Liv
Ihope that the waterproof mascara and concealer I applied works. I really do not want my makeup sliding off my face if I cry today. Everyone will see the bags under my eyes from the sleepless night I just spent tossing in my bed. Now I'm not just worried about facing my attacker, I'm worried about losing my boyfriend. I sigh, take one more look in the mirror, and turn and leave my room.
The trial is supposed to start at nine-thirty. It's barely six thirty as I grab my purse, a jacket, and a good book and leave my apartment. The courthouse is in Santa Monica and the fact is with Los Angeles traffic it might take me over an hour to get there. I’m giving myself three because I can’t sleep and I am so anxious I would rather sit there, in the courthouse parking lot, and wait than lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. Tenley offered to go with me, but I refused. Tate offered too. So did Mallory. I'm a little shocked that one, or all, of them, haven't ignored my wishes and shown up to go with me anyway. That’s how my family works.
But then I turn the corner of our building to the long row of parking spots tucked under one side of the building and I know exactly why they kept to my wishes. Because my mom is leaning against the hood of the car I share with Tenley, two coffees in her hands.
She puts the coffees down on the car and gives me a smile. "You can totally do this alone. I know that. But you don't have to and that's a luxury I didn't have at your age. From a very young age, Ihadto be strong because I didn’t have parents. I promised myself when I had babies they would never have to be strong all alone. They could be strong, and they would be strong, but never alone. So I’m here. I’m sorry.”
I lose sight of her through my tears of relief. “Don’t be sorry. I love you. I need you.”
She rushes to me and wraps her arms around me and I cry into her shoulder like I used to do when I was little and I’d skinned a knee or had my feelings hurt by the class bully. Her hands smooth the back of my hair. “You do not need me, but I got you baby. I will always have you.”
“I just talked to you and Dad, in Maine, yesterday afternoon.” I sniff my voice trembling. “I even made sure the flights weren’t available. How did you get here?”
She holds me tighter. “I’m Callie Caplan-Garrison and nobody stops me. Your brother’s team was starting their west coast road trip last night so I hitched a ride to San Francisco and then rented a car and here I am.”
“I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Your dad is here too. He’s at our hotel in Santa Monica. One text and he’ll join us at the courthouse, but he didn’t want to overwhelm you. And he knew there are some things a mama bear can handle.” She kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears.
“You can handle anything. You’re Callie Caplan-Garrison,” I smile through my blubbering. “I really want to be like you, Mom.”
"Oh, Olivia." Tears fill her eyes, but she blinks them away. "You are better and more than I could ever hope to be. Now let's get going. I'll drive. Grab your coffee. I have some makeup in my bag so you can touch it up on the way there."
At the beginning of the car ride, I just hold my mom's hand and spill my guts about this attack. She listens quietly, which is odd because my mother is never quiet. When I'm done with the details and all the ugly feelings I had to deal with she lets out a hard breath. "I am so upset I wasn't there for you, Liv."
“I needed to process it on my own,” I explain. “I don’t regret that part. I also don’t regret finally taking everyone’s advice and seeing a therapist.”
“Everyone?”
“Tenley. Tate. Mallory. Crew. He’s the one that finally convinced me,” I explain and my stomach swirls with anxiety over my relationship but I push it down. “He told me he wouldn’t have made it through his divorce without therapy. What he said made me understand that what I went through, no matter how quick and thankfully without lasting consequences, was still traumatic. It was strong to ask for help, not weak."
“But you still didn’t apply that to your parents.”
“I told you. That was the first step.”
“Well remind me to thank Crew when I see him. How is your boyfriend?” Mom asks and there’s excitement in her voice.
“Can we talk about that later?” I ask as I start digging in her bag for some concealer to fix my makeup.
“Umm… okay but that sounds bad.”
We’re settled in the courthouse parking lot an hour later and the place isn’t even opened yet so Mom asks about Crew again. “Remember I’m the cool mom you can tell me anything. If it’s a sex problem, I bet I can help you solve it. An emotional one? I’ve got you covered there too. Your dad and I did not have an easy start. He was married before me too, remember?”
Right. I often forget that because we’re such a well-blended family. I never call Conner my half-brother. He’s just my brother, full-stop. “Crew doesn’t trust women. That’s what he said when we first started dating. And I thought it was a red flag but I… I was crushing too hard to see straight.”
“Good D will do that to you.”
“Mother!” I let out an exasperated sigh. She grins guiltily and then pretends to zip her lips closed. “And we turned this thing between us into more than a one-night stand. And he encouraged me to open up, about the attack and everything and I felt like I was obviously different. I wasn’t a woman he didn’t trust. Except last night… I found out that he hasn’t told me about a very big part of who he is. And his past.”
Mom nods and stares out the window. “Is it something that changes how you feel about him?”
“No.”
“Is it something illegal? Would it get him arrested? Would it put you or others in danger?”
“No.”
