His eyes slowly search mine. His face is flush and his chest rises and falls with every shallow, ragged breath that slips from him. “Not tonight.”
My stomach sinks and embarrassment heats my neck. “Why not?”
What did I do wrong?
His throat bobs. “I don’t want you to regret it.”
Words fail me for a second as I’m caught off guard. “Wha?—”
He shakes his head. “We’re caught up in the moment. You know what I want, obviously,” he murmurs, his cock throbbing against me. “I need you to make the decision with a clear head.”
I stare at him for a moment. My eyebrows cinch together. What the hell is he talking about? He’s supposed to be a fuck boy. This kind of thing is supposed to be exactly what he likes.
“You want me to take some time and think about whether or not I actually want to sleep with you before I do it?”
“Yes,” he says without hesitation, dipping his chin. “If we fuck, there’s no going back to just this, Sunny. You’re under my skin. You’re in my fucking head. I’ve had a taste of you and once I get to devour you, I can’t promise it won’t change things between us.”
My throat constricts. “Change things in what way?”
A smirk tugs on his lips. “In the way that I can’t be around you without wanting to be inside you.”
“What if the sex sucks?”
The smirk slowly fades from his face. His eyes burrow holes into my soul. “I’m afraid of the opposite.”
“We never said we couldn’t be friends with benefits, you know,” I remind him, pushing my fingers through his hair along the nape of his neck. “It doesn’t come with strings.”
“I don’t like strings,” he says in a hushed voice as he drags his thumb across my bottom lip. “I don’t want you to get attachedbecause I can’t give you any more than that. I told you, I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love.”
A chuckle sounds in my throat. “I never said I wanted any of that with you, Matteo. You’re not my type.”
He lifts a brow. “The way your body responds to me tells me otherwise.”
“I’ve been abstinent for the last year. My body’s desperate for any kind of touch.” A slow smile drifts across my lips. “Maybe Harry would be up to being more than just neighbors…”
“Don’t test me, Jade.” Matteo pushes his thumb past my lips, pressing it into my mouth. I close my lips around it, cradling his thumb with my tongue as I suck on it. He moans, his eyes dark as he grips my jaw with his fingers. “If you want someone to touch you, someone to make you feel good, you call me. Not your fucking neighbor. Not anyone else.”
He pulls his thumb from my mouth.
“Does that mean you’ll fuck me tonight?”
He holds my face, tipping my chin up as his mouth lowers to mine. “No,” he groans against my lips. “This is all you get tonight.”
“Not fair,” I pout, not kissing him back at first.
“Life’s not fair, Sunny.” He nips at my lips. “Get used to it.”
His tongue pushes back into my mouth, tangling with mine as he threads his fingers in my hair and drains the oxygen from my lungs. I don’t need Matteo Ford to protect me from any regret. There’s nothing about anything with him that I could possibly regret—even if it can never be more than this.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MATTEO
“She had a freckle in her right eye, hidden amongst the shimmering hues of gold and green.” - Julian Hart, Painted Inferno
It’s been four days since I last saw Jade.
“When can I see you again?”
