I can’t fucking breathe.
Cold wind casts its way in when he rips the door open and bends down, his knees cracking with the movement. Familiar hands wrap around my knees as he angles my body toward him and squeezes me tightly.
Save me, Ty. Like you used to, the same way you always knew how.
“Talk to me, B. Fuck, talk to me.” His voice is hoarse, cracking with concern.
I watch his dark, almost black eyes, flick between mine, all over me, seeking any sign of a physical wound.
He has no idea.
He rips off his beanie and shoves it into his back pocket, flicking the dark strands of hair that hang over his forehead, kissing his long eyelashes, out of the way.
More cool wind caresses around the back of my neck, and when I glance over my shoulder, I see Cameryn sliding into the passenger seat and yanking the door closed. Her expression is stoic. It always is, but it’s in her deep, dark blue eyes that I see her worry.
She fists her beanie, yanking it off. Her messy, undone dirty blonde hair spills over her black leather jacket as she shoves the pieces that hang in front of her eyes behind both ears. The piercings that line the entire outside shell glisten when she drops her chin and shakes her head.
I know what she’s thinking.
She asked me if I was okay, and I lied to her,right through my fucking teeth.
She grabs my hand and threads her trembling, cold fingers between mine. And with her palms holding mine and Tyler’s rough ones at my knees, his calloused thumbs rubbing the bones slowly,I break completely.
Unwillingly and uncontrollably, I fall apart in my best friend's hands like years haven’t passed, phone calls were answered, and text messages were never ignored.
Tears fall at rapid speed down my cheeks and neck, my body shaking through its tumultuous tornado of trauma and terror and pure, unadulterated fear.
And when I get a pocket of air, the blades of lightning softening, I get angry.
Furious.
At him.
I drop my hand from Cameryn’s and shove Tyler off me. He takes the blow to his chest without any movement.It’s like he knew it was coming.
He nods resolutely, his top teeth biting into his bottom lip, and before I can think better of it, I slap him so hard across the face his head whips to the side.
He stays like that for a few moments, staring at the dirt beneath his boots, silence enveloping us as he flexes his jaw. He exhales sharply, only he doesn’t turn back to look at me.
Goddamn coward.
“You fucking cut me off. You cut me off, Tyler. You fucking left me.” My words are slurred through a jumbled mess of sobs as I growl them into his face.
He doesn’t so much as flinch, so I slap him again, and again, and then, I throw fists, and before I know what’s happening, my wrists are pulled into muscle and my forehead collides with his hard chest. His hand is at the nape of my neck, his fingers sinking into my skull as he cradles me against him. My breath falls to his,my best friend’s, the one person who I thought would never leave me.
He inhales deeply, mumbling “fuck” repeatedly under his breath, each becoming louder as his chest vibrates with rattled exhales.
“What I did to you kills me every day, B.” His voice is gruff and pained, and when I look up, I watch the prick of tears well in his inky eyes.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen my best friend cry, and it completely breaks me. He is the tough one, the one who holds us together. I turn over my shoulder and find Cameryn’s head reclined against the headrest, her knees pulled tightly to her chest as she holds on to herself, staring right out the front window in an off-kilter stupor.
The back of her head rotates across the leather seat, dropping to the side, her foggy eyes connecting with mine.
She sucks her bottom lip back into her mouth. “I knew something was wrong. I fucking knew it.” Cameryn breathes her words out so quietly, biting into her bottom lip, drawing a bead of blood, then she yells, “Fuck!”
If I know my best friend well enough, she is blaming herself right now,and that kills me all over again.
Ty pulls back and clears his throat, bringing his forearm to his eyes where he rubs them over his black hoodie, leaving a wake of wet tears across the cotton.
