“So will she. That’s my plan at least,” Luc assures me seriously as he puts his coat back on, then gives me a wry smile.
My mouth hangs open as they both kiss my cheeks and follow their significant others down the street. I stand there alone, leaning against the building for support, and watch the snow begin to fall. I close my eyes and try to take deep, calming breaths. I’m fairly certain almost an hour goes by and I still don’t move.
People come and go from the bar. No one seems to notice me, until Avery walks out of the bar with Chooch. They both hesitate when they see me.
“Hey.” Avery smiles. It’s warm, inviting and completely ultimatum-free. He says something quietly to Chooch that I can’t hear and then walks over to me as Chooch walks the other way and starts dialing his phone.
“So, you and Garrison have something going on?” Avery asks tentatively.
“Sort of,” I admit. “It’s complicated.”
“Considering he had a wife a few months ago, I can understand that.” Avery reaches out with both hands and rubs my shoulders soothingly.
“They broke up before I got involved with him,” I blurt out quickly.
“I figured,” Avery assures me in his sexy, soothing baritone. “You’re too honest a girl for that nonsense. And Devin is like Cole—he’s too good a guy for that.”
I nod and almost smile. Devin really is an amazing human being. And he wants me. Me. How the hell did that happen?
“So are you going to Devin’s house?” he asks me with a sweet, sexy little smirk. “Or are you coming back to my hotel room?”
Avery doesn’t want me to change. Avery doesn’t want me to be in a relationship. He just wants me for simple, clean, fun sex. Avery is the easy answer.
Chapter 47
Devin
As the clock hits two a.m., I let the realization hit me. She’s not coming. I don’t know if I should punch something or cry. I want to do both. I sit up in bed and grab my cell phone off the bedside table. I want to call her and scream at her. She healed my heart just to fucking break it again. Why the fuck would she do this to me?!
I close my eyes and bump the back of my head gently, over and over, against the headboard. I’m so angry I spend the next half hour just sitting in bed thinking of all the things I want to scream at her.You’re a coward. You just gave up the best thing that will ever happen to you. I hope you’re happy alone. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Eventually that anger turns to defeat. It’s over. She doesn’t want me. I pushed her too far and it’s done. I can’t be mad at her. I mean, Iamangry at her, but I shouldn’t be. She doesn’thaveto love me just because I love her. I just…God, I wanted her to so badly.
And at almost four in the morning the sadness and self-pity hit. What the hell is wrong with me that I can’t get a woman to fall in love with me and stay in love with me? And Callie…I had no idea how much she would mean to me. Yeah, there is no denying she’s gorgeous and I’ve always found her attractive, but I never thought she would be what I wanted in a life partner. She’s bold and assertive and sometimes downright blunt and abrasive. I always wanted a demure, sweet, loving woman. But now…the thought of losing her…it’s killing me. Callie is blunt but that means there’s no mind games and her abrasiveness only comes out when she’s protecting someone. She may not be demure but she’s sweet—watching her with Conner is proof of that. And she’s incredibly loving in her own way—she may not come out and say she loves you, but she takes care of you, which is proof enough. And in bed…she’s so sexual and not at all shy. When I was younger, it was a little intimidating, but now…it’s the hottest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I could honestly see a future with her. If only she wanted one with me.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a car engine coming down the street. I strain to hear it and fight not to get my hopes up. It’s Brooklyn. There’s traffic all day and all night, but because it’s a little less bustling than Manhattan, it does tend to quiet down at this hour. Still, that doesn’t mean it’s Callie.
The engine noise gets louder and then slows and idles nearby. It sounds like it’s right outside my house. My heart is jackhammering in my bare chest. I stupidly consider crossing my fingers. I’m a fucking idiot.
I wait and…Nothing. No footsteps. No front door. Nothing.
After about five minutes, I hear the front door open. I have to stifle the impulse to yell YES at the top of my lungs. After all, she could have already been with Avery tonight. It’s almost four in the morning. Maybe she’s just coming to get her stuff.
I hadn’t bothered to close my bedroom door when I got home. There was no need. I was sure she was coming to join me. At least I figured if I did that, it would make me feel more sure and calm my nerves.
A second later I see her as she walks right past her own bedroom door and right to mine. She leans on the doorframe and her eyes find mine. In the dim light from the lamp beside my bed I can see she may have been crying.
“Where have you been?”
“Walking around, trying to find a way to do this without dying of fear.”
She wasn’t with Avery. She didn’t pick him. She came to me. She’s picking me. Us. She wants us.
“Callie…” I whisper her name and smile softly as my emotions do a complete one-eighty. “Come here.”
She obeys my command and walks into the room, stopping at the side of my bed.
“Get undressed and come to bed,” I whisper to her.
