Cameryn and Tyler unknowingly carry the baggage ofHarlen’spresence. I shoved the impact of that away and made it a later problem when I decided to tell them back in Shadow Head’s what had happened to me because, honestly, I justneeded my friends. It wasn’t until after seeing Harlen a couple of nights ago, feeling his warm breath across my skin, those calloused hands at my waist, that I realized very quickly I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I’d be to experience his presence again.
I was suffocating, and the weight of seeing him, being around him, fuck, just breathing the same air as him, was heavier than the concrete blocks that had been tethered around my ankles.
I didn’t want to sink.
I didn’t want to be reminded of how it felt to choke on a torrent of deadly water.
I can’t willingly put myself in that position again, just for him to save me, plant flowers of hope in my chest, before cutting them off right at their weak stems.
Dropping my chest to the stage, I press my cheek onto the cool surface, then I close my weeping eyes, exhaling through a deep, shaky breath.
“Who was he?”
My head pops up when I hear Caleb’s deep voice. He moves across the room, weaving himself around furniture before hiking himself up onto the edge of the stage effortlessly. He squeezes my calf and drags me out of the splits toward him. I let my legs hang the way his are as he passes me a bottle of water.
“Thank you,” I whisper, unscrewing the cap and sculling back half. The plastic crinkles in my hands when I place it down next to me and wipe the back of my palm over my mouth.
“And one of these too,” he states, handing me a chocolate bar filled with caramel.
A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. “You know the way to my heart.”
He taps my arm with his lightly, smiling, then I rip back the wrapper and take a bite.
“So, who was he?” Caleb asks again.
I swallow my mouthful, turning to my side to find his deep greens already on me.
“He saved me,” I answer, placing the chocolate bar down beside me, the desire now long gone.
He drops his head between his shoulders, his dark curls hanging over his forehead. “From the lake?”
I nod, feeling my throat clench at the mention of it.
He keeps his eyes on me. “And what happened after that?”
My chin touches my chest when I inhale and then exhale ruggedly. “He turned his back on me.” I pop one of my knuckles, then I point my toes. “Just like I knew he would.”
“You have history, huh?” he asks, his hand finding my thigh and clenching it in comfort.
I lace my trembling fingers with his, sighing. “Yeah, I guess you could say we do.” My voice is raspy when I continue, “It was short, quick… A rockstar in the town of Shadow Heads.” I shake my head, tracing the lines of his hand with my pointer finger. “I knew he was Tyler’s bandmate, but that didn’t stop me. Maybe I found comfort in it. I mean, fuck.” I laugh. “I guess I did. I’m sick like that.”
Caleb wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. “You are not.” He rubs my tricep. “You are a human being who just wanted to bewanted.”
“How gross is that?” I smile up at him, then I drop my head again. “I told him to come back for me when he left town. The thought of him doing exactly that helped me through some of the toughest days when I was in…” I stop, exhaling a heavy breath.
Caleb squeezes my arm again. “You don’t have to talk about it. I know.” He nods his reassurance.
A tear rolls down my cheek. “I always knew he’d leave me eventually; I just never expected him to leave me like that.” As a sob vibrates through my chest, I flick my gaze to his. “Cay, I was barely holding on to my life, and he walked away.”
His jaw flexes, and I watch him grind his molars, his head reclining slightly when he inhales through what looks like fury before he locks his eyes back on mine. “He didn’t deserve you, Cherry.”
I squeeze my eyes closed when the truth streams down my cheeks. “I know.”
I cry into his chest, each harder than the next, then I peel myself away, wiping the beaded tears from my cheeks. “Last night I agreed to go to one of Cameryn’s shows, which he is most likely going to be at, but I just cancel–”
The creak of the front door clips my words, then Cameryn’s voice bounces off the walls.
I snatch up my phone frantically.
