I pull on my pants. “I wish you’d chosenme.”
He opens his mouth and shuts it without uttering a sound. Instead, he shakes his head on a heavy sigh, as if what I said was too childish, too unreasonable to argue against.
I grab my purse and stalk to the exit.
On the runway, Roberto bids me farewell. Abdel drives me into Monaco. I slouch in the back seat, my body sated and my soul drained, boneless and thoughtless.
When we reach our destination, my new home turns out to be a charming property with a garden and a view on the sea. Abdel leads me to the designer-decorated house.
He carries the suitcases upstairs, and then shows me a room with gorgeous wall-to-wall bookcases. “Your office.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
He points out a binder atop the large desk. “You’ll find your new bank details and cards in there, as well as other useful information.”
“I’ll start looking for a job.”
“You don’t have to.” He places a visiting card on the desk. “Your local contact. Give her a call tomorrow. She’s there to help you in every way.”
We shake hands. He gets back into the car and drives away.
I look around. Whether my Monegasque interlude lasts three or six or twelve months, it’s going to be the most opulent period of my life thus far and likely ever. Opulent and safe. With Theo looking out for me from afar, I’m not afraid of Doc or Kurt or anyone or anything. For the first time since Gilles sold me to a dangerous criminal, I expect to live a long life.
A comfy, cushy,emptylife.
THEO
Vegetation that was dormant only a few days ago has begun to push up with an impressive zeal. Buds are sprouting, grass is greening the ground, and tiny leaves are filling out the trees. And every spring, and every spring the rush of life boggles my mind. Early March has rarely been this warm in Mount Evor and across the border in Savoie.
Most of the snow is gone now in the area where our helicopter crashed. Jordan’s remains were found. A wake was held last week. Darrel’s body hasn’t turned up yet. Perhaps it never will, if he fell into a crevice too deep or if his body was devoured by vultures.
Darrel’s parents lived in limbo all this time. But now that all hope is gone, they resolved to hold a memorial service without a body. They need to grieve.
We all do.
I listen to the speakers who take turns honoring Darrel’s memory and scan my own notes. My speech is going to be brief. After all the wonderful, heartbreaking things said by his parents, siblings and close friends, what more can I add? Only my deepest, most ardent gratitude for having had him by my side for three years.
My turn comes, and I walk to the lectern in my formal my red corded pants and black coat with swirls of gold.
“It’s been a difficult month for us all,” I say, glancing around the room. “Let us take a moment to recognize the enormity of our loss. Darrel Vlovsky was an extraordinary man, one in a million. Brave, loyal to a fault, funny, competent, full of life. So full of life! I was blessed to know him.”
Darrel’s parents begin to cry. Most people in the packed chapel do, including my own undemonstrative mother.
If only all our tears could bring Darrel back!
I go on for a few more minutes and wrap up, unwilling to show too much emotion in public. Saying that the past month had been difficult was an understatement. Despite the success of my mission, I’ve been in a very dark place. And in a shitty mood.
As I step down from the podium, Heidi approaches. “Such a moving speech, Your Highness!”
She dabs her perfectly dry eyes with a wad of paper tissue.
“Thank you,” I say. “It means a lot.”
She nods, as if to acknowledge my insincere recognition of her feigned sentiment. The most remarkable thing about Heidi is how dignified her inauthenticity is. She never overdoes it, never sheds a tear too many, never laughs louder or longer than necessary. Nor does she try to fake being attracted to me. There’s mutual respect between us, and it’s amply sufficient as a basis for a solid, lasting marriage for someone in my position and with my responsibilities.
I don’t think Heidi will try to fake it in bed, either. I suspect she won’t even share my bed, outside of the times we try to beget an heir. It suits me just fine. This beautiful, smart woman leaves me as cold as ice. I haven’t sought her out since my return—in fact, I’ve been avoiding her.
That being said, I still intend to honor our understanding. Nothing has changed in that regard. Well, maybe one thing. I know it’ll be Elise I picture when I fuck Heidi on our wedding night.
