I drag a hand down my face. “What the hell are you talking about, Sunny? You are not another name on my list.”
“You just like the chase,” she says, her voice monotone as if the words are rehearsed. “As soon as things start to feel real, you bail.”
My breath catches. “You think I’m going to bail? You think I fucked you and that was enough for me?” My chest expands. “Sunny baby,” I murmur, reaching for her. She doesn’t stop me as I cup the side of her face. Instead, she leans into me, her eyes falling shut. “I don’t think that was ever going to be enough.”
Her eyelids flutter open and they grow wide as she stares back at me. “What?”
“I’m fucked,” I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what we’re doing. All I know is I don’t want to keep pretending that I don’t want this with you.”
I can’t say the words. If I speak them out loud, that makes them real. And once they’re out in the open, there’s no way I can take them back.
She stares back at me, gazing directly into my soul. That’s where she resides now. There was me before her and this is me after. I’ll never be the same, not when I know that my heart belongs to her.
“What are you saying?” she whispers, her eyes slowly searching mine.
“I broke the one rule we had.” I give her an apologetic smile. Her nostrils flare. “I caught feelings.”
“I—” She pauses, the words failing on her lips. “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Matteo.”
I tilt my head, giving it a swift shake as I purse my lips. “Why do you think I don’t mean it? Why would I say it to you if I didn’t?”
She rolls her lips between her teeth. “There was a group of women at the bar tonight.” She swallows audibly. “I overheard them talking about you.”
I inhale deeply, straightening my head as I close my eyes for a second. “What were they saying?”
“How you’re such a player. How you’re with different women all the time.” She lets out a sigh. “One of them saw us at the charity gala and said I’ll be gone in a week.”
Anger pricks my skin. “Who were these women?”
Jade shrugs. “Fans, I guess.”
I lift my other hand to cup both sides of her face, shoving away the anger that flicks at my veins. “Jade. They were complete strangers. Delusional women. They don’t know me, or you, orus.” I pause, the muscle in my jaw tightening. “I know I have a track record that doesn’t look good, but things are different with you. I swear to fucking god, it’s never been like this with anyone else.”
She’s silent for a second. “But what if you get bored? What if you decide you want someone different? Something new and exciting.”
My heart sinks at her words. “Oh, Sunny baby,” I murmur, shaking my head at her. “I’ll never want anyone different. Out of all the people on this planet, you’re the one who’s got my heart.”
Tears well in her eyes and a shallow breath escapes her lips. “Matteo…”
She deserves to know the truth, even if it leaves me completely exposed.
“I’m in love with you, Sunny.” I let out a soft laugh, in disbelief that I just spoke those goddamn words. “And that’s something I’ll never be sorry for.”
Her lips part as if she’s going to say something, but instead, she closes the space between us, leaning over the center console and her lips find mine.
She kisses me with tenderness that used to feel safe, but now almost feels as if she’s saying goodbye. Her lips move with mine, sweet and slow, before we break apart.
“I don’t trust easily,” I whisper, leaning my forehead against hers as my eyes close. “My parents… they had a rough start. I was unplanned and unexpected. My mom couldn’t reach my father after discovering she was pregnant. We went five years without him knowing.” I pause, letting out a sigh. “I blamed my mom for a long time.”
“They’re together now, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, my voice still quiet. “They’ve been together since I was five and they’re still so in love. So much that I almost thought it was all a façade, like my father was constantly trying to make up for lost time.” I swallow over the lump lodged in my throat. “I didn’t understand it until you.”
She inhales sharply, her eyes flashing to mine as she pulls away. She searches my face, as if she’s searching for some hidden lie. A hidden agenda I’m not sharing with her.
Guess I’m not the only one afraid to let someone in.
My chest constricts as the silence wraps around us. I can’t force her to say anything. Hell, I don’t even know what I’d want her to say. I can see the hesitation in her expression. The things those women said are still in the back of her mind.
