“Yeah, worrying does too, so I don’t feel guilty.” He winks.
I love him so much, but despite his being here and all the lovely declarations he made, I’m still worried he’ll run if I dare to say those words. Only time will tell. I ask my parents what room they want, offering them my bedroom since it’s the biggest. Dad says they’ll stay upstairs and grabs the overnight bag they hastily packed and brings it upstairs.
The rest of the night is oddly normal. We eat, watch a Netflix movie, and talk. Coach texts me to tell me the Riptide won and asks if I’m okay. I set up a meeting with him for the next afternoon and tell him I’ve been cleared to play. I hear Grady’s phone go off and know the coach invited him to the meeting too.
Angie goes to bed first, then Callan and Lola leave to head back to school, and while Mom and Dad tidy up, I walk Grady halfway home. We don’t talk, but he does slip his hand into mine. When he stops to say goodbye, he looks anguished. “I’m sorry. Again.”
“It’s okay,” I say and let go of the hurt still stinging the corners of my heart. “We’re figuring it out.”
“You didn’t tell them. About us.” Grady looks anxious, and I realize he must have taken that as a sign I wasn’t sure, or changing my mind.
I squeeze his hand. “I told them I was seeing someone.”
“You didn’t explain.”
“I can if you insist,” I reply. “I’ll take out a full page in the Portland Herald if that’s what you want. But it just hit me, when I was about to tell them that I was bi and that I was in… like with a guy. Why do I have to? No one does that—comes out—when they’re straight. Why am I expected to do this, because I’m not?”
“Because…” Grady’s forehead wrinkles, he’s thinking about it so hard.
It makes me grin. “Mom will ask me my new girlfriend’s name when she’s over the shock of the baby, and I’ll say Grady, and he’s not a girl. Anyway, I have a feeling my dad will explain it to her before I do. I saw something spark in his head.”
“Yeah, well, he probably knows a goalie wouldn’t willingly walk away from a game for a dizzy bestie.” Grady smiles and winks.
I laugh and step into him so we’re chest to chest, still holding hands. “What about you? How are you going to make your family aware?”
“I’ve thought about this for decades and come up with a million different scenarios,” Grady says softly. He looks lost in an avalanche of those potential scenarios, but then he blinks and refocuses on me. “I’m just going to tell my parents, in person. The rest of them, I’ll send a text to the group chat.”
“Bold.” I laugh, and he tilts his head down.
“I’m terrified,” he admits in a rough whisper.
“Try becoming a dad to a little girl,” I whisper back. “That’s terrifying too.”
“You’re going to be a great girl dad,” Grady tells me. “And I wanna be right there cheering you on every step of the way.”
He runs his knuckles down my cheek. I shiver. “You’re going to be a great openly gay hockey player. And I’m going to be right there with you. I got you.”
“Can we start with a public kiss?” Grady asks. “I’ve never done that.”
“Finally, I get to be your first.”
He dips his head, and our lips collide.
Chapter 39
Grady
I’m shocked when I walk into Coach’s office for our meeting and Landon is already there, standing next to Kendra, who is holding her laptop up for him to read something. I pause in the doorway. Coach looks up from his desk. “Come in. They’ll be done in a minute.”
“Perfect,” Landon says. “Thanks, Kendra, I appreciate it.”
Kendra’s red lips part in a smile. “Honey, this is what I was born to do. You’re more than welcome. And congrats.”
Landon sees me and smiles. He walks to the door and closes it behind Kendra before sitting down next to me in the seats across from the coach’s desk. We haven’t been here like this since we were first traded. God, that feels like a lifetime ago now. Coach nods at Landon. “Tell him what we’ve already sorted.”
“Kendra is releasing a statement that I’m becoming a father, via surrogate,” Landon explains. “She cites Cristiano Ronaldo as an example of a very famous athlete who has chosen the same route to fatherhood. She also brings up the cancer and how that made me realize my dreams of family couldn’t wait.”
“You hate it when people bring up the cancer.”
