“Yep, Candace is the best,” she says, and I nod, wishing I had someone to rely on but I don’t, so I just unpack my stuff and try to think about the future rather than the past. I need this year to be life changing in the most positive way it can be. This is the year I persevere and grow into the woman I want to be.
Two hours later we are sitting in Orientation. We both took way too long to get settled and lost track of time. Thankfully, Misti had set an alarm letting us know when it was almost time to be here.
Droves of students pile into the huge auditorium and I just take it all in. It’s a little overwhelmingbut I take a deep breath and try to center myself when Misti nudges my arm.
“See those guys down there?” she asks, nodding to the three boys sitting next to the podium with letterman jackets on.
“Yeah, they’re hot. Jesus,” I state, and she giggles.
“I know, but if one of them notices you, keep your head down,” she tells me, and my head snaps to her.
“Why? Or better yet—from which one?” I ask, because what the fuck?
“Doesn’t matter, they talk. Look at the one with dark hair, that’s Grayson Mercer, football captain. He rules the school. Anything he says goes. The other one with the broody face—that’s Elliot Jacobs, baseball pitcher. He’s nice but don’t let his charm fool you.” She laughs as I look down at the three.
“And the last one?” I ask.
“That’s Kade Langley, hockey captain, and the scariest of them all. I can’t stand him.”
“They seem pretty harmless from up here. Have you had a run in with them?” I ask, but she shakes her head. I don’t want to tell her that I already have. We’ve only just met and I don’t know her well enough to tell her my secrets.
“Not exactly but I’ve heard stories,” she whispers, and I lean in because I’ve got to know. I’mtoo nosey not to know what these stories are. “Ok, so rumor has it, years ago a girl tried to report a Lockridge captain and the report disappeared, the girl transferred mid-semester, which is something unheard of, and the captain went pro. Apparently, the problem was handledinternally,” she states, air quoting internally, and my eyes widen.
“So the jocks get away with what they want?”
“Yep, this is an athletes first university. They have generous donors, national titles, and alumni in high places. The teams are everything to this university. Do our grades and tuition matter? Of course they do. But them,” she nods down to the three boys, “They matter more. So…” She trails off as I stare at the three gods. “Stay away from them and don’t get on their radar,” she warns as Elliot’s eyes lock with mine. I gasp when he smirks and immediately look anywhere else as my cheeks redden for getting caught.
“Anything else I need to know about them?” I ask, and she giggles.
“Last thing, and the most important of all…” She trails off again, distracted by more people coming to sit around us, so I nudge her and she looks at me. “Oh right, sorry. I’m easily distracted. Okay, so each year the senior captains choose someone to test the system, whatever the hell that means. But they don’t do it together, and if the person they choose breaks quietly, then Lockridge knows the balance of power still holds.”
“Well that is a little crazy. How would we know if we are chosen? Not that I want to be, but what do I need to look out for?” I ask, but she shrugs.
“Candace told me you never know if you are chosen. We never really know the underlying meaning of it all because we know our place here. All the jocks are dicks, so there’s no way of knowing,” she says, and I nod as the headmaster taps the mic, silencing the auditorium. I sit in my seat trying hard to pay attention to what is being said; however, I can’t help but look at the boys sitting there talking amongst themselves. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to them but I can’t seem to look away. All the information Misti spilled intrigues me. I want to know more, but at the same time, I’m afraid, because why would any of them speak to me? I’m a big girl with rolls. They can have any girl they want. Me though? I would repulse them because of my size.
Why would guys like that want to come near an ugly, fat duckling like me? They wouldn’t. Not ever. Boys never bothered with me, and the ones that did were drunk at parties. Once they got in my pants, they would make fun of me the next day or act like it never happened to begin with. I guess that’s what happens when a girl says no to sex. It had gottenso bad that I started cutting myself to relieve the pain. Boys would use me, and all I wanted was to be loved which got me nowhere. Hence why I never gave it up to any of them. I was so naive and believed everything they would say to me just for them to lie and accuse me of making it up, because again, why would they want a fat, ugly girl like me? It hurts—it hurts so god damn bad that I have no one to want me, love me, or just be there for me. I’m all alone but attending Lockridge University—it’s my new beginning. No more being afraid.
The old Rowyn is gone. It’s time for the new Rowyn Hale to spread her wings and fly.
two
Grayson Mercer
The Chosen
While the headmaster drones on, all I can think about is the girl who slammed into me earlier. The way her plump lips trembled with fear and how her eyes twitched and brows furrowed when I called her Chunkers. She’s lucky I didn’t take it further than that, but I’m dying to know her name. I scan the crowd wondering if she's a freshman or not.How I fucking love fresh meat.There’s so many people in this auditorium I’m never going to be able to find her. Kade and his shaking knee is beginning to aggravate my soul. I place my hand on it, and his brow raises.
“What is your problem? You’re driving me nuts!” I spit, and he rolls his eyes.
“Nothing, I just want to get out of here already and submit the girl I’ve chosen.”He grins, and my eyes widen for a split second, then I school my features.
“Care to share?” I wink, and he rolls his eyes again. One day I’m going to scoop them out with a rusty spoon and shove them up his fucking ass.
“You know the rules, Mercer. Mums the word,” he states, zipping his lips and throwing away the key. He’s so childish it grates on my nerves. Sometimes I don’t know how the hell I’m friends with him, but our families’ connection runs so much deeper than what the public knows. It’s something we rarely speak about, especially around those we cannot trust.
“Have you found yours yet?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts, and I shrug.
“There’s plenty of options. I have until midnight to submit. So, I’m taking my time,” I tell him, and he nods.
