turn to look at him, and ask, “Can you please keep it a secret?”
Harlen palms his face. “Fuck.” The word is air beneath his breath.
My teeth begin to chatter. “He’s not ready. I can’t tell him.”
A voice comes from behind us. “You’re right about that,” Rusty says.
I turn, watching him readjust his T-shirt on his broad shoulders when he asks, “The gun, you know how to?—”
I nod, but it’s not convincing enough, not to Rusty. He knows I’m withholding,lying,the way Harlen didn’t.
“You okay with him, Chase, teaching you?” he asks.
I nod again, even though I’m not sure what I’m okay with anymore; ifus,me and Chase, together, is even a safe combination.
“Good,” Rusty whispers, then asks, “You must be hungry?”
Harlen pushes up from the chair, and I quickly grab his arm. I couldn’t tell if he was upset, or disappointed in me for lying to him.
“I’m sorry, I just, I…” I drop my chin, only for him to pick it back up.
His fingers tremble.
He blinks.
He holds his eyes on mine. “There’s nothing you gotta be sorry about, Laik. You hear me?”
