Because you said Abbott wouldn’t and I felt like if I did it would be proving something to him.I clear my throat and hand each of them their bottle. Three beers and an alcohol-free beer for Logan. “Because I wanted to hang out with my brothers. All three of you.”
“Aww,” Jake grins. He always looks so intense with his sharply angled features, his gargantuan height, and his near-black eyes, that when he grins it’s almost shocking how jovial he can look. “I think that’s the first time you called me your brother.”
“You’ve always been one,” I reply. “And in a couple months it’ll be official.”
“I can’t believe it, honestly,” Jake replies and sips his beer. “I didn’t think when I came back to Ocean Pines that Terra would even want to be my friend again let alone that I’d be marrying her.”
“I mean, seriously.” Finn puts his pool stick down and leans his denim clad ass on the side of the table. “We’ve all been through a lot this year. Terra is healthier than she’s ever been, and a full-fledged therapist. Jake, you’re down a kidney but up a fiancée.”
I still can’t believe that Jake was a match for Terra and gave her a kidney when lupus made her own crap out. Finn points the end of his beer bottle at his twin. “And Logan, you’re like this completely different person since you met Chloe. She healed you.”
“I healed me,” Logan corrects and smiles. “But I couldn’t have done it without her.”
They clink bottles and I fight the heavy cloak of guilt I seem to wear every time someone brings up Logan and Chloe’s relationship. When they met, they really seemed to bring each other out of their shells and I was really happy for Logan. But what none of us realized is that they had a very tragic thing in common— both were in the car crash that killed Chloe’s husband. A part of Logan’s life I tried to fix for him, but only made it worse.
“Stop,” Logan says simply, and I realize I must look the way I feel — guilty. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. And we all just want the same for you.”
“I’m fine,” I assure him, which clearly isn’t the answer he wants because he rolls his eyes. “I’m not ready to date.”
“Why not?” Jake asks. “Are you getting over someone? Was there someone in that town you ran off to?”
“Saugerties? No. There wasn’t anyone… important,” I admit. I did have a hook-up in New York, but it was a one-night stand and nothing more. Now I wish I had lied to the guys. That would be an okay thing to get back to Abbott. Declan found someone else. You’re replaceable. But the fact is, I don’t know if he would do anything other than sigh in relief. And I don’t want to find out.
“Aren’t you lonely?” Finn asks as he runs a hand through his hair. He and Logan look more similar than they have in years. Both have the same short beard. Logan used to spend summers brooding at home or working so he was usually paler but he’s got the same tan as Finn this year. “I mean, unless you’re… filling your spare time the way I used to…”
“With random hook-ups so casual you never find out their last name?” I smirk as Finn turns red.
“In his defense, you did go and marry the only woman he’s ever loved so, like, what else was he supposed to do?” Jake interjects and all our jaws hit the ground. “What? It’s true. Too soon?”
Finn and Nova started dating a few months ago and it was fast and furious. They’ve already moved in together. I didn’t realize that Finn had always had real feelings for Nova and I thought he was just adding her to his list of casual bed buddies. I thought I was protecting her honor. I was also full of a ton of misplaced rage. Rage at not being able to be myself and out. Still, there I was being a dick again.
“Jesus, we’re a fucking soap opera,” I mutter, and they all burst out laughing.
“Excuse me?” I hear someone say and I turn and see a guy and a girl standing at the other end of the pool table. He’s tall and broad shouldered, with thick light brown hair and a friendly smile. “Are you guys done with the table?”
“It’s okay if you aren’t,” the girl adds. She’s got the exact same hair color as him, which isn’t uncommon, but she also has his narrow, straight nose so his response doesn’t shock me too much.
“My sister doesn’t like losing, which is what will happen if you’re done with the table,” he says. His sister rolls her eyes.
I wait for someone to answer him, but they’re all looking at me like this is my call so I just shrug. “Yeah, you’re welcome to a game.”
I walk over and hand him the pool cue that’s resting against the table near Finn’s hip. His smile gets warmer. “I don’t suppose you want to play me? It gets boring always kicking my sister’s ass.”
“So you wanna kick mine instead?” I ask and then it hits me and I almost gasp. Did I just… flirt? Isheflirting?
“We can start there, yeah.” His smile never falters.
Holy shit heisflirting. With me. I feel like that very first time I went out on the fishing boat without my dad. It was just me and the twins but I was in charge, and the sea, very suddenly, got choppy. Too choppy. Dangerously choppy, and I had no fucking idea what to do. Same feeling right now. Luckily my siblings haven’t been hiding their sexuality in a closet for decades so they step in. Finn slaps my shoulder. “We’re gonna play some darts.”
“Wanna join?” Jake asks the sister, who nods and walks away with them.
“So, you wanna rack them or should I?”
“All yours,” I manage to croak out.
We make small talk as we play and it actually isn’t as awkward as I expected. And he’s a good pool player but not a shark like Jake, and he’s not beating me… all that badly. His name is Gael. He’s new to Portland. Moved here last year to attend law school after working for a few years in a non-profit in Boston. His sister, Joy, is visiting for the week.
“I feel like I’ve been talking your ear off,” Gael says as I make a really great shot and sink two stripes. “Tell me something about yourself so I don’t feel like an egomaniac.”
