“Please may it not be theHunger Games,” I mutter and reach for my new glass of wine.
She laughs at my pessimism.I’m not hopeful because when I was on the app before, no one piqued my interest, and that was over about a month-long period.
Delia and I finish our second wine and call it a night.She has an early start tomorrow for her reception job, and I actually have a day I’m looking forward to.I’m heading to Sand Dollar Art Collective to help them set up for an event.I get to participate in the watercolor class they’re hosting as a tradeoff for helping.
When Delia and I get outside, we hug to go our separate ways, but before she leaves, Delia asks, “Any bites on the app?”
I pull my phone out of my pocket and look.I have two guys who have markedinterested.Delia claps excitedly and takes my phone.“Let’s see which one we like!”
The first guy is, according to his profile, Eddie_B.He’s 5’11, originally from Massachusetts, with blond hair and blue eyes, and in his only photo, he’s throwing a football in a pair of board shorts, sunglasses, and a backward baseball cap.“Sports.Gross.”
Delia rolls her eyes.“Too picky.But also frat boy vibes.Sorry, Eddie, that’s a pass.Next!”
She swipes to bachelor number two, and we both fall silent, because our mouths are hanging open.His name on the app is Luke_T, and his only picture is of him shirtless.He’s flying through the air because he’s hurled himself off a long wooden dock and is about to land in a tranquil-looking lake.He’s in swim trunks that are dark red and pop against his sun-bronzed skin.His arms and legs look perfectly toned, but he’s got sunglasses over his eyes, and his head is tilted back so I can only see the line of his jaw, which is peppered with a neat beard.
“That has to be your type because it’s definitely mine,” Delia says, and I shoot her side-eye because her boyfriend Donnie looks nothing like this guy.Donnie is fair, lanky, and freckled.This guy is all muscle wrapped in olive skin and hair that’s almost black and fairly long in this photo, flopping against his forehead and flying out around his ears.Donnie has a buzz cut.
“Yeah.This one… has potential,” I say and take my phone back from her to look at his bio.Luke, 27, Portland, Middle school teacher.I gnaw on my bottom lip.“He could be a gym teacher.I don’t date sporty guys.Ryan ruined that for me.”
“Oh, for god’s sake, it’s not dating, it’s fucking,” Delia reminds me, exasperated.“And why not fuck a possible gym teacher?They probably have stamina.”
She’s right.I don’t have to have my relationship rules carry over to this.I take a breath and hold it as I hit the thumbs-up button, which opens my messages to this guy so we can communicate.“There.He’s worth the buck-ninety-nine it costs to talk.But I’m waiting to see if he reaches out.I’m not reaching out to him.”
Delia groans like I’ve disappointed her.“Fine.You’re so rational.It’s boring.”
“I laugh and give her a shove toward her Jeep, which I can see up the block.“Go.Say hi to Donnie.And thanks for keeping me company.”
“Always got your back, bitch.”Delia blows me a kiss as I turn toward my own car, across the street, which looks like nothing ever happened to it thanks to some good but pricy mechanics in Portland..“Keep me posted on hottie McGymTeacher.”
“Will do.”
Five minutes later, just before I put the car in drive, I hear an alert noise on my phone.I grab it off the seat next to my bag and see it’s OAD.Luke responded.
Luke_T
Hi.This is weird.I’m no good at this but I liked your bio.
I try not to roll my eyes.Sure.It was my bio and not my ass.
Summer_L
Hi.What part of my bio?
Luke_T
Looking for chemistry so hot we make Ben & Jerry’s melt.That is a hell of an amount of chemistry.Because the deliciousness is a murder weapon.Even after half an hour on the counter it can bend spoons.
I smile.He gets it.No one has gotten it yet.Although I haven’t really tried on this app.But I’m impressed that he not only mentioned my bio, and not my ass, but seems to have meant it.
Summer_L
So… can you melt my BJ?
I hit send before I have a chance to realize I forgot the & between B and J.Shit!I frantically type another message.
Summer_L
Typo.B AND J.B&J!Ben & Jerry’s.
