He makes me feel seen, he makes me feel heard. It’s like the things I say matter. My dreams are real and attainable. His support is unwavering and it’s something I can see me losing myself in.
Cole Wild slipped between my ribs and burrowed deep inside my heart. He’s the light in the darkness. The salve that soothed my wounds. He helped me find myself–my voice–and helped to piece me back together.
He breathed life back into me.
And I know with him, it’s okay to fall, because I can trust him to catch me.
Chloe abandons my leg and instead sandwiches herself between Cole and I, wrapping her arms around both of our legs.
I watch as Cole’s other hand reaches down to her head and Chloe looks up at him, smiling brightly. I've never felt this contentment before, but it's everything I wished for.
This peace, this happiness...
It's a sanctuary I've never experienced until now.
We're safe.
After seeing Wyatt off, I get Chloe tucked away in bed and find Cole sitting on the couch flicking through the channels on the TV as he waits for me. When he sees me enter the room, he pauses, his eyes meeting mine in a rush. I let out a sigh, exhaustion mixed with relief and sit down next to him.
“What did my brother say to you?” I question him after a moment passes between us.
Cole turns to look at me, a smile drifting across his face. “He’s okay with this, El. I promise you, there’s nothin’ to worry about.” Cole hands me the remote. “I don’t know what to put on TV. I don’t watch it much.”
Relief floods me and I take the remote. Instead of finding something, I toss it onto the couch behind me and climb onto his lap. His eyes widen as I settle on him, my hands finding the sides of his face. I stare into the blue depths of his shimmering irises.
“You know, when we were younger, I had a huge crush on you. But when I saw you again, I wanted nothing to do with you,” I start, my voice quiet as he stares back at me with that intense look that tangles itself around my soul. “After Jacob, I didn't want a relationship. I swore I would never put myself in a vulnerable position again. He may not have broken my heart in the typical sense, but he still left me damaged. I became dependent on him and in our relationship, I felt powerless. Hechanged my life for the worst and I swore I would never do it again. I never wanted Chloe to think something like that was normal.”
Cole doesn't say anything, he's patient and kind as he waits for me to continue.
“When we started to talk and the seed of our friendship was planted, I knew it would never remain like that. I tried to keep you out of my heart. I tried to keep my guard in place and resist the feelings that were slowly chipping my walls away.” I pause, tears pricking the corners of my eyes and I stare down at the man who holds my entire heart in his hands. “I never stood a chance against you, Cole Wild. You came barreling into my life with your sights set on my heart.”
“And they still are.”
“You are my calm after the storm,” I say, my voice breaking around the words as tears fall from my eyes. “When the clouds break apart and begin to separate. The sun shines through the cracks, urging them away from each other as the sky transforms into the most beautiful showcase of colors. Hues of oranges, yellows, and pinks dancing across the bright blue sky.”
Emotion dances within the depths of his eyes as they shine back at me. “The calm.” He lifts his hands to catch my tears as they fall.
“I can't deny my feelings for you any longer, Cole.” I laugh softly, shaking my head. “I thought it was a little crush that would go away, but I was terribly wrong. It's not just a crush and these feelings aren't going anywhere. If anything, they've only become more intense.”
He stares at me for a moment as he slides his hands underneath my jaw. “Say the words, El. I need to hear it from you.”
“I think I'm falling for you.”
His nostrils flare and the corners of his mouth twitch.”It took you long enough.”
Without another word, without another chance to breathe, he pushes up off the couch, his mouth claiming mine. He steals the air from my lungs, kissing me without a single beat of hesitancy. His lips crash against mine like the waves against the shore from a storm surge. His fingers trail along my jaw, savoring every touch, every inch of skin he strokes.
His lips are soft and he tastes sweet as he traces the seam of my lips with his tongue. This is what I want. He is what I want. I part them, letting him in as his tongue slides across mine. I'm lost in him, caught in the undertow as he pulls me deep into the depths of his soul. He surrounds me, consuming me, and overwhelming every single sense.
My tongue tangles with his and I memorize the way he feels and smells. My heart pounds erratically in my chest, but I can barely feel it hammering away. All I can feel is him. He kisses me with a reverent need and what started with no urgency, quickly transforms into something completely different. He pulls the air from my lungs, drinking me in and I let him. God, do I let him...
His hands are soft and attentive as they slide down the sides of my neck, tracing their way to my collarbone. My hands are at the bottom seam of his shirt, pushing it up his torso, his warm skin beneath my fingertips. My hands explore every inch of his abdomen, memorizing the dips and the curves, imprinting the way he feels beneath my palms inside my brain.
“El,” he murmurs against my lips as I push his shirt up farther. I pull away from him, sitting up straighter in his lap, reaching for the bottom hem of my shirt and pulling it up over my head. I toss it onto the floor. “Fuck, Ella,” he breathes, his voice hoarse with a burning desire.
My breath catches in my throat and there isn't a single part of me that feels uncomfortable under his gaze. I got lucky with mypregnancy and only have a few stretch marks around my belly button to show for it. From time to time, I feel self conscious of them, but with the way he's looking at me, all those feelings are instantly chased away.
He trails the tips of his fingers over the scars, staring at them before his eyes meet mine in a rush. “Goddamn, you're perfect.” He lets me remove his shirt, his eyes searching mine as he watches me reach around my back. I unclasp my bra and the cool air brushes across my breasts as I slide the straps down my arms and toss the undergarment onto the floor with our shirts.
