Silence. That’s all I get. It stretches between us and I have no choice but to lift my head and turn to look at him.
“Wait, what?” He looks confused and scratches the side of his head. “You were just saying last week how she isn’t your girlfriend, but now you’re in love with her?”
I blow out a breath, dragging my hand down my face. “I know, man. I fucking know.”
His brow furrows. “When the hell did this happen?”
“Overnight.” I shake my head. “I don’t even know. I’d been ignoring my feelings for her for weeks now. It’s like I just woke up. Something clicked inside my head and it’s just what it is.”
He stares at me in disbelief. “Hell must be freezing over.” He cracks a smile. “I never thought I’d see the day that Matty Ford is in love.” He looks past me. “You owe me a hundred bucks.”
“No way,” Cross says back to him, laughter following his words. “No way.”
I look between the two of them. “You guys had a bet going?”
Cross nods, grinning. “Theo said you’d be head over heels before the end of the season.”
“Cross said by the summer,” Theo chimes in.
I scoff, shaking my head at them. “Was anyone else in on this?”
“No,” Cross says with a sigh. “Thank God. I’m not paying anyone else because of this.”
Cross turns back to his stall and Theo looks at me again. “So,” he says carefully. “How did she take it?”
I drop my gaze back down to my skates, sucking my teeth before looking back at him. “She said she needs some time to process.”
He winces, a frown pulling on his lips. “Shit.” He blows out a breath, slowly nodding his head as he secures the velcro on his chest protector. “Do you think you scared her?”
“I think so.” I suck in a deep breath, slowly exhaling it as I bend forward and tie my laces. “I don’t think she was expecting it. Hell… I wasn’t either.”
Theo straps on his elbow pads and grabs his jersey, shrugging it on while I move onto the next piece of my gear. I’m finally dressed from the waist down, so it’s at least a start.
A lot of the guys are already dressed, their chatter carrying with them as they funnel out of the locker room.
“You don’t really have the best track record,” Theo starts, shrugging his shoulders as he grabs his helmet. “I can see why she’d be a little afraid of it.”
“I’m not going to hurt her,” I say without hesitation, shrugging my shoulders and tossing my hands out in front of me, like it’s a given. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. I just—I don’t know how to get her to believe me.”
Theo chews on the inside of his cheek for a second, his eyes drifting off as if he’s deep in thought. “You just have to give her the time and the space. Don’t disappear. Don’t take off like you normally do. Just be consistent. Committed.”
I swallow hard, strapping my last elbow pad. “What if she’s just looking for a way out?”
“You mean if she’s trying to pull an old fashioned Matty Ford move?” He chuckles and pats my shoulder. “You’re panicking, bud. If she wanted a way out, she’d just walk now.”
His words settle around me like a cloak of security. He’s right. There’s no reason why she would need the time if there was no point to it in the end. There’s nothing tethering the two of us together. There’s no reason for her to hang around if it’s not something she truly needs to process.
Theo pulls on his helmet as one of the coaches blows his whistle in the distance. “Come on. You can spiral after we get off the ice.”
I pull on my jersey, quickly standing up as I slip my helmet onto my head, my hands in my gloves, and grab my stick. Theo waits for me, even though he knows there’s a chance we’ll both end up having to practice without pucks if we’re late.
The guys are still skating around, warming up their legs while the coaches are standing in a circle in the center of the rink. The cold air hits my lungs as soon as our blades bite into the ice.
No one acknowledges Theo and me being two minutes later than everyone else. No one says anything and practice commences as normal. My lungs are tight and my movements are a bit stiff. It’s like I can’t get my legs under me, no matter how hard I try.
I’m not even thinking about Jade at this point, although I think it’s just the lingering uncertainty after last night. It has me all kinds of fucked up.
We end up in a half ice scrimmage toward the end of practice and I miss a pass that I shouldn’t have missed. My stick wasn’t on the ice and my head was too far up my ass at this point.
