“But you never left her,” I say.
“Nah.” Luc smiles at something he’s thinking. Something intimate, I can tell. “Don’t tell her this but…your sister owns me. I’m, like, totally her bitch.”
I laugh out loud at that as I place a glass of OJ in front of him. It’s the first time I have laughed since Christmas Eve. It’s fleeting. My thoughts get dark again very quickly.
“But doesn’t it terrify you?” I want to know. “The idea that someone could very easily hurt you?”
“No. For two reasons,” he says simply and smiles this deep, sexy grin. “For one thing, I trust your sister would never do that to me. And for another, I’m not a control freak like you are.”
“What?”
“Devin has been calling you Callie Control Freak since you were a kid,” Luc reminds me as he finishes the last of his French toast. “And the thing about love is—you lose all control.”
“I’ve alwayshadto be in control,” I argue back. “All three of us had to be in control of everything in our lives because no adult was there to do it for us.”
He nods at that as he stands up and brings his plate to the sink to rinse the excess syrup off it before he puts it in the dishwasher. “You’re completely right. But at the same time, Rosie and Jessie learned to let go of that closed-off, controlled mind-set and let love do its thing.”
He wiggles his eyebrows at that last comment and I roll my eyes.
Their bedroom door opens again and a freshly showered Rose comes sauntering out in a pair of well-worn jeans and a soft, clingy, crimson V-neck sweater. Luc’s whole face lights up at the sight of her, his big brown eyes filled with love.
“Morning,Fleur,” Luc says to her softly, calling her flower in French, a nickname that used to make me roll my eyes at the romantic cliché of it, but now I almost smile.
“Morning, babe.” She smiles and winks at him.
My heart drops into my socks. They look so happy. I had started to feel happy with Devin. Because of Devin—but even though I was dealing with it, it still terrified me the entire time. It didn’t seem to terrify either of them. I wonder if I would have ever gotten past that. Not that it matters now that Ashleigh wants him back.
Rose lets her eyes sweep over my appearance and then she sighs. “Callie, if you’re intent on living your life without him, at some point you have to live your life without him. You’ve barely left the apartment since we got back from Silver Bay.”
She was right. I had gone out only to jog or buy groceries. I spent most of my time locked in my bedroom—asleep or at least trying to sleep. The TV show was still on winter break so I didn’t even have work to distract me.
“I have to go out, but when I get back we’re doing something, okay? And sitting on the couch and moping is not an option,” she says firmly.
I nod. There’s nothing else I can do. I love my little sister but I don’t want to hang out with her today. She’s going to try to make me talk about it and the thought makes me want to vomit. So I shower quickly and leave the apartment before she comes back. Bundled up in a parka, a pair of giant winter boots, a scarf, mitts and a hat, I just start walking, wandering through Prospect Park and then down random streets. I find a movie theater and buy a ticket for the next movie and sit through some asinine comedy.
When I emerge from the theater, it’s almost seven and everything is dark, just like my mood. I had turned off my phone and am not about to turn it back on because I know there will be a billion texts and voicemails from Rose—and maybe even Jessie, if Rose was worried enough to tell her I took off.
I start to walk aimlessly again until I see a neon sign and peek in a window to see a relatively full bar. The sign says Black Horse Pub and it looks like a bit of a dive bar, but hey—I suddenly feel like a drink…or ten.
When I get inside, it’s definitely a bit of a dive but none of the patrons look all too scary. I sit down at the bar and the bartender looks up at me and smiles. He’s cute with shaggy dark hair and a brightly colored tattoo sleeve on his left arm.
“A shot of Jack and a bottle of Sam Adams, please,” I say and attempt to smile.
He nods and brings my order quickly. I down the shot and immediately order another. He raises an eyebrow but it’s more like he’s intrigued than concerned. His eyes are very blue and he’s got a pretty little dimple in his left cheek.
Maybe Rose is right. Maybe I need to start living my life again. I wanted to be the old Callie again and old Callie would totally hit on this guy.
“Can I buy you a shot?” I ask him with a wink. “I don’t like drinking alone.”
Chapter 54
Devin
I’m sitting alone eating a box of takeout pad thai and flipping through the sports channels when my text message alert goes off. It’s from my teammate Tommy Donahue, which is surprising.
Your girl Callie is at Black Horse Pub and she’s wasted!
I read the sentence three times before it registers. Callie is drunk. Who cares? Not my concern. I text Tommy back.
