I nod and laugh softly. “Do not tell me after all you’ve done tonight you’re scared of my family finding out? They know I’m gay. They also know you aren’t the person who planted the story. I messaged them both as I made my way over to the park.” I run the tip of my nose up the column of his strong neck, inhaling that clean sharp smell of his. It’s slightly woodsy with notes of citrus and I’ve missed it so damn much I actually switched my pillow with the lumpy one in the garage room that he last slept on. “Also, Autumn is out at a game night with friends. Luke and Scott actually asked me to go too, but I have to work. Woody’s room is on the other side of the house, and he sleeps so deep, he usually doesn’t even wake up for his own alarm. We have to go in and physically shake him awake.”
That seems to calm his nerves and he lets me pull him up the stairs. I hang my keys on the homemade wooden hooks beside the door and head straight for the stairs, bringing Chase with me. My room is at the end of the hall on the left. Across from mine is my parents’ room, which stays unoccupied, and next to it is a linen closet, then the bathroom and then Autumn’s room. I make it a point to show him that, so he knows he doesn’t have to be worried about being overheard tonight. I want to hear him when I make him come.
The door to my room is open, and as we step inside, I feel something other than lust fluttering in my gut. I feel regret. The bed’s a rumpled mess, the furniture from a secondhand shop in Colchester, my walls are a garish shade of deep purple that I somehow convinced my parents to let me paint them when I was fourteen. The throw rug on the floor is worn and faded, just like the curtains which have been on my windows as long as the hideous wall color.
But Chase isn’t looking at any of that. He’s looking at me.
“It’s not exactly a fancy loft.”
“I just gave up millions, Bowen,” Chase says as he pushes the door closed and those blue eyes hold mine. “For the right to be here, with you, without hiding. And it wasn’t to critique the decor.”
“What was it for?”
He takes both his hands and pushes my jean jacket off my shoulders. I keep my arms straight so it slips to the floor. He steps into me, his lips landing on the side of my neck. They’re warm and firm and when his tongue darts out and licks at my skin I shiver. His hands move up and under my shirt, fingertips pressing hard as they trail their way up over my abs and torso, taking my T-shirt higher and higher. I tip my head back and close my eyes, enjoying all the sensations I never thought I’d get to feel again with him. Or at all, honestly. Because no one has made me feel as alive with lust, and love, as Chase Ashton. And I realize I haven’t told him. He told half the town he loved me and I haven’t said it back. I pull my head up and open my mouth to speak but he’s rolling his thumbs over both my pebbled nipples now and so the only sound I can make is a groan.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmurs against my neck. He pinches both my nipples until my balls tingle and then pulls away long enough to pull my shirt up over my head.
He’s in just a T-shirt and jeans but it might as well be a snowsuit. It’s too much. I reach for the hem of his shirt, but he’s got his hands buried in my hair now and his mouth pressed to mine, his tongue crushing my thoughts to dust. Before I know it, he’s got my pants and underwear at my ankles, so I step out of them.
He’s still fully clothed. I break our endless kiss. The scratch of his five o’clock shadow still making my skin tingle even when I pull away. “One of these things is not like the other,” I tell him, fisting my hard cock and giving it a much needed pump.
He smiles, all confidence and cockiness in the best possible way, and undoes his pants, pulling his own erection out into the open. He grabs it at the base after running his thumb over the moisture glistening on the cut tip. “Looks pretty similar to me.”
“I’m going to need to take a closer look,” I reply and drop to my knees.
“Bowen I—" I don’t wait for the rest of that sentence, I just take him into my mouth inch by glorious inch. He’s heavy and salty on my tongue as I start moving. He’s panting and I can feel his balls tighten as I play with them but he grabs my hair and pulls me off him. I tilt my head and look up at him. “I don’t want to come like this.”
“How do you want to come?”
“With you inside me.”
I open my mouth, to ask if he’s sure. But he’s sure. And so am I.
I get to my feet and grab his shoulders and move him toward the bed. He falls back onto it and it creaks like the old pile of wood it is. I crawl on top of him, sucking and kissing my way up his body, from the dark hair above his groin to his navel, to each of his rock hard nipples and then up his neck. “This is going to take time,” I tell him softly. “And if you want to stop, at any time, just say so. I’m good with waiting. We’ve got all the time in the world now.”
“I won’t ask you to stop,” Chase promises. “But I will beg you to start.”
He winks. I laugh and then kiss him, positioning myself on my side, pressing into him, my cock rubbing against his hip, leaving a wet spot. My hand squeezes his thick thigh before gliding upwards, the downy dark hairs on his legs tickling my fingertips. I find my way between his legs, cupping his balls for a second, which gets me a grunt of frustration before I let my hand dip behind them. “Spread your legs. Bend your knees.”
He follows my orders without hesitation. I slip my index finger between his ass cheeks. I line it up with his hole, the pad of my finger rubbing it with a gentle firmness. He doesn’t flinch or tense, but his eyes pinch shut. He’s nervous. I kiss him, slow and easy, and move my hand away.
“You don’t have to stop.”
“I do,” I reply and pull open my night table drawer. “I need lube.”
He reaches up and rakes his fingers through my hair while I pull out lube and a condom, dropping the condom on the pillow beside his head. His eyes move toward it. “I haven’t been with anyone before.”
I flip open the top of the lube and tip the bottle but stop short of squeezing it into my hand. He’s suggesting we go bare. The idea sends a lightning bolt of heat directly into my groin and my cock actually jerks. “But I have,” I answer simply. “So this is the safest thing.”
“For now?” he asks. “Because it’s just you for me and I want everything about us to be raw and real.”
Fuck. Emotionally needy, sexually greedy Chase is the best Chase of all. “Let’s both get tested and then these can go.”
He nods and his tongue slips out and wets his bottom lip in anticipation. I close the lube and toss it on the pillow beside the condom, my eyes never leaving his face. His eyes are bright and clear. His face holds the slightest pink flush of anticipation. That perfectly puffed-up hair is splayed every which way in a tousled mess. And I’ve never seen a better sight in my life. Then he adds a tiny, self-conscious smile and my heart suddenly feels too big for my chest. “I told you I would beg. So do I have to?”
I shake my head, too scared to speak because the only words I want to say are I love you and right now, with so much lust between us, it might cheapen the meaning. My hand makes its way over his hip and between his ass cheeks again. Drenched in lube I put my finger back to his hole. I lift up to kiss him, and the motion moves my arm up and my finger breaches his entrance. Just one finger but as soon as it pushes past the first ring of muscle his mouth falls open and a small, deep moan escapes. I nip his chin, my teeth dragging across it. “You okay?”
“Yeah. You’ve done this before. And I’ve played with toys,” he whispers. “Get to the good part.”
