Her hopeful expression flickers. “So they’re doing long-distance? Really?”
“No.”
“So he’s single.”
Okay, Grady, here’s your chance to tell the truth. “No. Not exactly.”
Why the hell did I say that again? I have no claim to him. I do not want a claim on him. I’ve told myself that a million times. I don’t do relationships.
Shelby is staring at me like she doesn’t recognize me. A single eyebrow lifts. “Oh, come on. You never cared if I dated a hockey player before.”
“Yeah, but… not him, Shel.” The words come out as a strangled plea, which startles even me. But my sister can’t date my… crush. I swallow. “Look, Landon is in a messy place emotionally, and it’s affecting his game. I don’t think that it’s the right time, and also… not him. Like ever. Okay? I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve never vetoed anyone or gotten involved in your dating life, but just not Landon. Please.”
She’s looking at me like I’m crazy. I don’t doubt I sound it, and this is not like me. I want to tell her about things. I want to tell her about me, but I can’t. I just can’t. And it’s not that Shelby wouldn’t support me. She would be absolutely fine with me being gay. It’s just that if she knows, she has to carry that secret too, and I won’t do that. It’s bad enough that one person in the family knows.
“Did something happen between you two?” she questions. “Because last year you guys seemed like best friends, and this year, I mean, you moved out of his place so abruptly. It seemed weird at the time.”
“This rental was a perfect opportunity. I had to jump on it,” I explain and move to the couch, where I sit down and put my feet up on the coffee table. “And I knew things were melting down with him and Angie, and I didn’t want to make it worse, or be in the way.”
“So he is single?”
“NO,” I bark out, and she laughs.
“Fine. Whatever. Does he have a brother?”
I smile. “He’s, like, twelve.”
“Boo.” Shelby frowns.
I don’t think Landon would get involved with my sister, but I don’t even want him to have the option, and maybe that’s selfish of me, but I can’t seem to care. It’s not my first rodeo when it comes to watching people I’ve been intimate with date one of my relatives. I had a very brief, but fulfilling bed buddy situation with Crew Westwood, who has since fallen in love with my cousin Liv, and it was a little weird at first. He and I had to have a frank discussion, but I couldn’t be happier for them. The difference here is I have feelings for Landon. I mean, I can’t act on them, not really, but they’re there.
Shelby sighs. “Probably for the best because I’m leaving anyway.”
“To become a doctor,” I add with a smile. “My stupid smart sister.”
“Go take your mandatory pre-game nap while I fuck with your Netflix algorithm,” Shelby grins and drops down next to me on the sofa, stealing the remote for the TV off the coffee table.
I grumble, like she’s a giant pain in my ass, but I’m smiling as I head down the hall into my bedroom.
Chapter 21
Grady
Three hours later, I’m on my way to the arena, Shelby is still on my couch watching some show about turning pretty in the summer or something ridiculous, and my mom and dad have texted me to tell me they’re on their way with Harlow and will see me after the game. I pull into my parking spot as Landon is getting out of his truck a few spots down. He immediately tucks his chin, keeping his eyes glued to the stained and scarred concrete.
I haven’t had a second of alone time with him since the argument after dinner with Abbott.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he replies coolly.
“How was Christmas?”
“Decent. Cheap. I didn’t have to buy a ton of stuff for a girlfriend. You?”
“Okay,” I hesitate and then blurt out the truth. “I was kind of bummed you weren’t around. I came back early from Silver Bay to see if we could… make up?”
I should probably see a shrink about how hot I find it when Landon is vulnerable and open with me, but how being the same way with him feels like I’m waterboarding myself. We reach the door to the arena, and he pushes it open. His head turns slightly toward me. “I usually never go to Callan’s games, but I seem to be doing a lot of things I never do… maybe this will work out and Callan and I will become closer.”
