I open my eyes and he’s gaping at me like I just farted or something. “At the party last year. Robbie Ellis’ party when his parents weren’t home and we played that fucking closet game.”
I can see his brain spinning behind those deep blue eyes. We spun an empty bottle and had to go into the closet for two minutes with whomever it landed on. He went in with a girl from the track team. Aspen spun the bottle and got me. “She said nothing happened.”
“She lied,” I manage to croak out. My throat feels dry suddenly and I wish I’d bought a soda or something. “I said we should just kiss to make it legit. I was kind of kidding but I mean, Aspen is hot, so why not?”
“Fucking gross.”
I ignore him. I said the same to our family friend Jake once when he said my sister was cute. “So, I gave her a kiss. Like a peck, I swear, but suddenly she was… into it and so it kept going and—"
“Stop talking!” Abbott barks harshly and covers his ears. “I do not want to know about Aspen and you.”
“There is no Aspen and me,” I assure him. “No offense. I’m not saying it judgey cause I don’t think less of her for it, but your sister has kissed half the school. I’m not special.”
“Runs in the family,” Abbott replies without looking the least bit offended. A couple more fireworks explode above us. “So, she didn’t like the kiss.”
I nod. “I mean, I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t think it would go like that. I just…”
I shrug instead of finishing the sentence because I’m overcome with embarrassment. How do you suck at kissing? I mean, I like doing it. I didn’t actually like doing it with Aspen though so maybe that’s why I sucked? I keep staring into the sky at the fireworks, not really enjoying them, but it’s better than looking at his face. My best friend now knows I kissed his sister and it was terrible. This is not how I expected the night to go. I wish I had more cotton candy.
“Aspen is a drama queen,” Abbott says, and I steal a quick glance over at him. He’s looking up at the display like I am. “I’m sure it wasn’t bad at all and even if it wasn’t great, kissing is a two-person deal. She’s probably the one who sucked.”
I don’t respond because if Aspen Barlowe sucked at kissing you’d think word would get around and people would stop wanting to kiss her. But they don’t. She’s my sister Terra’s best friend and Terra complains a lot about how many guys chat her up just so they can get to know Aspen. She loves her best friend, just hates the shady way guys act. Finn, Logan, and I are thrilled that no guy in our school has tried to hook up with Terra. It means we haven’t had to threaten to murder anyone yet. I don’t know how Abbott handles it.
He leans back on his hands again, which I’m already doing, and his fingertips brush over mine where they’re spread on the rock just behind us. And he leaves them there. Kind of on top of mine. That tingle comes back and my brain tells me to move my hand, but I don’t. The fireworks will be over soon and we’ll both get up anyway. This isn’t a big deal.
“So you’re never going to kiss another girl? With tongue? Because my sister said something stupid and snarky?”
“Oh my God, you are not going to let this go!” I pull my hand away from his so I can drop backwards onto the rock. Now I’m lying there, flat on my back. I can barely see the fireworks display as they’re kind of out of my sightline, but I see the glow from them every time they explode.
“Sorry,” Abbott says and then he’s gone. I feel a quick movement and when I crane my neck to see, he’s no longer on the rock. I can only see the top of his dirty blond head. He’s dropped down to the sand with his back against the boulder. I feel guilty. Like I’m being too hard on him and we’re on the verge of a fight. I’ve never fought with Abbott and I don’t want the first one to be about this. So I slide off the rock too and plop my ass down in the sand beside him.
“I’ll kiss, like that, again. One day. I just haven’t had the nerve yet. Or the girl I want to kiss that way, you know?” I mumble, giving in a little because I don’t want a rift between us.
“I don’t know,” Abbott replies. “Because I kiss every girl like that. Sometimes I don’t even really like them, but it’s something to do. And I like that they like me.”
I look over at him, the different colors from the explosions in the sky are illuminating his whole face. Girls love Abbott, which I get. He’s attractive. I mean, you’d have to be blind not to see it. I said that once out loud and my dad chuckled and shook his head and said, “Guys don’t tell other guys they’re good-looking Deck.” And so I haven’t ever said it again. I mean I didn’t actually say it to Abbott. I just agreed with Terra when she said he was cute. He doesn’t need me or anyone else to tell him though. He can tell because girls are always fawning all over him. I get smiles and glances too, but I guess I don’t relish it like he does and I’m not sure why.
“You should practice,” Abbott says out of nowhere. “It will build your confidence.”
“Practice kissing?” I ask and he nods so I laugh. “On what? One of Terra’s old dolls?”
“No, genius,” Abbott laughs and shakes his head. “On a real, live person. Someone you trust who will give you an honest critique.”
“The only people I trust are related to me so yeah, that’s a no,” I reply and shift a little against the rock so a pointy bit stops sticking into my back above my left shoulder blade. My hand is palm down on the sand between us and then, before I can move it, he puts his hand on top of it. I figure he’s just shifting position too, but he doesn’t move it so I look at him.
“You trust me, right?”
“Yeah…”
“So?”
“So…”
“Practice on me.”
3
15-YEAR-OLD ABBOTT
