“Mr. and Mrs. Barlowe, what church do you go to now?” Declan asks as they’re about to turn and walk down the stairs to the sidewalk.
“We’re Baptist now, honey,” Mom replies with a small smile.
“As far as I know that’s not much different from Catholicism, right?” I question.
“Well, yes it is different,” Dad says, his tone hardening a little, like he’s growing defensive. “Pastor Dockerty, our preacher, he says it’s key to not judge the sinner, but know the sin.”
I stare at him and wait for more. He swallows. “We have a gay couple at our church. Two women. No one shuns them. In fact, your mother is on a knitting committee with Terri, one of the ladies.”
“Uh-huh,” I say wearily. Declan and I glance at each other again. This feels a lot like someone who says something racist and follows up with ‘I have a lot of black friends’ as a justification.
“We knit blankets and little hats for NICU babies at the local hospital,” Mom interjects. “Terri is a lovely lady. So is her partner. Our church doesn’t reject the sinner for the sins, baby. We see what we did wrong. What we were taught to do wrong. We did the Lord’s work. That’s not our job.”
“What… what does that even mean?” Aspen asks and the hope is clinging to her voice like a passenger on the Titanic clung to a scrap of floating wood. In futility.
“It means we don’t judge you, that’s God’s job.”
“So you don’t care if I’m gay, or she’s an unwed mother, because…” I wait without hope. I know in my soul the answer isn’t going to be what my sister or I want to hear.
“Because we don’t blame you for the sin.”
“We’re sad you’re going to hell, but we can still love you while you’re here. And we intend to,” Dad announces proudly. Like what he’s saying is going to please us. Like it isn’t still hateful religious rhetoric. “And save that baby’s perfect little soul. She hasn’t been baptized yet. We’ll pay for that, Aspen. The baptism. And anything else you need for her.”
“Fuck,” Aspen sighs.
“Aspy! Don’t swear in front of Abbie.”
“It’s Andie,” she growls and turns to me. “I’m such an idiot for almost believing they had it in them to actually try and be parents.”
“I know.” I give her a sympathetic smile before turning back to Jonah and Peggy. “So, we’re back to where we started. Get off my property and don’t come back. We’re not sinners. We’re not going to hell. In fact, our lives are pretty fucking blessed. We don’t need you or want you. Go home. Good-bye.”
I turn and head back into the living room. Aspen is already there, and as soon as Declan enters, he closes the heavy wood door behind him so we can barely hear Peggy calling out our names in anguish. Anguish she caused herself. Declan’s clear bright eyes bounce between Aspen and me. “I’m sorry. You two deserve so much better than them.”
I step closer and kiss him. “We have it.”
“It’s true,” Aspen says, walking across the living room to lay a now-sleeping Andie in her playpen. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And Abbott is too. It’s okay. I mean, it sucks but it’s okay.”
I remember what Jonah said. And fold my arms across my chest. “Now what’s this about joining the police force?”
Aspen smiles sheepishly and I sink down into the leather chair under the window. Something tells me I’m going to need to sit down for this.
* * *
Later that day,after our first official on-ice practice as a full team, I’m sitting in the locker room listening to the coach give us a speech. I think it’s supposed to be a pep talk but he’s awfully growly and is focusing a lot on what we need to improve so it’s kind of falling short on pep. Most of the guys look nervous or annoyed. I’m smiling. Because I keep shifting on the hard bench and my ass is tender and I think of Declan. Of what’s to come… literally. Coach could be screaming insults directly at me right now and I would still be smiling.
Even the confrontation with my parents earlier today couldn’t ruin my spirit. I’m in love. I’m going to tell people — soon. And life is good. Great even. Although I’m a little annoyed Aspen lied to me about becoming a police officer, she swears she just wanted to make sure she had her full plan in order before she told me. She wasn’t working a case the last several days. She was doing the written test and the psychological evaluations, both of which she passed with flying colors. And she was going to tell me after she had Andie’s care figured out. She starts the training in Portland in two short weeks. I’m proud of her and have no doubt she can do it and succeed in a police career. She’s smart and fair and it utilizes her private eye skills too but with a steady paycheck. Which means she won’t rely on mine as much. Which means if the coach really does go batshit on me because I’m going to come out at my Cup Day, in front of all the sports press in the tri-State and possibly beyond, then I will be okay. Because if I lose hockey, I won’t be letting anyone down. Yes, I’d miss the professional-level play but I can cope with a farm team position if I have to. If it means I have Deck. I can sell my place, get a smaller one with him.
I actually feel a little bit lighter since finding out Aspen is on this new career path and my parents are officially gone from our lives again. After the coach’s speech, and my shower, I text Declan.
Abbott:We need to tell your parents. Tonight.
I put the phone on the bench and tug on my underwear and catch Jay watching me out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look over at him and he looks away. He’s still pissed at me. I get it, I fucked up. I think he’s the type of guy I’ll have to win over by showing him I’m worth his trust and respect, not just saying it. So I’ve decided to do just that. I’ll be his defender and wingman and passing buddy every chance I get on the ice and maybe that’ll warm him up. My phone pings and I nearly dive for it.
Declan:Not saying no, just wondering about motive.
I smile. Typical cautious, overthinking Deck. I fucking love him and his chaotic brain.
Abbott:My parents know now. Logan. Aspen. Nova, sort of. I just feel like we should have started with them.
