“And our girls?” I add. “They’re not ready, At least mine isn’t,” I say, and Kade chuckles.
“Mine isn’t either.”
“Same, we need to keep an eye out,” Elliot states, and I nod as if he can see me. I know what he means though. It’s not to protect them. Or help. Just to watch.
“Trust me I am,” I say, then pull the phone away from my ear and end the call. Leaving my room again, I go back outside and light up another prerolled. The cold air hits harder now, making me feel alive as I look towards the treeline. In twenty-four hours, we will be out there, but a faint sound ofcrying deep in the wood interrupts my thoughts, then it stops. I take a hit off the prerolled, and as I exhale, there it is again. Like a memory trying to breathe. My jaw tightens, but then I smirk, because whatever is coming back or someone is trying to drag out, I’m not going to lose control. They are. Let them dig. Let them remember. Let it all come back ugly and wrong. Friday is coming and whatever started back then—it’s about to collide with something new… something far more worse.
forty
Rowyn Hale
The Clearing
I woke up feeling like I was hit by a mack truck but I made it to the salon in one piece. It smells like chemicals and fake calm. Like if they softened the air enough you won’t notice what’s been taken from you. I stare at myself in the mirror as the stylist steps back.
“There,” she says gently. “It’s even now.” Even. That word doesn’t belong to me anymore. My hair falls just past my shoulder. Clean blunt. Fixed. But it doesn’t feel like mine. Nothing does.
“Thank you,” I say quietly. I continue to stare at the girl in the mirror. She still looks wrong, not because of the hair, because of the eyes. Too sharp, too aware, like something behind them woke up and hasn’t gone back to sleep.
The drive back to campus feels longer than usual. The Uber driver tries to make small talk but I just don’t have the energy. I don’t want to go back. Not to the room. Not in front of all those people. I just want to disappear. But I don’t have a choice. Where else would I go? Campus still feels empty. Dead and quiet. The kind of quiet that presses in on your ears until you start hearing things that aren’t there. My footsteps echo too loud as I walk down the hallway, still dreading going back to my room. I push it open and the room greets me with silence. No movements, no shadows shifting, no sign that anyone has been here. I let out a breath. Thank fucking god. But then I see it—that black envelope just sitting on top of my desk like it’s been there the entire time. My breathing catches and my pulse quickens. I step closer as my fingers tremble then I pick it up. My name written on the front just like before. I rip it open and pull out the folded paper inside. Opening, it my heart stops. My father’s handwriting. Dead. Gone. Buried, but yet—I hold this letter as tears blur my vision. I quickly swipe them away, as I read the words before me.
My dearest Rowrow.
I know you are probably wondering how I got this to you if I’m dead, but I need you to just listen before worrying about all that. I need you to stay away from those boys. Elliot Jacobs, Kade Langley, and GraysonMercer. Tonight is Initiation Night, and I need you to find a way out of there. Please trust me when I tell you this. That school is not safe. Not now at least. Not until you know who you truly are and what your birth name holds. I’m sorry, my sweet child. There’s a lot that you don’t know, that I kept from you. I can’t write the regretful truths inside this letter. If you go out to the woods, in the clearing you will see a black flag on the west end. There’s another letter there. Once you read it, BURN IT. Don't let anyone else ever see it. It could cost you your life. I love you, and I promise there are more answers to come. Now burn this and go before it’s too late.
Love always, your father,
Nathaniel
I fall to my knees as tears pour down my face.What? Does this mean my father is alive? All this time he’s been alive and well while I struggled to survive?My mind whirls and my heart slams violently against my ribs. This isn’t real. I don’t know what to think or how to feel.What the fuck is happening? Initiation? What the fuck is that? The school isn’t safe? I need to stay away from the guys?There’s so many questions, and I’m not sure what the fuck to do. I grab my phone and look at the time. I have less than an hour to get out to the woods before the sun sets. What the fuck is happening right now?
I rummage through my desk drawer for a lighter and leave my room, bringing the letter into the bathroom. After checking all the stalls to make sure no one is in here, I quickly light it, watching the flames lick up the thick paper turning it into ash, and once it's out, I turn on the tap and watch it all go down the drain.
Shoving the lighter into my pocket, I go back to my room, grab a hoodie, and throw it over my head, then leave for the woods.Hopefully I don’t run into anyone along the way because I am running out of fucking time. Lifting the hood to mask my face, I walk through the halls and out the exit doors, heading down the path leading into the woods. My hands shake and my legs burn from how fast I made it into the forest. “Go to the clearing and there’s a flag on the west side.”My breathing is ragged and my hands begin to sweat the closer I get to the clearing. So many fucking questions are whirling through my mind as my heart rate begins to pick up.Please don’t panic. I need to find this next letter and read it before you make me black out from all the stress. Just a few more fucking minutes.
“I shouldn’t be here,” I whisper, but I don’t stop. I break through the trees and freeze. The clearing sits exactly how it does in my dreams. Still. Waiting. Like it remembers me. My chest tightens painfully as the wind picks up, sending leaves toscatter around my ankles. I shiver the closer I get to the flag. Bending over I see another black envelope under the leaves and I pick it up, ripping it open.
My dearest Rowrow.
There’s an address at the bottom of this letter. That’s where you need to go once you’ve burned this. Leave all your belongings here. It will be okay, I promise. I just need you away from there tonight. Initiation is for the chosen ones, and those boys chose you. This cannot happen. You are a Mercer, Rowyn. You can never be a chosen one, because of who I am. You are a descendant of me. You are to choose a person, but never be chosen. Grayson is not your brother either. It’s a long story and I will explain once you leave there. Now that you know who you are, burn this and remember the address. I’ll see you soon.
Love always, your father,
Nathaniel Mercer.
My breath stutters. Mercer. The name hits something deep. Something buried. My head snaps up. “No…” The words barely come out. My chest tightens. Chosen. Initiation Night. Friday. The pieces start shifting. Too fast, too much. My hands tremble as the paper shakes in my grip. I reread the words but they only hit harder now, then everything else. My mind whirls and my vision blurs.
Flashes of me running through the woods play on repeat along with the taunts from Grayson andKade as they chase me, then hands pushing me off the cliff. The sky spins and all I can think of is they lied. They all lied to me. They tried to kill me, and I’m a fucking Mercer. My stomach flips and my body becomes really hot. I take off my sweatshirt and try to breathe, but I can’t. Bile burns in my throat as I bend over and vomit all over the snow. The ground spins as I fall to my knees, and I notice the sun begins to set, and I hear boots crunching the leaves. Please no. I just want to get to my dad.Rowyn, get up, but I can’t.Everything floods my mind. The bullying. The games. The way they look at me. Not random, not new. Calculated.
My pulse rises as the clearing begins to shift, closing in on me. What if what the letter says is true? What if everything I’m remembering is real? Then the boys? They’re not the danger I thought they were. They’re worse. I try to get to my feet but I fall face first into the dirt, missing my own vomit by sheer luck.
I groan and roll over as darkness floods my vision and I have no more air left to breathe.
forty-one
Grayson Mercer
Initiation Night
