Page 75 of The Grumpy Count


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She laughs. “Hey, cheer up! It isn’t the end of the world. My agent is confident she’ll get me decent auditions now that I’ve played a major supporting character in the show all London is talking about.”

“Good.”

Am I a bad person for wishing Margot had no offers at all?Notgenerally, but at least over the next few months…

A familiar silhouette appears in the distance, moving our way. It’s Mom. Margot met her already, and they talked over lunch. That is, Margot and I did the talking. Mom replied politely but remained aloof.

We stop and wait until she catches up with us. I keep Margot’s hand in mine.

“I just remembered something,” Mom says to me. “The groundskeeper wanted to talk to you about the gardener.”

“OK.”

“I spotted him in the kitchen.” She gives me an expectant look. “You can catch him if you hurry.”

“It can wait.”

Why does this seem like a ploy?Is she trying to send me away so she can have a word with Margot? About what? Am I being paranoid?

Visibly displeased with my refusal to leave, Mom turns to Margot, “Is ourvalorousKey to the Key having a good day so far?”

I don’t like the mockery in her tone.

“As good as the Honorable Countess could expect,” Margot teases her back.

“Key to the Key,” Mom repeats slowly, as if tasting the words. “A ridiculous title, isn’t it?”

I intervene, “Your bestie, our oracle, came up with it after she had the first of her prophetic visions that made it possible for us to recover four keys so far.”

“I don’t doubt Felicia’s visions,” Mom says. “I question hailing random foreigners as ‘Key to the Key’ simply because they happen to have one of the keys or information on how to find it.”

I cock my head. “What would you call them?”

“Native informants, maybe?” She wrinkles her nose. “Lionizing and glorifying them creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that was never in Felicia’s visions.”

This was a reference to the first three matches which she disapproves of.

“Our princes had to marry someone someday,” I say with a shrug.

“Did it have to be foreign commoners?” She glowers at me. “The crown prince was all but engaged to a woman of quality, the well-born, lovely Heidi Von Gottfried.”

Shall I bring up another well-born, lovely lady called Donna?No, I won’t.That would be too cruel.

Mom continues, “Because Prince Theodor bought into the Key to the Key rubbish, our next reigning princess will be a French nobody, sister to a gangster!”

Ever since the events, I’ve been very protective of Mom. She lost a son and a husband on the same day. I’m still protective of her. But she’s testing my limits.

“Worse things happen at sea,” I say in a conciliatory tone.

Her mouth twists into a bitter smirk. “How ironic!”

“What’s ironic, Mom?”

“Your theory of women, and your claims you’d never marry used to upset me. But I’m grateful for them now.”

Another word and my dam will burst.

She ignores my black look. “Your cynicism is a blessing, Jonas. It will preserve you. It will shield you from…” She glances at Margot.