“I hate to break it to you, but it’s kinda who you already are,” Bowen murmurs, his head tipped back as I suck on his neck like a starving vampire. “At least it’s how I see you.”
“I…”love you.
His head tilts back as he searches out my face, because I’ve stopped sucking, and stopped kissing, and stopping breathing. I was honestly about to say that out loud. And that’s fucking terrifying. Because I can’t say that to a guy I can’t even hold hands with in public. At least I don’t want to. Not like this. Not now. “You… what?”
“I want to be naked.” I make my thoughts do a complete one-eighty from the emotional to the primal. It’s actually not that hard. “On that bed. With you.”
The lazy, easy smile that tugs up the corners of his mouth is hot as fuck. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”
He pops the button on his pants and then it’s only another couple of seconds until I get exactly what I want. We’re both on the bed, naked. We’re kissing and Bowen reaches down and hooks my leg behind the knee and pulls it up over his hip. We grind together like that with my hand on our cocks between us, rubbing them together, creating a blissful friction.
“I want you to fuck me. If you want it.”
Bowen’s words are soft and tangled up in our kisses, so it takes a minute for their meaning to hit me. When it does, my eyes slowly open, and I pull my mouth away from his. His eyes flutter open, the moonlight making the amber flecks glimmer a little. “I know you said that you don’t want to be fucked yet, but this is different. You’d be doing the fucking. I mean, I haven’t bottomed in a while, actually in years but… I’m babbling and killing the mood, aren’t I?”
“No. You’re not,” I promise him and plant a quick, soft kiss on his lips. “I’m just processing.”
“Forget I asked. I’m not trying to pressure you.” He leans in and kisses me again, and I let it happen for a second, but before he can slip his tongue back into my mouth, I pull away again.
“I want you.”
“I know, I got the memo.” He reaches down and wraps his hand around my hand that’s holding our dicks. I smile. He smiles. “But do you want to fuck me?”
“More than anything,” I reply, and my voice is calmer and steadier than I thought it would be given that my heart is pounding so hard against my rib cage I’m sure he can feel it.
He kisses me again, fiercely, before letting go of me and moving off the bed. He grabs his overnight bag and unzips it and digs around. He walks back over to the bed and puts a small bottle of lube and a roll of three condoms on the night table. Then he climbs back onto the bed and on top of me. His weight presses into me as his lips capture mine and his tongue sweeps into my mouth. We make out and grind against each other a little longer, and then he stretches out one of his arms and grabs the lube. His lips kiss a trail over my jaw to my lips. “Use your fingers on me. Fuck me with them like I did to you,” he whispers. “Use this too.”
He uses his thumb to pop the top as I hold out my hand and he squeezes some lube onto it. I rub it around my index and middle finger as I move my hand between his ass cheeks. I kiss him hard and deep as I push the tip of my index into him, breaking that first ring of muscle. I’ve only ever done this to myself, so I set a pace I know I like and go with that. After stroking in and out of him with one finger, up to the second knuckle, I add another, starting slow again and then going deeper until I’m moving both of them in and out of him at a hearty pace. I must be doing a good job of brushing his prostate because he’s writhing and groaning into my mouth. Pushing back against my hand he orders, “Grab a condom.” He rolls off me as I grab the condom and slide it over my dick. I am so excited even the feel of my own hands and the latex makes my cock tremble. Bowen is on his back beside me, watching me. “Remember, this was just a suggestion. If you don’t —”
“I want to fuck you.”
He smiles and I kiss him. I’m not lying, I want this, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little bit nervous. I’ve never done this before. Penetration. With a man. I just don’t want to suck at it. I know I don’t suck with women. I’ve never gotten a bad review, but I mean… this is Bowen, so it matters more than it ever has before, with anyone.
He pulls his legs apart and my hips slip between them. “It might be easier if I turn around.”
“I want to kiss you and see you,” I reply, almost sheepishly.
He cups the back of my head and brings our mouths together again. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
He’s still holding the lube so when I lean back on my knees between his legs, he sits up and coats the condom with it. After he takes a minute to suck on my right nipple and then my left, he falls back onto the bed, taking me with him. His lips brush my chin, and he moves his legs, wide, bending the knees and lifting them up. I grip my cock and slide it across his balls and lower, between his cheeks. My heart is running some kind of Olympic sprint. It feels like one beat doesn’t have time to end before another starts.
I rub the lube covered condom over his hole and then, just as he impatiently whispers, “Chase” I push into him, just a little. Just half of the tip.
He inhales sharply and pulls his knees closer to his chest. “Remember, it’s been a while. Slow and steady.”
I nod and push a little more. This is…. Not at all what I expected. It’s tighter, warmer, and much more intense. I feel a rush of heat pulse though me and push some more. Bowen groans and I freeze. “Good groan. So, fucking good.”
I push. And push. And holy fuck, my dick is buried from tip to balls inside Bowen and my entire body trembles with pleasure. “Don’t stop, Chase. Fuck me. Come on.”
“This is going to be embarrassingly short,” I whisper through gritted teeth as I pull back a little and move forward again.
His dick jerks between us and he wraps one of his big hands around it and tugs. “You’re telling me,” he lets out on a pant.
His mouth is open and his head is tipped back and I hook one of his knees and pull his leg up to my shoulder while the other one stays bent at my side and I pump in and out of him at an erratic, unsteady pace, fighting the urge to come with every movement. “Are you good? Is it good?”
“So fucking good,” he moans and reaches up and cups the side of my face. I turn my head to kiss his palm and he groans as my hips swivel and slam into him. “Oh. God. Yes.”
He strokes himself harder and then, just when I realize I’m definitely about to lose this fight and come like I’ve never come before, his hand is behind my neck pulling me down until I’m flat on top of him. Our lips meet and the kiss turns into a series of expletives as I pull out and snap back in. “Oh God this is better. How did it get better? Again. I’m gonna…”
