We’re out of breath when we reach Cole’s truck and he fumbles with the key and ends up dropping it on the ground. “Dammit,” he groans, laughing as he bends down to pick it up.
“Shoot, I forgot my shoes,” I half laugh, half mumble, bumping into the side of him accidentally.
Cole stops, turning to look at me as the rain falls harder. Concern washes over his expression and he shifts his weight like he’s about to move in the direction we came from. “I can go get them.”
I shake my head dismissively, reaching out to grab his arm to stop him. “It’s okay, I have other pairs.” Cole falls silent, his eyes scanning my face like he’s memorizing the placement of every freckle before his gaze meets mine again. “What?”
His eyebrows pinch before releasing. “God, you’re beautiful,” he breathes, like the admission is a weight off his chest. Something unreadable passes through his eyes and I find myself drawn to him.
My feet move without my direction, inching closer to him until I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. He looks conflicted as torment weaves itself through his expression and the fire burning in his eyes. He lifts his hands, his movements soft and slow as he cradles the side of my face.
He slowly lowers his head, his lips a fraction of an inch away from mine. My breath gets caught in my throat, my heart threatening to break free from my rib cage as Cole’s breath fans across my face.
“I really wanna kiss you right now, but I’m not goin’ to.”
Rejection hits me like a freight train. “Why?”
“Because once I start, I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop.” He pauses, pulling back enough that his gaze collides with mine. “When this does happen, I want you to be ready for it. I don’t want you to second guess anythin’ between us.”
My heart lodges in my throat. “What if I’m never ready?”
“One day, El,” he says gently as he lifts his head and presses his lips against my forehead. “One day, you will be. And I’ll be here waitin’.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ELLA
Chloe releases my hand and breaks out into a skipping movement as she heads down the path through the cemetery. The sun shines in the sky above without a single cloud in sight. It warms my skin and I watch Chloe, falling in step beside my brother as we both carry our own bouquets of flowers.
“I wish I had half the energy she has,” Wyatt says quietly, a soft laugh following his words as we trail behind her. Chloe pauses at the end of the row, glancing over her shoulder at the two of us.
I point to the right and she smiles, heading in that direction. “I know. I’ve had no choice but to become a morning person with her.”
“Well, she’s a happy little girl, El. And that’s all that matters.”
I let out a soft breath, both of our steps slowing as we reach their headstone. “I know,” I breathe, smiling at Chloe as I wave her over. She went past the gravesite, but didn’t wander too far.
She comes skipping over to us as Wyatt and I both stand in front of the piece of granite with both of our parents' names etched into it. The manicured grass is deep green and trimmed along the bottom. A soft breeze blows across us, carrying theair from the mountain through my hair. Reaching up, I brush a stray tendril, kneeling down to hand the flowers to Chloe.
Her smile grows wider across her lips as she plops down onto her butt, holding the flowers in front of her. I crouch down, helping her slide them into the vase that’s built into the headstone.
Emotion wells in my throat, my chest constricting and I place my hand against the stone. It’s cold against my palm and I know neither of them are truly here, but it helps me to connect. My eyelids fall shut, my lungs expanding as I suck in a ragged breath.
I miss them so much it hurts sometimes. Time has helped to ease the pain, but there are moments where it just feels like there’s an emptiness lingering inside of my ribcage. The corners of my eyes begin to burn and I squeeze my lids tighter, attempting to keep the tears from breaking free.
The lump lodged in my throat aches and I swallow over it, my nostrils flaring. I suck in another shallow breath. God, I wish they were both here. I miss the sound of her voice and the tightness of his hugs. The first tear falls, followed by a string of others, trailing down my cheeks.
“Mama,” Chloe says softly, her tone an octave higher with a twinge of worry. “Mama hurt?”
My eyelids lift and I find Chloe standing directly in my face, her features blurred by my tears. A smile lifts the corners of my lips and I remove my hand from the stone, hastily wiping the moisture away from my cheeks.
“Yes, baby,” I murmur, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her flush against my torso. “Mama just misses your grandma and grandpa.”
Chloe wraps her arms around my neck, pushing her weight against me as she silently holds on for a moment. “To-tay, Mama,” she murmurs, patting my back. “No sad.”
A soft chuckle escapes me and I smile through the tears. “Thank you, Clo. Mama isn’t sad anymore.”
She pulls away, bringing her hand to my cheek as she gives me a soft pat and kisses the tip of my nose. She releases me, spinning around to face the headstone, just as a butterfly flutters past. I watch it as it dips through the breeze, landing on top of the granite stone.
