I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes. “I have to go.”
Before Rose can put makeup on me, I charge out of the bathroom, out of my bedroom, grab my jacket off the coat rack and run out the door.
Chapter 57
Devin
I’m shifting from the ball of one foot to the other nervously as I stand in the living room window, waiting for the car service to drop Ash and Conner off from the airport. She told me to meet her at her place—our old place. I’d spent ten minutes trying to remember where I’d put the keys. It is weird being here without her. If I’m honest, it is just weird to be here in general. Ashleigh hasn’t changed anything since I moved out—everything looks exactly the same but somehow it doesn’t feel the same. This house is no longer my home.
When we bought this place, our first married year, Ash was so excited. She thought it was a palace. It had been gutted and redone with the best finishes like the marble counters and dark hardwood floors. To be honest, at first the space seemed a little cold to me, but I loved the fact that it made her so happy. The longer I lived in the brownstone, the more it felt like a perfect fit—especially after Conner was born. I loved to come home from a long road trip to a living room full of toys, and everything in what Ashleigh referred to as “chaos” because, after growing up in a tiny house with three other boys, that’s what love looked like to me. It wasn’t pristine or refined; it was sloppy, loud and real. Which is why I had such trouble in my rental before Callie came along. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but just like Conner needed things to make him feel at home, I needed her. Callie was loud and messy and…Callie was love.
I sigh and stare at my winter jacket hanging on the banister in the hall. Tucked into the inside pocket are the terms of our divorce. My intention is to go over it with Ash tonight, and if all goes well, the paperwork will be filed by the end of the week.
I sigh. I still don’t have Callie but that doesn’t mean I should go back to Ashleigh. I try to push Callie from my mind just as a town car slows to a stop at the curb. I stride to the hall and pull open the front door, eager to see my son.
As the driver struggles to pull Ashleigh’s three oversize, overstuffed suitcases out of his trunk, I march over to Ashleigh, who is climbing out of the backseat. Her head spins and I see a stern frown covering her whole face. Her eyes lock with mine and the disdain becomes mixed with relief.
“I’ve been trying your cell and you didn’t answer. I thought maybe you forgot us,” Ashleigh admits as I reach her.
“I have my phone on silent. We had a team meeting and I guess I forgot to turn it back on,” I explain and dig it out of my back pocket. I see her missed call and shake my head, taking it off silent mode. “Sorry about that.”
I lean into the back of the car. Conner sleepily opens his eyes, says “Daddy” and reaches for me. I take him out of the car seat and lift him into my arms.
“A team meeting? On New Year’s Eve?” she says, not hiding the annoyance in her voice.
“Yes. We’re struggling to make the play-offs, Ash. Management thought we could use a bit of a pep talk,” I tell her, trying not to be annoyed at her clear annoyance.
“Well, I’m just glad you’re here now,” she says and I can literally see her force her face into a serene smile.
She reaches up and gives me a hug, which is awkward with Conner in my arms. I gently hand him over to her and turn to pay the driver. She carries our son inside as the driver leaves and I haul her bags up the steps and into the house.
“How was the rest of your time in Silver Bay?” I ask casually as I carefully pile her bags in the corner of the hall next to the stairs.
She starts to chat about her parents, the snow, Conner’s adventures on the outdoor ice rinks, my parents, and on and on and on. I’m not completely interested in what she’s saying but I do appreciate having her to talk to. It’s been so long since I have had simple, inane conversation, and I can’t believe how comforting it is.
“So I thought I would fix us some dinner,” Ashleigh says quietly. “Maybe watch a movie? I just have to head to the store.”
I nod. “How about dinner and maybe we can talk after Con goes to bed?”
“Sure. Whatever you want.”
Fifteen minutes later we’re walking through the grocery store aisles together. Conner, who is tired and cranky, is in my arms again, trying to sleep as he clings to my neck. Ashleigh happily pushes the shopping cart as she loads it with fresh veggies, milk, steaks and cheese.
We move into another aisle to grab some of Conner’s favorite yogurt snacks and almost run cart-to-cart into Loops, his wife, Tara, and their son, Henry, who is cooing happily in his BabyBjörn strapped to the front of his dad.
“Devin!” my goalie says in a shocked voice.
“Hey,” I say and feel instantly uncomfortable.
Tara smiles at me and gives Ashleigh a tight smile and a short nod. The two women have never been close, which has always bothered me. Loops is one of my best friends on the team and Tara is just a doll. She often coordinates events and charity work for the wives and I’ve never been able to figure out why the two don’t get along. But I blame the tension as the reason Ashleigh rarely participates in the team’s charity work.
“You two doing New Year’s together?” Loops can’t keep the disbelief out of his voice.
I nod firmly and smile as big as I can. “Yep. Just a lazy night in as a family. How about you guys?”
“Yeah, we’re taking it easy.” Loops nods and looks down at his perky, pretty wife who grins and blushes. “Tara is feeling a little nauseous.”
Conner stirs in my arms and I pat his back to settle him down as I watch Tara put a hand on her stomach, and for the first time I notice a small bump on the usually fit woman.
