More silence.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Laiken suck another stream of nicotine down the length of her throat. It tightens, clamping the release before she blows it out, flicking away the loose ash.
She doesn’t look at me when she says, “Don’t mistake me for weak, Chase.”
I take another pull, rasping, “I didn’t say you?—”
“I want to know something,” she cuts me off, and I turn to her, but she’s still staring ahead.
“Why is it that you walk back into my life just as something bad happens?”
I drop my chin, suck on my front teeth, because the truth is, I didn’t know how to tell her that I’d been watching her on the anniversary of Jade’s death every year, looking for evil,waitingfor it,ready to save her the way I couldn’t then, andneededto now.
Laiken’s head swivels so slowly toward me when I choose to keep that small truth to myself.
She throws the cigarette to the ground and stamps it out.
And I bite into my bottom lip, noticing that same dead look I saw register across her green eyes back in the clubhouse.
It’s a look I recognize because I’ve seen the same one settle across mine.
“Who gave you the right to choose when I would need you.” It’s a question, but Laiken poses it as a statement.
It heats me.
Words curl around my tongue, trapping themselves behind my teeth. I don’t move, I don't speak, I just take another hit.
She drops her chin and shakes her head, dragging the tip of her shoe across the loose orange rock.
She mistakes my silence for coldness.
“Screw you, Chase. You aren’t the guy I thought you were.” Her words are whispered with venom, and I nod, repeatedly.
Her anger is good. Her distaste toward me is even better.
She slices her gaze back to me, and I rest all of my weight on my shoulders, running my thumb across my bottom lip, pinching it, heat pulsing warmer in my bloodstream.
“Are you not going to?—”
I cut her off, unable to continue chewing on my words.
“No, Laiken, I’m not the guy you thought I was, and I told you that. You thought I was some good fucking dude, who could take away all your fucking pain because I was there for you when your father offed himself, when in our fucked-up reality we both know I’m just a…”
She takes one step and she’s right in front of me and before I can breathe or even register how close we are, her palm cracks across my cheek.
My head snaps to the side, and I keep it there, for a moment.
Do it again, I wanted to say,show me how you really feel.
I’m flexing the hit from my jaw when she spits her next words in my face, “Just a spineless piece of shit,” she says with permanency, then steps away, shaking out her hand. “Yes, that’s exactly what you…”
I quickly reach for her, but she shoves me right back.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” Then her palms are at my chest and she’s pushing me again. “You bastard.”
She hurls her anger at me with her hands, and I take it, bouncing off the metal behind me until I decide enough is enough. My hands reach out, clamping around her wrists.
I bring them down to her sides, dragging her closer, until the tip of our shoes touch.
