“Come.”Jason held out a hand to help her rise.“Let’s spruce up.”
She stood and trailed him up the stairs, bracing herself.
She could do this.
When they reached the bedchamber they were using, a pretty pink room that normally belonged to Rebecca, she steeled her nerves.“Jase, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Oh, yes?”He drew her inside and into his arms, pushing the door closed behind them.“There’s something I need to tellyou.”He kissed her softly.“I missed you all day today—I missed being alone with you.”Tenderly he brushed the hair back from her face, making a little shiver run through her.“I cannot wait till the summer, when we can be alone for weeks and weeks.I was thinking we might ride ahead of the baggage train, just the two of us, and visit some of the places we stayed before we were married.Like the place in Stilton where we had our first kiss—”
“Actually, our first kiss was in Newark, though you don’t remember it.You were asleep.”
Jason chuckled.“Right, we’ll stop there too.”He kissed the end of her nose, a silly smile on his face.“I feel like a schoolboy looking forward to term break.”
Cait bit her lip.“I thought you never went to school.”The Civil War and its aftermath had robbed him of the chance—of all the Chase siblings, only Ford had received any education outside the home.“How would you know how a schoolboy feels?”she asked, knowing she was blethering to delay telling him about the bairn.
“Very well, I feel like Iimaginea schoolboy feels,” he returned with another little chuckle.Then he gathered her closer and kissed her again, more deeply.
Twenty-one years into their marriage, this was unexpected in the middle of the day.Unexpected and delightful.Taking advantage, she wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered to the moment.As she concentrated on him—his spicy scent, his soft lips and tongue, all familiar yet endlessly exciting—her resolve seemed to fade away.
“What did you want to tell me?”he asked when he finally pulled back.
Her heart was racing.
Bloody hell, she remembered him saying,you’re not with child, are you?What a calamity that would be!
“Jase, I…”
Her courage failed her.
“I wanted to tell you I cannot breathe in this dress,” she continued with a wee forced laugh.“Will you loosen the laces a smitch?”
“But of course,” he replied with a grin, no doubt thinking she could easily do so herself.
While he removed her stomacher, he began humming the tune that went with “Tyrley, Tyrlow.”She drew a deep breath and focused on the dancing flames in the fireplace.Maybe he would notice herpleasingly plumpbreasts again and ask her if she might really be with child.Though she couldn’t find the words to tell him, it would be easier to simply confirm his suspicions.
After loosening and retying her laces, he replaced her stomacher, stripped off his shirt, splashed water on his face, and washed his hands, all while still cheerfully humming.
She watched him comb the long wavy hair she still loved even though it was now streaked with more than a few strands of silver.
Still humming.
So much for him noticing anything.He was so happy looking forward to time away together.How could she tell him that wouldn’t be happening?How could she ruin his Christmas?
She didn’t have the strength.
“I’m feeling strangely fatigued,” she said as he donned a fresh shirt.“I think I’ll lie down for a few minutes before supper.”
She’d sometimes felt fatigued during her three pregnancies.Maybe he’d remember that and ask her if she might be carrying.
He shrugged back into his surcoat.“Do you want me to stay with you?”
“Nay, go ahead.I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“As you wish,” he said, then kissed her again and left.
Dejected, she did lie down for a while, her mind racing.
She had to tell him.
