Meredith is right. I can do this. This isn’t my first time writing a book. I’ve done it time and time again. I’ve experienced writer’s block before, it just never felt quite this bad. Like I am stuck in quicksand, every movement sucking me deeper into the suffocating depths.
Taking time off wasn’t unheard of. Authors did it all the time. However, my situation is a bit different. After having a few successful series with the same publisher, they asked me for something new, something fresh. I didn’t have to go through the pits of writing a pitch and having Meredith take it onto submission with other publishers, hoping one would want to buy it.
They wanted me.
They wanted anything written by me.
Too bad I can’t fucking write anymore.
With a huff, I sit upright in my chair.
You’re a bad bitch, Jade Wilson. Get your head out of your ass.
Enough of wallowing in my self pity and despair. Meredith telling me to trash the ideas I’d been struggling to write is a welcomed relief. I can’t write something I’m not feeling. Perhaps, I need something fresh. Something new.
Something exciting.
I put my feet flat on the floor, abruptly standing up from my desk. I’m not going to find the idea sitting here inside my apartment. Sometimes the muse will drift in through an openwindow and wrap itself around me like a cloak of the finest silks. Other times, I have to go out and find it.
And this particular time, I just might find it where I least expect to.
“Don’t hate me, but I can’t stay long.” Nicole glances at me, tossing an apologetic smile in my direction. “Like I have to grab my drink and go.”
Nicole and I met our freshman year of college and have been best friends ever since. We shared a dorm throughout our undergrad years and had an apartment together for two years after we graduated. When her longterm boyfriend Ben proposed to her, we both moved into different places. Now, she and her husband live a few blocks away.
Although, not for long. Ben got a promotion, which has them moving to New York in two months.
“Where are you running off to?”
“I have an unexpected meeting with the superintendent.” She sighs and rolls her eyes. Nicole works for the local school district as a school counselor.
“Are we still going out next Friday night?” I ask, stepping to the side and pulling open the door for a couple walking out of the coffee shop.
Nicole glances at me and walks inside as I motion for her to go ahead. “Yeah. Eight o’clock, right?”
We are meeting some friends from college to go out for the night. Ben is our designated driver, although in the city, most places are walkable.
“Yeah,” I nod as the door closes behind us and we head over to the counter. Usually I come here during off times, when therearen't as many people. Today, it’s pretty busy. Nicole walks over to one of the tablets to put in her order. “Do you know what you want?”
I shake my head, grabbing a menu from the basket on the counter. “Go ahead and order, since you need to run. I might try something new.”
“Ooo, who are you today, Miss Wilson?” She winks with mischief dancing in her eyes. “Or should I say Candy Stone?”
I scrunch up my face, blowing out a breath before laughing. Nicole and I had the worst fake IDs in college. Her name was a little more believable. Mine sounded more like a stripper name than a legal one.
Those names became our alter-egos when we needed to be bad bitches. It’s like a false sense of confidence comes out when I pretend to embody her persona.
“I wish I were her right now,” I say with a sigh, my chest deflating as I glance down at the menu. Nicole knows I’ve been struggling creatively, although she doesn’t know how bad it’s gotten.
Hell, I didn’t fully realize how bad it was until thirty minutes ago during my call with Meredith.
“What’s goin’ on, babe?” Nicole says softly as she finishes her drink order and pays. She turns back to me. “Is work stuff still stressing you out?”
I purse my lips, slowly nodding. “Yeah. It’s uh—not good. I need a story or something that my agent can bring to my editor.”
Nicole frowns. “You need something to inspire you. I feel like you’ve just been running yourself ragged trying to pull some kind of inspiration from within.”
“Excuse me.”
