Why did she meet the hands of death?
And why did I get to live?
Iron coats my throat, my tongue thick, yet I continue to scream, digging my nails into the scalp at the top of my head.
“No, no, god, no, why, why her!”
I cry for the girl who held my hand, cradled my wounds, and reminded me of my strength when I truly believed I had none.
The girl who was braver than I could have ever been.
I’m on my knees, my body convulsing. All I ever wanted, fucking prayed for, was for Laney to find the same freedom I now had.
My head falls backwards, my searing eyes popping open and connecting with the mirrored ceiling, and as I stare at the girl bleeding on the stage, I only seeher.Her broken body lying on the cold, crimson-stained concrete floor, her emerald green eyes connecting with mine as we fought.
For.
Our.
Fucking.
Lives.
The ghostly sound of her haunted pleading falls silent, and all I hear is a quiet, quivering whisper in its place, filled with the touch of a smile.“I’m free, Blaine. I can finally breathe.”
One Week Later
Returning to Shadow Heads was always going to be dangerous.
But attending Laney’s funeral was me playing with my own fatality.
And I didn’t care.
I know Laney would be mad at me for coming back. She would beg me to stay away, to live in my peace,my freedom. Only, Laney is the reason I’m still here today. She saved me when breathing became an option, not a necessity.
So, today, I will be there when they bury my friend.
The triangle will not take that from me, too.
It was day three.
The limbs attached to me were weightless, the body I harbored mauled, no longermine.
Laney had been in and out of sleep beside me for hours, and I was in some kind of trance as I continued to slam my head against the concrete wall behind me. Each hit felt harder, andwith every blow came a numbness that I liked, a freedom that felt…possible.
I continued to slam my head against the wall, making sure to aim the impact at my temple.
I was becoming weak.
My eyes were closed and there was a distant sound of clinking chains, though it sounded far away.
I could see the end.
This was perfect.
This was freedom.
This was peace.
