I take a step back and put my hand out to keep him from coming any closer. “What do you want from me, Devin?”
“I want you to stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop having flings. Don’t move on from ours.” His hazel eyes are leveled on me with such a clear, focused stare that I get goose bumps. “I’m your final move.”
I suddenly can’t make my lungs work. I can’t take a breath. I feel light-headed and dizzy and angry and confused. He takes another step closer to me despite my hand in front of me trying to block his way. He just simply reaches out and moves it down, out of his way. And then he wraps an arm around my back and pulls me into him so our bodies are flush against each other. It does absolutely nothing to help me regain my composure. In fact, my pulse starts to race even faster and my knees get weak.
“I have never felt the way I feel with you with anyone else. Not Ashleigh. No one,” he whispers against my ear. “And you’d feel it too if you let yourself. I’m not asking for marriage. I’m just saying—don’t move on.”
My body goes into full-on panic mode. I push him back, turn and walk away without even looking back. I head directly into the women’s restroom, into a stall and slam the door.
I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
I don’t know how long I’ve been in there when I hear the bathroom door open and close.
“Callie?” It’s Leah. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Thanks!” I call back, and it’s too loud and completely strained.
“Can you come out?”
I take a deep cleansing breath and open the stall door. She’s leaning against the sinks, her almost white blond hair swept off her face with a side braid. Her eyes are friendly and warm and she’s wearing a bit of a smile. She hands me a glass of water she must have gotten from the bar. I take it and take a sip. My hand is shaking.
“So I guess this is the first time you’ve been in love,” she says softly and I glare at her. “Don’t get mad at me. It’s not my fault you’re so obvious about it.”
“I never said I…” I shake my head. “I don’t want to be yet another Garrison victim. No offense.”
She laughs at that. “Hey, if having a beautiful, smart, funny, talented man love me unconditionally for the rest of my life makes me a victim, then that’s what I am.”
I take another sip of water. The door to the bathroom opens again and Rose and Jessie slip in. Rose sidles up to the sinks and stands next to Leah, facing me. Jessie leans against the closed restroom door.
“Look, I fell in love with Cole when I was just sixteen,” Leah tells me. “I didn’t know any better. So I’m not judging.”
“I’ve been in love with Luc almost as long, but Iamjudging,” Rose tells me flatly.
“Thanks a lot,” I snap back at her. “So much for that unconditional love siblings are supposed to show each other.”
“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes and gives me a half smile. “I love you no matter what happens with Devin. But Callie, I don’t get it. The exact same people in life abandoned us both. I’ve been there too. Jessie has as well. But we never ever thought it meant that all love was evil.”
“I’m not you,” I say lamely and put the glass of water down beside Leah and look at my reflection in the mirror. I’m a little pale and my eyeliner is a little smudged. I wipe at it carefully with my finger.
“No, you’re stronger than both of us,” Jessie announces and gives me a small smile. “You’re the one that has always been the strongest. You handled Mom’s death the best. You handled Grandma Lily leaving us the best. You kept us from falling apart when things went sideways with Luc and Jordan.”
“You know why I’m strong enough to do that?” I question, and before they can answer, I tell them. “Because I don’t let myself get hurt like you do.”
I catch Jessie’s eye in the mirror. She is staring back at me with an unwavering gaze. She really doesn’t get it. I can tell looking at Rose that she doesn’t either. How can they forget how destroyed they got over Luc and Jordan? How devastated Mom was when Dad took off?
“How is that so damn easy for you?” I rant and spin to face them. “How can you all just give up everything and just become a part of them and their lives without even blinking?”
“See, that’s your issue right there,” Leah interrupts with a bright smile and a bit of a jump, like she’s just figured out a cure for cancer or something equally important. “You think falling in love with someone means losing yourself. Giving up who you are for someone else.”
“Not falling in love.Beingin love,” I correct hastily and sip down the rest of the water. “Falling in love feels like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and somehow landing safely and then wanting to do it again the next day.”
Jessie suddenly gets teary eyed. “So you admit you’re falling in love? With Devin!”
She hugs me. It’s lopsided and sloppy and so tight she’s just about cutting off my air supply. I untangle myself from her. “Stop putting words in my mouth.”
