I drop my chin when my phone buzzes in my hand. Flipping it over, I find Cameryn trying to video call me. I haven’t returned her calls for a good two weeks, merely replying to her text messages, and I’ve noticed over the past month that she’s become more overtly aware of me avoiding her. She’s texting me more often, and that’s not like Cam. I think she can feel meslipping away.
Buthow do you continue a friendship with someone who is involved with two people who hurt you so badly?
The thought passes through my head as I watch the screen clear, and a message follows. I don’t want to lose what we had, but sometimes, I think it’s already gone, and that fucking kills me to admit. She’s living her life, and I’m just trying to make something of mine.
I don’t love her any less; the problem is that I love her too hard. And love, hope, and the way I cling to people have fucked me too many times in the past.I’m not the same girl I used to be.I will not allow myself to fall back into old habits of needing someone to simply breathe. I’ve come too far.
My phone vibrates again, and when I swipe it open, I feel my heart take a subtle leap.
Cameryn
You can tell me to fuck off if you think this is out of line, but I feel you distancing yourself, B. Can you tell me if I did something wrong so I can fix it? I know it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and people change, friendships fizzle, but you are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I don’t want to lose you, Cherry. Kinda need you, fuck.
A tear graces my cheek, rolling down between my lips, and I laugh under my breath at the “fuck” at the end of her message. And before I can even think of how to reply, I thumb the screen.
Me
One sec, I’m calling you.
Cameryn
Thank fuck.
I lift my eyes and see Caleb’s broad shoulders sitting high near his ears, his open palms planted on top of the silver countertop beneath them. His black button-up shirt stretches tight over the hard muscles of his chest. The thin linen pushed up to his elbows exposes thick veins that cascade down his tanned forearms. His black curls whisper over his forehead and tickle the tips of his ears and he always has one chrome earring in his right ear. Today’s is a hanging dagger.
He jerks his pointed jaw upwards and flicks his head. “Get your ass over here, Cherry, and eat some food.”
I clench the phone in my hand, and it trembles as I step backward toward the curtain, raising my open palm to Caleb. “Just give me five minutes. I have to make a quick call.”
He nods, then I spin around, shoving through the curtains and returning to the backroom.
I don’t video call, but I do call her. It only rings once before I hear her raspy voice for the first time in months, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
“Well, I’ll give you one thing, Cherry. You are fucking good at edging people.”
I choke on my laugh, pulling myself up onto my dressing table. My feet find a place at the black stool in front of it. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I place my thumbnail between my teeth and chew on it. “Don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” I whisper.
“I’d love it more if I wasn’t worrying about you,” she states matter-of-factly.
I bite a little harder. “That’s not like you.”
“Tell me about it.” She coughs, then I hear a door closing on her end. “What have you been up to?” Wind whooshes through the speaker.
Cameryn’s good at hiding her curiosity usually, but I hear it today.It’s fucking loud,just like the breeze.
“Dancing…a lot,” I reply, and I mean, it’s not a lie. It’s probably just not to the capacity she realizes and that’s okay. We all have secrets. I’m allowed to keep mine.
“Nice.” She pauses, then asks, “You gave any thought to moving out here?”
“Nope,” I reply, probably a little too quickly.
I’m already here, bestie.
She exhales down the line, and at the sound, I can see her head tilted back, her dirty blonde hair flowing over her shoulders as she blows a cloud of nicotine above her. That girl used to smoke like a chimney. I can’t imagine much has changed, especially with the life she lives.
“You know Tyler asks about you.” She breathes with another slow exhale, and goosebumps pearl their way across my limbs.
I chuckle, but it’s a sad, vengeful sound. “Yeah, maybe you should tell him to find his fucking balls and call me.”
