But right now, I have something much bigger to deal with–a betrayal of the cruelest kind.
My arms are wrapped around Harlen’s waist, the vibrations of his bike thick as we tilt around the last bend before the lake house. The wind is strong, the air crisp, matching the chill in my veins.
With the moon shining bright, its glow low over the black, sinister lake in the distance, I can barely look at it without feeling my bones shake. Though the need for revenge somehow throws a light blanket over my fear. It was the only strength I had to be able to swing my leg over Harlen’s bike back in LA, willing myself to return here.
Chase’s bike purrs closely behind us as we take the long driveway nestled among the emerald pine trees toward the house.
When we pull up, I spot Rusty’s Harley parked at the edge, along with a second. I’m assuming it’s Skinner’s, the person Harlen told Rusty to call. Chase's bike cuts before Harlen’s, and I think Harlen purposely keeps his rolling in an attempt to breathe through the emotions tearing through him.
There’s a pinch at my shoulder, and I turn to look at Chase, finding him at my side when Harlen cuts the engine.
Silence falls around us.
“You okay?” Chase asks. His face looks pained,for me.
I shrug, and when I attempt to climb off the bike, Harlen’s hand extends behind him, wrapping around my thigh in a vise grip.
“Don’t you fucking think about it,” he growls low in his throat.
Chase steps back and jerks his head toward the house. “I’ll see you guys in there.”
Harlen nods at him, then Chase turns around and disappears onto the deck.
Kicking off the bike and shoving a hand into the pocket of his leather cut, Harlen pulls out a cigarette and lights it up. He beats the tip of his boot into the rocks beneath him rhythmically, and I don’t move from the bike. The cherry glows bright as he takes a deep pull before exhaling with his words. “No one has ever hurt me the way you just fucking did, you know that.”
“Harl-” I wince, but he cuts me off from continuing.
“Stop, Cherry.”
I don’t speak again when he takes another hit from his cigarette, blowing a heavy stream out through his nose. He puffs on it until there’s nothing left, and when the only sound around us is a crow squawking in the distance, he takes three deep strides, directly for me.
I don’t recoil.
He grabs my hips and rotates me on the bike until my legs wrap instinctively around his waist. He wrenches me into him, my ass still on the seat, my hands fisting his white t-shirt desperately.
My heart stammers as his calloused palms find a place at the sides of my face. His thumbs softly caress my cheekbones, and I shiver, a deep set of goosebumps pearling over every one of my limbs.
It’s almost painful.
“I’m so sor-”
He cuts me off again.
“So, tell me, why the fuck I don’t hate you, why the fuck I don’t blame you for even thinking it. Why the fuck my heart still flutters when I touch you?”
I exhale. It’s deep and strained when he holds me tighter and says so quietly I barely hear it, “Why I still love you the same way I did before you fucking cut me open, Cherry?”
Time stands still.
My entire body turns rigid with guilt.
He loves me,and I did this.To us. I ruined us.
His lips are a feather over mine when he catches the tear that rolls over my top lip with his mouth. “I would never fucking hurt you, dammit, Cherry.” He shakes his head, his curls moving with the wind as he rolls his bottom lip beneath his teeth. “Remember what I told you-” he starts to say, swallowing hard before he continues, “Dying for your peace is my fucking end game.” He repeats the same words he said to me last night. “Do you understand me?”
More tears stream down my face, and he smooths them away. My teeth start to chatter, a deep shiver taking over my body.
I croak out the only words my heart tells me to. “Don’t die for my peace, Harlen. Live for it,so I can spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
