“I’d love to see it one day.”
His eyes widen, and he looks almost insulted.“It’s on his torso, and you are so not seeing my dad half naked.”
I smile.“I’ll be sure to visit Grady, Landon, and Randie this summer in Silver Bay and invite your whole family for a lakeside picnic.I’m sure I can get him to swim so I can sneak a peek at the tattoo.”
“No.”
I laugh because it’s ridiculous that he’s jealous at all, let alone over me looking at his dad’s tattoo.“You and your dad are very similar in features and body type, so it’ll just be like looking at you… only hotter because of the sexy tat.”
“Lola Summer Casco, are you trying to make me fuck you again?So soon?”He growls and moves so he’s half on top of me.I can feel him getting hard.“Because I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to stop calling my freakingdadsexy.”
“I mean no, but if you feel you need to prove something...”He growls again, nipping my neck, and I squirm.“Okay, fine.It’s not your dad.It’s tattoos.I like them.”
“I’ll probably get one or two eventually.I mean, now my body is a little… banged up anyway,” he says softly, almost like he’s thinking out loud.
I turn my head and find his scars, one on his arm and one on the opposing shoulder that runs from his collarbone to his armpit.They’re both big and scary-looking.“You could get something on top of the scars.I’ve heard people do that.”
He shakes his head.“No.I need the reminder.Need to see the consequences of my actions.”His voice is low, serious, and a little sad.
I lift my hand and trace the one on his arm.“Do you remember it?”
“The accident?Nope.I don’t remember anything about that night.Not the game we played, not the party with the guys on the strip, not winning three grand, which I apparently did on slots at the Mirage.”Theo’s eyes move down, off of mine, like he’s ashamed, and I get it.I used to think he deserved to feel like shit, but now I’m not so sure.“I definitely don’t remember the Instagram video.But my lack of memory isn’t an excuse.”
“No, it’s not, but?—”
“No buts.”Theo’s voice is hard, scolding, but I know it’s directed inward.“I watch that fucking thing every week so I don’t forget what drinking did to me.What I let it do.”
I cup his face and wait until he finally brings his eyes to mine.“Theo, that’s not healthy.At some point in your steps program, aren’t you supposed to forgive yourself?”
My thumb runs over his cheekbone and back again.He blinks and rolls away from me so he’s on his back staring up at the ceiling.“One day.For now, I need the reminders.It keeps me… motivated.”
I don’t say anything because my heart tells me that watching a drunken video of himself outing his cousin before he falls off a roof isn’t the type of motivation he needs.But how do I tell him that?And is it my place as his… bed buddy?Nope.Not even a little bit.“Did you get a chance to chat with my dad today?About your game?”
He almost smiles.“Yeah.A little.Thanks for suggesting it.He had really good insight.”
“Of course he did.He loves talking hockey.”A thought occurs to me, and I get a little nervous.“Did you tell him we’ve been hanging out?”
“No.I wasn’t sure what to say if your name came up, so I didn’t bring it up.”His brown eyes dance with humor.“Oh, how do I know your only daughter, Lola?Well, she lets my sober dick experiment with sober sex.”
A giggle bursts out of me, and I cover my face with my hands.“Yeah, do not say that, or anything similar, unless you want more trauma.”
He laughs too.“So about tonight.Do you really think Pete was staring at you through the windows?”
“I don’t know,” I say, my light mood evaporating.“It felt ominous, and I mean… he’s done it before—just shown up at my work.I just… I can’t exactly go to the police with a hunch.”
“And they haven’t gotten back to you about the car thing?”I shake my head, and Theo frowns, turning to me with serious brown eyes that make me feel weird, like I’ve done something wrong.I don’t know why.
“No.And I don’t want to hound them.”
His face twists like I just said something unrealistic.“I’ll hound them.Tomorrow.I’ll call.And I’m going to mention the thing tonight.”
“Please don’t,” I beg and reach for his hand.“I have zero proof it’s him, and nothing happened.I’m fine.”
He frowns.I don’t know how to explain to him what it’s like being a woman.Why we can’t just accuse people of things without undeniable proof.Why we’re constantly second-guessed and why being emotional about something as scary as being stalked means we’re the problem.I sit up and pull back the covers.“I should go.”
“Why?”he asks, and I can hear the confusion in his voice.
“Because I mean, this is… I don’t need to spend the night.We did what we wanted.”I smile and turn to face him.“Solid nine out of ten, buddy!”
