He storms out.
And I’m left there feeling like I just blew up my entire life with one stupid punch. Pennie steps inside and closes the door behind her. “So… that went worse than expected.”
“It went worse than I ever thought possible,” I admit. I run my hands through my damp hair. “Pennie, my parents will not be involved in the Cup Day. They are not the reason I am who I am. My success is in spite of them, not because of them.”
“It’s one day. A few hours. I can make sure they’re distracted and you may not even have to talk to them much,” she pleads. “Maybe just a quick photo op. It will appease Coach Maxwell and you need that right now.”
“I spent my senior year of high school living on a teammate’s couch because I told my parents I was gay,” I whisper to her, in case someone is walking by outside the half open door. “They would rather have no son than a gay son. But now that I’ve won a Cup and my sister has a baby, they suddenly expect to be welcome back? I don’t care how much the Coach wants this, I will not even pretend to forgive them. Even if it means telling him I’m gay and making more waves for the team that he doesn’t want.”
Pennie looks shell shocked. She blinks repeatedly. And then she shocks me by hugging me. “I’ll handle it. They won’t be there if I can help it and I’ll handle Coach.”
“Are you going to tell him about me?”
She shakes her head. “It’s not my place and I don’t think it’s the time either. Not that timing should matter. You shouldn’t have to plan a way to discuss your sexual orientation. Straight people don’t have to. But right now, coach is panicking and I wouldn’t want to tell him his car needs an oil change let alone something as unique as having the first pro hockey player come out. You know the guy is threatening to sue not just you but the Riptide. He’s a real piece of work, that Green guy. Not the type of person I would trust to help me in a fire. Anyway, I’ll figure something out. And I’m so sorry you grew up like that.”
She leaves me, her head buried in her phone again. God, this whole day turned into such a shit storm. I was so hopeful when I woke up. I glance at my phone as I leave the locker room. I spend a couple minutes texting Declan, giving him the Cliff Notes on the entire ordeal. Turns out it wasn’t him who had texted me earlier, it was the publicist for my old team. Rightfully losing his mind about the incident which someone apparently shot video of and posted to YouTube. Great.
Declan texts back almost immediately.
Declan:Why did you let him get to you? You know he’s not worth it!
Great. Even Declan doesn’t have my back on this. But why would he? He doesn’t know Ronan is Andie’s deadbeat sperm donor. And I can’t tell him. Not without Aspen’s approval. So, I don’t respond. I just go upstairs and head out to the back parking lot, where I expect to see no one. I’ve waited long enough that everyone should have gone home by now. But there’s one car in the back parking lot. Parked directly next to mine. I don’t recognize the fancy Range Rover, but I know the faces staring at me through the windshield.
“Oh fuck no,” I hiss and start moving faster toward my car door. But they get out of their vehicle quickly and Dad is blocking the path.
“We just want to talk.”
“Nope.”
“Abbott honey please. Just a few minutes,” Mom pleads. She looks the same. A few more wrinkles around her eyes and mouth and her hair is more pale, as her honey colored hair fades into white. The thing that makes her look a little different is she actually, for the first time in my entire life, looks contrite. “We know we handled things inappropriately in the past.”
“Inappropriately?” I echo and anger curls in my belly. “You disowned me. You left Aspen on her own. Inappropriate doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Okay. Well, there’ve been mistakes made on both sides,” Dad interjects and he’s frowning. Like he expected me to just forgive and forget.
“I didn’t make any mistakes,” I argue. “I just told you who I was. That’s not an error. I’m still that person. Your gay son. I just have my name on a national trophy and a bigger paycheck now.”
I step around him but Mom rushes forward and wraps her arms around my middle. Her head is dipped, her cheek pressed against my shoulder, and I feel the sob as it quakes through her body. “We’ve changed churches. We’re more tolerant. We… we miss you. And Aspen. And we want to meet our grandbaby.”
My mother has never been a hugger. She’s never really been warm at all. She wasn’t the mom that would cuddle us after a nightmare. She told us to pray and the monster would go away and then left us alone in our room with just a bible and not even a nightlight. I could count on one hand the number of times she has hugged me in my entire life. And I never thought she’d be doing it again.
“We can work this out. If you give us a chance,” Dad adds. “I don’t think this has to be the way we go to our graves, Abbott. I know your sister is even more stubborn than you but we also know she listens to you. If you tell her to hear us out, she will. And we have a substantial savings account we’d like to give to the baby. What’s her name?”
“I don’t think Aspen would want you to know,” I admit and his stoic expression softens with pain.
“Okay well, maybe she will tell us. If you let us see her.”
“Aspen is an adult and she makes her own decisions,” I say and gently untangle myself from my mother. “And also, she has never been motivated by money so that savings account isn’t going to lure her, Dad. You know that. And she has me and I am perfectly capable of helping Aspen out if she needs it.”
“You’ve been an excellent big brother,” Mom says, sniffing and wiping at her watery eyes. No tears, just the threat of them. That’s also more than I’ve seen from her in my lifetime. Even when I left, she never shed a tear. “But that fight today, on the ice, with the Green boy. What was that? You used to be much more disciplined.”
“And we know you’ve had drinking problems,” Dad says. “And injuries. You may not be able to support them forever.”
“I have to go.” I don’t have to be anywhere right now. Declan is working until at least seven tonight and Aspen is likely at Javi’s with Andie. I have nowhere to be but I don’t want to be here. “I’m sorry, but this is done. I don’t want to see you guys again. Not at my events or my games and not at the Cup Day, so please just stay away.”
I get in my car and slam the door to muffle out my mother’s sobs and my dad’s pleas. And then I drive away without looking back. My heart is aching in this horrific way. Like I did the wrong thing. But did I? Do they deserve a second chance? Are they really ready to accept me? Do I care? I always thought it was too late. The damage was done. But I also never thought they’d change.
Without even thinking about it, I find myself pulling into the parking lot at Hawkins Lobster Shack. As the gravel crunches under my tires and I search out a parking spot in the half-full lot, I realize the only person who can calm my head and my heart is Declan. Because he lives rent-free in both of them.
