My blood runs cold from shock and at the exact same time my face flushes from embarrassment. Then the noise starts again. I shuffle back to my room noiselessly, making sure to shut my bedroom door tightly. I lean against it and my nose crinkles up as I think about this discovery.
Devin is fucking someone. Someone who is not his wife. I think maybe on some level I should feel horror or disappointment toward him because he’s violating his marriage vows, but at the same time—is there anything left to violate? Ashleigh pretty much destroyed everything already, didn’t she? I can’t begrudge him a revenge fuck because I would do it too—if I were stupid enough to get myself in a situation where someone could rip my heart out.
I go over to one of my suitcases and dig around in the dark until I can find my iPod and earbuds. I crawl back under the covers, shove the buds in my ears and hit play.
As I close my eyes and try to fall back to sleep, my thoughts roam.
I haven’t been laid in a while. Almost four full weeks, which isn’t actually that long. I’ve gone longer before. Hell, I was celibate for almost eleven months once, so why am I suddenly so sexually frustrated?
Maybe it’s from being around so many guys. The TV show crew is ninety percent male and the people I work with directly are all male. And there is this total babe named Matthew who is the assistant to one of the actors and he and I flirted a lot. And then living with Devin…well, Devin is a stunning male specimen.
My mind drifts sleepily back to the evening I walked in on him sleeping naked. I had been joking about taking cell phone pictures but even if I’d taken them, I wouldn’t have to look at them. I had his naked image burned into my brain. He was gorgeous—all of him. His flaccid dick was bigger than most men’s hard ones.
Now my brain floats back to that little adventure in the barn when I was eighteen. I was so young and way more innocent than I liked to let on. I had only had sex once and it was fast and clumsy. The guy had rolled on top of me and given me a few awkward thrusts and rolled off. It was literally over in two minutes. That’s why I hadn’t been in any rush to try it again. But when the teasing and flirting with Devin in the barn somehow turned serious…I suddenlyneededto try it again.
I’d always had a crush on Devin—ever since Jessie had dragged us to the Garrison house one winter afternoon to “skate with my friend Jordy and his brothers.” I had just turned ten. Devin was thirteen. I’d heard of him—everyone had heard of him. He was this hockey star who was going to be drafted to the NHL. People were actually saying that about him even then. That was a big deal in Silver Bay. I didn’t care about the hockey skills. I had liked his boyish yet cocky smile, his pretty caramel eyes and those unbelievable lips. Devin’s lips were wide and plump and I have been obsessed with them since that day.
But because of how close we became with his family, I never ever gave any serious consideration to fooling around with him, or any of the Garrison brothers. Once, at a birthday party at Billy’s house, we’d played Truth or Dare and I dared Cole to kiss me. He’d done it without even blinking. Cole had been a good kisser but I had pretended it was Devin the entire time. Still, I knew that silly dare of a kiss was as close as I could ever come to crossing lines with those brothers. Because if I did anything else, it could cause a rift that took Wyatt and Donna out of our lives, and I loved them and needed them more than anything. They were the parents I never had.
My lovesick sisters hadn’t realized what would happen—or hadn’t cared as much about the risks. Jessie let Jordan take her virginity and everything had blown right up. Since everything was already obliterated when Devin had that party for his new contract, I wasn’t taking any risks when I gave in to my fantasy. Still, I was a little bit stunned he played along. I’d never gotten any indication at all that Devin thought I was remotely attractive.
The words moaned by the random chick down the hall run through my head again.Fuck, you’re so big!She wasn’t just being polite. When I first felt Devin’s dick through his shorts in that barn, it had actually caused a ripple of fear. I almost didn’t go through with it because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it fit. But it had fit—and it had felt incredible. And the friction when he started to move…thatwas what a sexual experience was supposed to feel like.
Damn Jordan—or as I like to call him, Big Bird—for interrupting us. I think I hated Jordan almost as much for that as for breaking Jessie’s heart. Almost-sex with Devin had spurred me on to try it again with someone else—a guy from my community college named Mike who had adorable freckles on his nose and a great body. Mike had definitely been better than the first guy, but not quite as exciting as Devin. In the years and years since, I’d had some really fantastic sex and mind-blowing orgasms, but I always wondered if an orgasm with Devin might be better. It didn’t bother me, though, that I would never know. You can’t miss what you never had, right?
Curiosity gets the better of me and I pull my earbuds out of my ears. I hear nothing at first but as I strain I can faintly hear some grunting. It’s a male grunt. Devin’s grunt, but not the sound he had made with me. And then I hear her again—the moaning has changed to high-pitched squeaking. The rhythm of the noise indicates it’s probably in time with some very hard thrusts.
I shove my earbuds back in my ears. A yawn overtakes me. I’m tired.
I picture Devin behind her pumping in and out of her…rubbing her clit with one of his long, strong fingers. I try to conjure up an image of her as I yawn again and curl onto my side. Is she blond? Brunette? Redhead? Is her hair long? Is she short or tall? Pale or tanned? As I start to slip back into sleep, my brain starts playing tricks on me. The redhead I’m picturing morphs into a blonde and then a brunette, and then as I slip into the dream world, it morphs into me.
Chapter 11
Devin
It’s pain in my head that feels like a mallet slamming a snare drum that tears me from sleep. I roll from my stomach onto my back and my shoulder bumps something warm and soft. Memories of last night explode behind my eyes. The bar. The phone call with Ashleigh. The heartache. The booze. The dirty blonde. The dirty blonde, naked. My eyes fly open and the pounding intensifies.
I turn to the left and see her, tangled up in my sheets, curled on her side, her hair fanned out on my pillow, her bare back exposed. She’s probably a very lovely sight, but bile rises in my throat anyway.
I turn away and catch the time on the alarm clock sitting on the night table: 5:24 a.m. I quietly get out of bed. Luckily, I hadn’t put away a basket of fresh laundry from before the road trip. I pull out a pair of workout shorts and a Barons T-shirt and I walk back over to the bed. Leaning over, I give her a light shake.
She stirs, turning onto her back and stretching under the sheet. When her eyes flutter open, she seems a little stunned to find me hovering above her and not in bed beside her.
“I’m sorry but you have to leave,” I whisper loudly.
“What?” She sits up, thankfully pulling the sheet with her so she’s not exposed. “What time is it?”
“Almost five thirty.”
“In the morning?!”
I nod. “Sorry, but I have a guest staying with me and it’s not a good idea if she meets you.”
“Is it your wife?” she asks stupidly.
I try not to frown. “No. My brother’s fiancée’s sister. I’m sorry about this but you really have to go.”
She sighs and her brow furrows, but she doesn’t argue. I bend down and grab her bra and dress from the heap at the end of the bed and hand them to her. Without another word I head into the master bath to give her some privacy.
