“Shh!” He snaps his mouth shut as soon as the sound escapes his mouth. “Sorry. I just…”
“Will do anything to keep your secret.”
We stare at each other, the distance between us feels like a hell of a lot more than a few feet now. It’s the grand fucking canyon. And it’s filled with emotional baggage. The hurt of his face is morphing into something harder. “Not anything.”
“They knew the names of the plants. I don’t tell everyone that.”
“You told me.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, I didn’t do it, Bowen. Fuck. You really think I would?” His mouth snaps shut into a hard line when I don’t answer him instantly.
“I haven’t told anyone else the names of my plants except my siblings,” I reply. “Not one person.”
“Why would I do that to you?”
“Because your family wanted you to.” It’s a guess. A horrible burning suspicion, which as soon as I say it out loud, I realize how hurtful it is. “Chase, you‘ve spent your life lying about yourself. Why not lie about me too? You’re so close.”
Saying it out loud hurts. I can’t seem to take a deep breath and those tears I fought at V and V are trying to escape again. I clench my jaw and blink them back.
“Yeah.” He gives me a smile I’ve never seen on his perfect mouth before. It’s snide. “I thought I was close too. I thoughtwewere. But you know what? That was a lie too. You were never okay with us.”
He walks away from me. I knew this was where we would end up as soon as I read the article but somehow it still feels like the rug is being pulled out from under me. And the part that really upsets me, is that I knew better.
“And I’m going to make sure that person pays for what they’ve done,” I tell him, thinking of Harrison’s idea of suing the liar, and maybe even the paper.
He stops walking so suddenly that the parking lot gravel skitters around his feet. He turns to face me. “Are you going to… you’re threatening to out me?”
His handsome face warps into a look that can only be described as disgust and horror. I feel what’s left of my heart drop into my boots. “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I wouldn’t do that to you, for any reason. Who the hell do you think I am?”
“Who the hell do you think I am?” he counters angrily. “Because I get that you were burned by someone in my… sort of predicament. But that doesn’t give you the right to —”
“No one else knew the names of the plants!” I yell. “Explain that to me.”
“I honestly have no idea,” Chase snaps back. “The only thing I do know is that we’re done.”
I open my mouth to argue but it hits me like a bowling ball to my chest that there isn’t anything left to say. So I stand there and stare at his back as he storms away.
21
CHASE
We finish the last song and I can’t wait to take my guitar off. I’ve never struggled with band practice. It’s never felt like a chore or a nuisance but every second of the last two hours has felt like pouring vinegar on a paper cut. But that’s been how everything feels lately. Since the afternoon I left Bowen standing behind my building.
“Chase?”
I suddenly realize I’m staring at the guitar I just hung back on the wall at the foot of the stairs. Motionless, ignoring my bandmates, and Bennie. I turn around when Joe says my name and realize he must have asked me something. “Yeah. Sure.”
Now Grant, Joe, and Bennie are looking at me funny. Grant cocks an eyebrow and crosses his arms. “Yeah? Sure?”
I shake my head. “Sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked if you knew if Bowen was doing okay after that bullshit article in the paper,” Joe repeats.
“And you answered yeah sure like he asked if you wanted a beer,” Grant notes.
“A beer sounds great,” I say, ignoring the original topic and walking over to the kitchen.
